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I Don't Even Know What to Say...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 669904" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Mud and welcome,</p><p></p><p>Not all Christians respond like the ones you mention. A lot of people just can't fathom what we go through and what we have been through and they speak out of that complete lack of knowledge. You would hope they would be able to listen---even if they can't understand---and have compassion, but I guess it's too threatening for some people. Maybe it's like when you get divorced and all of a sudden, people start shying away...well...you know it might be contagious! : )</p><p></p><p>We so understand here because we have walked the same path. The details are usually a little different, but the themes and underlying issues are the same.</p><p></p><p>At some point...most of us are completely sick and tired of living the lives we are living, loving someone so much who seems bent on complete destruction. At some point, like Al-Anon says, we have to get off the merry-go-round. We have to, because if we don't, we will completely lose our own selves. And as much as we love our adult children, we learn to love ourselves just a tiny bit more...I call it the 51%/49% rule that I finally began to live into.</p><p></p><p>Many times, in God's time/our Higher Power's time/the Universe's time, if we can step back and stay back, at some point our DCs have a chance to start to change and turn their lives around. It doesn't happen when and how we want it to, but there is a space where change can happen. When we are so involved with them, there is no space for change to occur---why would it, when we are taking care of every little thing?</p><p></p><p>We are glad you are here. Whenever you are ready to share, we are ready to listen. Welcome and warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 669904, member: 17542"] Hi Mud and welcome, Not all Christians respond like the ones you mention. A lot of people just can't fathom what we go through and what we have been through and they speak out of that complete lack of knowledge. You would hope they would be able to listen---even if they can't understand---and have compassion, but I guess it's too threatening for some people. Maybe it's like when you get divorced and all of a sudden, people start shying away...well...you know it might be contagious! : ) We so understand here because we have walked the same path. The details are usually a little different, but the themes and underlying issues are the same. At some point...most of us are completely sick and tired of living the lives we are living, loving someone so much who seems bent on complete destruction. At some point, like Al-Anon says, we have to get off the merry-go-round. We have to, because if we don't, we will completely lose our own selves. And as much as we love our adult children, we learn to love ourselves just a tiny bit more...I call it the 51%/49% rule that I finally began to live into. Many times, in God's time/our Higher Power's time/the Universe's time, if we can step back and stay back, at some point our DCs have a chance to start to change and turn their lives around. It doesn't happen when and how we want it to, but there is a space where change can happen. When we are so involved with them, there is no space for change to occur---why would it, when we are taking care of every little thing? We are glad you are here. Whenever you are ready to share, we are ready to listen. Welcome and warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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