I did it!!!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Man alive, what an emotional week...

    difficult child kept trying to call me over the weekend and was getting a message saying the number was blocked at owner's request (I need to call and find out what is going on). So they let her call me from booking last night. I swear, I think I heard her knees buckle when I answered. She was freaking out thinking all sorts of things. She thought I took off with her baby. :( She has been heartbroken, devastated and just wants to be with her little boy. She told me last night that she wants NOTHING to do with that koi (meth) EVER, EVER again. And I can honestly say at this point, I do believe her. I have seen firsthand what this baby has done to her. This baby has had a HUGE impact on her like nothing else.

    husband agreed that she should not be separated from her little boy anymore. That being away from him too long may have an adverse effect on her. Even he saw the sheer love she has for this little man. So I had a thought - why couldn't she be on house arrest here while we wait for the rehab?? I am here and won't be going anywhere. husband is gone for the week. There is no reason that she couldn't be here being a mom while we wait for the rehab to be ready for her. I can then transport both of them to the rehab and get them settled in.

    So, I sent the judge pictures this morning of difficult child with her baby and begged with him to let her go on house arrest while we wait for rehab. And then I waited..

    It worked!!!! I just saw the email from the judge. She has a hearing set for this Wednesday at 8:30 to review if she can go on to house arrest. :) I am praying that she will be reunited with her son this week!!! I will do anything I have to for them to be reunited.

    Gosh this has been such a long emotional process, but you know what, I have hope again...I can't help it... <3
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Surely does sound like an emotional week!

    As you know, My oldest was once addicted to Meth and even did time in Prison Rehab for stealing from husband's client while on meth. He has stayed away from the Meth since getting out and becoming a father. Just had his 3rd baby girl last weekend...My 6th grandchild! So hard to believe I am a grandmother to 6 beautiful grandchildren as I was an only child. :)

    On the other hand..."Young difficult child" as I have often referred to him, has 3 children...One son and 2 girls. Having children has unfortunately not made the difference for him. He has gone to prison and still chosen to turn towards pain pills and alcohol again.
    So it will depend on your difficult child. It is all up to her.
    I so hope she will make the right decisions and keep the incentive to stay clean for her and Connor's sake.

    by the way, could you tell us more about baby Connor? I know he has blonde hair. What color are his eyes? Is he sleeping well? Eating well?

    Hugs and remaining hopeful with you.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Great News! Congrats. DDD
  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    He is PERFECT. He is blonde, blue eyes and absolutely precious!!! He was born at 40.1 weeks gestation weighing 8 pounds, 3 ounces and measuring 22 1/2 inches long. He is completely healthy and eats like a horse. :) Sleeps good and loves to be cuddled and held. I was always told not to spoil a baby - bogus. They are only small so long - we will enjoy holding him as much as we can. Right now he is propped on a boppy pillow next to me and he has the hiccups. I need to get him cleaned and dressed soon - he has his first pediatrician appointment today.

    And husband is becoming quite the doting grampy...

    Yes, it will be up to her. The nurses and pediatrician at the hospital told me they see addicts come in, drop a baby and go back to the parking lot to get high. They said they also see the ones that are affected and turn it around from the love of a child. They all said difficult child will be one of the ones to turn it around. I am hopeful they are right. For husband to allow her to be here on house arrest while waiting for rehab is HUGE. Obviously, he sees it, too...

    I wish I could figure out how to post pictures here...
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    PG - you cannot spoil him so young!!! Just not possible! The love and cuddles and smiles will be the best thing ever for him.
  6. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Wonderful news!
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great news grandma. Yor difficult child is so very lucky to have you and husband in her corner.
  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Oh she called this morning to talk to Connor and I got to give her the news. She was crying so many happy tears that she couldn't talk. She said she would give absolutely anything in the world to change a dirty diaper. :)

    husband is okay with her being on house arrest here (so you know he saw it, too) and says "let's play it by ear".

    She knows if she messes up here it means going back to jail and being away from her baby again and she does NOT want to risk that. I do believe her. I think she will be on her best behavior here. Too much to lose now. She even admits now that being in jail the whole time was worth it - for him.

    I do believe this baby was a game changer - for everyone. I can't help but cry every time I look at him. husband had to go out of town for the week and it is killing him. This baby is just pure love...
  9. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Wonderful news!
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Best for the baby do....attachment and all!! Congrats - this is wonderful news!!!! Fingers crossed she keeps her word - it is all up to her and in her power!
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    This beautiful, precious little man is her child. I feel the incredible joy when I am burping him and his mouth comes across my cheek. Those little eyes staring up at me while he is awake and just chilling in my arms. What she must be feeling is gut wrenching. She had two days of sheer heaven with her baby in her arms only to have him taken away and be taken off in shackles?? I know she has had a lot of chances in the past. I know she has made a lot of mistakes. And I know I get my hopes up only to have them squashed. But, I have to do this for her. I have to give her this opportunity to bond with her child and be a mother. I am so grateful that husband is understanding this...I am following my heart...
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so glad for all of you. As you and I both know, babies can change a person completely. I hate to think where I might have ended up if I hadnt had the boys.
  13. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    husband and I, too...our children made us grow up BIG time.

    She called again last night to ask how Mr. Connor's doctor's appointment went - she wanted to know everything. :) Yup, I think she is going to be a good mommy. My best friend said something to me yesterday that struck me. She said difficult child has always been go BIG or go home. If she is going to be bad, she is going to be really bad. But when she decides to do good, she was going to be really good. She is right, difficult child seems to go to the extremes, so if she wants to be a mother - she is going to be the best. Sad that it took delivering him and holding him for her to feel that, but thank God it did happen.

    difficult child told me to tell daddy she said THANK YOU for allowing her to be here with her son while waiting for rehab so I texted him and told him that. His reply was, "like I had a choice." Nope, guess not. But that is okay. It is something I have to do. A baby is most definitely a game changer...
  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG, I just wanted to tell you that all your recent posts are just beautiful to read. I so understand that great love that goes to your grandson straight from your heart.

    I was in another state when my granddaughter was born, 17 years ago, and although I flew back to see her when she was a tiny new born, I didn't see her again until she was 5 months old. My daughter warned me that she was at that stage where she cried if people she didn't know picked her up, she didn't want my feelings to be hurt if my baby granddaughter was not happy about me holding her.

    They were flying in and I picked them up at the airport. My daughter had the baby in a little carrier and she put the carrier on the floor when she saw me. I knelt down and said, "Hi" and the baby cracked up laughing. I mean that incredible continual giggling babies do...........I picked her up and she just kept laughing, pushing back and looking at me and cracking up. My daughter said, "she's NEVER done that Mom." She happily hung out in my arms. For that whole stay, my granddaughter would laugh like that when she and I had eye contact. My daughter said, "it's like she recognizes you." It's as if a bond was there before we even met.

    I was in love in a way I never was before. That bond between us never left. She and I still crack up like that and we always have. So, I know just how you feel about Connor, there is nothing in the world like it. I am so happy for you.
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on your newest grandchild!!! They sure are SUCH a blessing!!!!
  16. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Man alive. So difficult child told me that I need a landline in order for her to be on house arrest here. I had the home phone shut off ages ago - we don't use it. So I called Comcast to see if they can "switch it back on". They tell me they are VOIP so it won't work, I need a landline. SO, I call AT&T. I go through everything and she tells me it won't be until next week. I immediately started sobbing and told her our story.

    She arranged for it to happen tomorrow!! :)

    Thank God for angels on earth...
  17. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    This put a smile on my face. I hope and pray that Connor is all that she needs to turn her life around for good.
  18. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    He is allowing it!! I am at the jail now and hoping to bring her home shortly...the bed is open for the long term program so she won't be with us long at all. Just got some paperwork to fill out..
  19. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Okay, I can update more now. Couldn't bring her home today but hopefully tomorrow. The judge layed into her still. He had quite a bit to say - all of which I agreed with, of course. He told her she has already shown she can be a meth head. Here is her chance to prove she can be a mother. She told him she is ready. She wants to be with her baby. She will do ANYTHING they tell her to. He told her if she messes up, he is putting her back in jail and keeping her there. He said he doesn't care about the cost because it will be worth it. He is NOT playing. He told her while he is not the touchy feely type, he understands there is bonding that needs to happen between mother and baby and so he is allowing the house arrest.

    But, it truly won't be for long. The bed is already open and waiting for her. She just needs a TB test and to apply for tariff. She needs to apply for tariff to qualify for the long term rehab program and to be able to have her son there with her. The other alternative was a six week program, where she wouldn't have her son with her, and while in there she could apply for tariff and move to the long term program. Then she would be able to get her son. So, I am SO glad we can do the house arrest and she will be able to go straight into long term with Connor. The program provides daycare while she attends counseling, groups, etc. From there she will move on to transitional living where they will continue to provide child care while she gets a job. Absolutely amazing. Truly amazing. God is great.

    So, now to get the bedroom upstairs ready for her and Connor while they are here. I got rid of the bed so she is going to have to sleep on an air mattress. :)

    Happy day. Hope. I have hope...
  20. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I'm so happy for all of you!!