I did it!!!!!! She is IN custody!!!!!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Apr 23, 2013.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Baby daddy just texted me to let me know that she is in custody. He thinks she failed the drug test that they popped her with this morning. They are talking to her about Family Court. I don't know how he knows all of this unless they are allowing her to tell him, but he is keeping me updated. He is working on retrieving her things from where she was staying.

    Wow, something was actually done! I don't know what is going to happen next, but for now she is safe, fed and away from drugs. I know her first court date was scheduled for May 1st. I am thinking she will at least be locked up until then...please God, I pray they send her directly to rehab...

  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I am relieved that your difficult child may be getting some help again soon.
    I so hope the baby will be okay too.

  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I am bawling. I am praying that I did the right thing.

    They will let her keep the baby if she gets clean, won't they?? Please tell me that I did not just send the baby into the system....
  4. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    You absolutely did the right thing! You had to protect your daughter and her unborn baby. I am so sorry that you are upset, but you are fighting for your daughter's life now. Please try to remember that she is safe now, she has a bed and food, and she can start to take care of herself and her baby. You are a wonderful mom, and I am sending you lots of good wishes and hugs.
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aw PG, I can so feel your pain.............I'm sorry you are going through this tumultuous experience, Good Lord........whichever way we turn sometimes, we're still overcome with so many emotions. I believe you did the right thing too...........and I don't think they just take babies away from mothers that ruthlessly....she still has time to clean up her act. Remember to take deep breaths............we're all here for you and we're holding you in a collective hug...............
  6. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Member


    You made the right choice. I'm grateful she and the baby are safe and away from drugs.

    sending you hugs....
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    One of her friends just called to tell me - he didn't know that I already knew. He said she would be trying to call me shortly (WHY she still has a phone and is allowed to make all these calls is beyond me). I told him I had nothing to say to her. I don't. Nothing good anyway.

    I just texted her and let her know I know what happened, I love her and that was all I had to say until she finally gets clean.

    It is in God's hands now....
  8. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    ...sending you more hugs for your hurting heart. It is good to remember: let go and let God.
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Here is what the bio says about my court contact - I am thinking I may have the right person on my side:

    SW currently serves on the Board of Directors of the Edmundson-Telford Center for Children, and the Board of Advisors for Friends of Recovery, which supports alternative sentencing courts. She is formerly on the board of 3 Dimensional Life, a Christian substance abuse rehabilitation program. She is a founding member of WomenSource, a nonprofit organization that empowers women with personal and professional resources, and Women Working Wonders, a program to support the children served by CASA.

    I still can't stop crying....
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds good PG. Sometimes the crying is a release, not just about pain and grief, a catharsis which empties you of all the fear and worry and anger you've been experiencing around your difficult child and the baby. You've been on a severely chaotic ride lately, crying may in the end be helpful................even though going through it is really hard...............I'm sorry. Somehow this all feels timely to me. With all your trying and your love for your daughter, you really may have found a way for her to take to another kind of life. Be gentle with yourself PG, hang in there..................hugs................
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    PG I am so glad and relieved for you, her and the baby. No matter what happens you did the right thing that baby has a much better chance in life if his mother is not using drugs while pregnant, even if it is forced on her rather than her own decision.

    keeping everything crossed that this is the right wake up call for her.

  12. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hi PG, and Hugs to you,

    Nothing you did would put your grandchild in the system. Your difficult child may be responsible because of her choices, but not you! You may have saved a life, perhaps two lives. You did your best to intervene to preserve a life. You should be so proud - you did a tough thing, but it was the right thing.
  13. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    You've done the right thing for your daughter and her unborn child. Hugs to you.
  14. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Well, apparently I have much more to release....can't stop the tears, but I am starting to feel hope.

    The director of the rehab she was in before is having me put difficult child on the waiting list for a facility for mothers and expecting mothers (this place is even covered by Medicaid!!!). She is going to allow difficult child to come back to her rehab until she can get in to the other facility. I just need to fill out the paperwork and get the wheels moving....
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.....I know it's painful but you are on the right course. Hugs DDD
  16. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Hugs to you. This is very hard, but the best for your difficult child and unborn baby.
  17. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hugs and love to you - you are doing all the right things.

    And please remember -- you can do all the right things and you can light up the road ahead, but she needs to take those steps... any negative consequences are due to HER choices and those are not - and never were in your hands.

  18. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Great news!

    This is the best thing for everyone! She will be in a much better position to take care of the herself and make good decisions after being off drugs for several months before the baby comes. If anything, you have given her a better chance of keeping her baby!
  19. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I am so relieved! Your difficult child is SAFE and for this period of the pregnancy, no new drugs will get through to that innocent baby. You did AWESOME and absolutely 100% did the right thing. The brave thing, the selfless thing, the hard thing, the right thing. Good job!!! Now it's up to your difficult child what she makes of this opportunity. And yes, custody IS an opportunity. She has help waiting, she has to take it if she wants it to make a difference. I hope you sleep super well tonight knowing her and baby are in better shape tonight than last night.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG....this is what I know from information I have gleaned over the years. If a pregnant woman gives birth in custody in a jail that doesnt have a wing that allows them to keep the infants with them for a time period, then they allow the mothers the opportunity to contact their first choice of someone to come to the hospital to take the baby home and take care of the baby until they get home and are deemed ready to care for the baby by DSS. Now that person could be the baby's father if he is not an addict himself or most likely it is the inmates parents. If the girls parents wont do it, thats when foster care gets involved. This is why I said you have a lot of thinking to do. Hard thinking. Personally I couldnt send my grandchild into foster care so I would have to go get that baby. And I dont do babies well. I like toddlers that are already potty trained...lol. To me, kids aged 4 and up are good ages. Below that....ehhh.