My difficult child is 13, is my stepson, and is currently living in a group home. He has serious issues and will probably not be coming back to live with my husband and I. This is partially due to his destructive tendencies, and also because he has tried to use abuse accusations to get his way, and continues to threaten to do so.
We visit with him often, and bring him back to our house for dinner together. Hes been ok with us. Once in a while hes really good and pleasant to be around. We havent had him for any overnight visits, and per the judges suggestion we arent placing a lot of expectations on him, so we dont run into too much conflict.
However, difficult child talks a lot about hurting animals and people. He also makes a lot of racist and sexist comments (as a person with a multiethnic background and as a woman, you can imagine this makes me pretty unhappy). difficult child doesnt say these things in anger, but rather as something that he thinks would be fun or things that he thinks are funny. (Example: Wouldnt it be fun to put a mouse in a glass of water, put it in the freezer for thirty minutes, and see if the mouse is still alive afterwards?) Nothing weve done has dissuaded him from talking this way.
His therapist and social worker are both concerned that he may be hurting animals, and not just due to the way he talks. Hes had deep scratches on his hands that hes told bogus stories about when asked where they came from.
Im at the point where I just want to run away. We scheduled another visit with him today, and I just dont want to do it. I dont even know if I can say I love the kid anymore. I love the kid he used to be
I feel trapped. difficult child considers me and my husband to be his parents, and I dont want to ditch him like his mom did. At the same time, I want my own children, my husband no longer does (thanks, difficult child), and these visits are becoming very painful for me.
I want to do the right thing, and I feel like the right thing is being there for difficult child. The way that he talks, though, and my ticking bio-clock, are really bringing me down. And I see so little improvement in him.
We visit with him often, and bring him back to our house for dinner together. Hes been ok with us. Once in a while hes really good and pleasant to be around. We havent had him for any overnight visits, and per the judges suggestion we arent placing a lot of expectations on him, so we dont run into too much conflict.
However, difficult child talks a lot about hurting animals and people. He also makes a lot of racist and sexist comments (as a person with a multiethnic background and as a woman, you can imagine this makes me pretty unhappy). difficult child doesnt say these things in anger, but rather as something that he thinks would be fun or things that he thinks are funny. (Example: Wouldnt it be fun to put a mouse in a glass of water, put it in the freezer for thirty minutes, and see if the mouse is still alive afterwards?) Nothing weve done has dissuaded him from talking this way.
His therapist and social worker are both concerned that he may be hurting animals, and not just due to the way he talks. Hes had deep scratches on his hands that hes told bogus stories about when asked where they came from.
Im at the point where I just want to run away. We scheduled another visit with him today, and I just dont want to do it. I dont even know if I can say I love the kid anymore. I love the kid he used to be
I feel trapped. difficult child considers me and my husband to be his parents, and I dont want to ditch him like his mom did. At the same time, I want my own children, my husband no longer does (thanks, difficult child), and these visits are becoming very painful for me.
I want to do the right thing, and I feel like the right thing is being there for difficult child. The way that he talks, though, and my ticking bio-clock, are really bringing me down. And I see so little improvement in him.
