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General Parenting
I don't believe our son has CD
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 723112" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Absolutely yes, but not for Conduct Disorder! Do you realize that by not telling him about his true history until now you just destroyed his reality, his security and his sense of who he is??? All three of my adopted children knew it from birth. I am not sure your son needed to know that his birthmother "ran off" with a man and left him (probably horrified him), even though she did. How could you expect him to be okay processing his new reality?</p><p></p><p>You should have told him always, but you didnt. The best thing you can do for him now is to get him into intensive therapy. Sorry to sound harsh, but it is troubling that you didnt know he would need tons of therapy to handle this shock. Seriously...get him help NOW or his future could be very bleak. How would you have felt if you had suddenly found this out about yourself? Not good, I would bet. Not if you found out after these years that you are adopted and that your birth mother wanted so little to do with you that she ran off with a man to Brazil. How would that make you feel? And you are older than this boy.</p><p></p><p>You can punish him to the stars and it wont erase his trauma. Yes, trauma. Have compassion and tell him you understand and are sorry you waited to tell him and support him as he tries to find his balance again. Any kid would act out after having his world turned upside down like this. As would even an adult. Get him help. ASAP. Did you legally adopt him at least? How old is your son now?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 723112, member: 1550"] Absolutely yes, but not for Conduct Disorder! Do you realize that by not telling him about his true history until now you just destroyed his reality, his security and his sense of who he is??? All three of my adopted children knew it from birth. I am not sure your son needed to know that his birthmother "ran off" with a man and left him (probably horrified him), even though she did. How could you expect him to be okay processing his new reality? You should have told him always, but you didnt. The best thing you can do for him now is to get him into intensive therapy. Sorry to sound harsh, but it is troubling that you didnt know he would need tons of therapy to handle this shock. Seriously...get him help NOW or his future could be very bleak. How would you have felt if you had suddenly found this out about yourself? Not good, I would bet. Not if you found out after these years that you are adopted and that your birth mother wanted so little to do with you that she ran off with a man to Brazil. How would that make you feel? And you are older than this boy. You can punish him to the stars and it wont erase his trauma. Yes, trauma. Have compassion and tell him you understand and are sorry you waited to tell him and support him as he tries to find his balance again. Any kid would act out after having his world turned upside down like this. As would even an adult. Get him help. ASAP. Did you legally adopt him at least? How old is your son now? [/QUOTE]
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I don't believe our son has CD
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