Earlier this afternoon I was on Facebook and saw a status update from my sister who had been, with her boyfriend down in FL attending the wedding of her BFF's daughter. The update announced to all and sundry, that she and her boyfriend had become engaged, with the date set in August and the event to take place at boyfriend's house. While I'm of mixed feelings about the whole thing for a lot of reasons, I do believe they are in love, or at least think they are in their own dysfunctional way, and I wish them the very best. While I am still chewing this new development over, I get a frantic PM from sister telling me NOT to tell our mother, because she hasn't told her yet. What?!? She announces her engagement to all and sundry on Facebook BEFORE telling her own mother, with whom she is very close? I called her on it. Her response? "I'm a chickenbleep." She'll blow her stack." I told her to pull up her big girl panties and call mum before one of the relatives called her to offer her their congratulations and yes, she was a chickenbleep and also incredibly tacky. Somehow that led into a whole "You don't want me to have what you and Stu had?" You were lucky enough to be in love. I never was. Now it's my turn and you don't want me to have that!" Now, I never said that, or anything to lead her to believe I felt that way. I don't feel that way. Nearly 12 hours after the fact, I can't figure out where in heck THAT came from! And, all of sudden, just as I was taking a deep breath to protest and deny feeling that way, a sudden calm came over me and I said, "I'm sorry you think I feel that way. I don't. The chat went on for a good bit longer, with me repeating the above line several times. There were quite a few other revelations, including the fact that her new fiancé's younger brother, one of 3 "jocks" who threw me through a plate glass window my freshman year, is an end-stage alcoholic who lives with sister and her fiancé. He lives with fiancé and sister because fiancé feels it is his "duty" to care for his brother, which includes buying his booze. Oh, and did I mention that said brother in law to be rages occasionally? My response to that, "I'm sure you'll figure out a way to handle that." I have been ripping my (cropped) hair out for years over Ruth's life decisions, dating back to when Stu and I were first an "item" and we were rooting manic sister out of one or the other bar or party. I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I still love and care about little sister, but I can't take on her decisions anymore. She's a grown woman and she and only she is responsible for, and will bear the consequences of, her choices. I'm done digging her out of her "bars and parties". I hope they do love each other truly and deeply. I hope they do have what Stu and I had. And, with all my heart, I hope it doesn't end for them like it did for me and Stu. But, it's their lives, their choices. Now, to deal with the next phone call from my mother, and another round of detachment...because I am going to get a royal earful.