could cause such a physical reaction. Sometimes I struggle to catch my breath others I feel my heart will literally break in two. Since ktbug has entered Residential Treatment Center (RTC) I've actually had time to be sad, to be angry, to rant at my God. I hate, absolutely hate that I no longer have my husband by my side. I miss him tremendously & the more I wander about my home alone the more it hurts. I'm trying, really trying to get thru this.... I'm actually so angry that I'm blaming the tweedles for the stress & husband dying, when I know it's a very illogical & irrational reaction. I cannot talk or visit them until I get this under control or I will say something I will truly regret. There are too many "if I had only" or "if husband had come to me or gone to the doctor" & many other things haunting me. Again illogical, likely pretty normal. I miss husband tonight. I hate living alone. Thanks for listening - just needed to talk.