I Don't Know What to Think

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've been out of school a couple of weeks. Travis hasn't been working much because his boss hired another employee, and yet another employee who has senority over him wants the boy's job. Nichole's been hanging out more and more at home.

    This has been Nichole's first week back in school. It falls on boyfriend to be her transport as he's managed to sabotage every effort she's made to get her license ect. Sunday night boyfriend didn't work. Monday morning she calls to wake him up to take her to school. She calls for a hour. Upset and frustrated beyond belief she wakes me up, begs me to run her over there so she can wake him up. Figuring if I don't because of my rule, but take her to school instead will start an unwanted trend, I run her over there. She barely made it to school on time and got the baby to daycare.

    There is fallout but I didn't have to listen to any of it. Suits. lol

    Rest of the week went pretty well. Nichole stunned me by coming home instead of hanging at boyfriend's. (past problem) And by doing her homework / studying as soon as the baby was down for the night. She's also been volunteering to do some housework. :surprise: And gave me 10.00 for taking her to boyfriend's.

    The over the past 4-6 wks has been Nichole wanting to spend time with me. Me. lol Rarely does she stay camped at boyfriend's til 11pm. Instead she's here wanting to watch movies together and such. Often we sit outside in the evenings with Aubrey so she can play.

    This week she organized for the family to visit mother in law. Her idea.

    I know that sounds odd. But for some unusual reason, although my girls adore their grandmother, they normally don't think they can visit her without me. I don't get it, even when they try to explain it. lol (maybe because we've always visited her as a family??)

    Nichole's moods are stabilizing. She is paying much better attention to what she's eating. The old "drama" behavior I used to see with boyfriend is gone. I wish his would go away too, but it's gotten worse. ugh She deals with him in a much more mature manner. Not all the way there yet, but the change is huge and consistant.

    I was proud of her this week.

    boyfriend relies on Nichole as an alarm clock, and has for 4 yrs. And God help her if she can't wake him up. And when he does wake up he's vicious to her. No win situation. I've told her until I'm breathless that she's not doing him any favors by playing alarm clock. At 22 he is more than capable of getting up on time. She and her brother managed from the time they were in Jr High.

    Last friday they had to take Aubrey to children's hospital in Dayton to see an MD eye doctor for eye surgery. She has malformed tear ducts that keep getting infected and may also be causing the ear infections due to improper drainage. This appointment was a huge deal. Nichole starts calling boyfriend 2 hours early to wake him up. She was going to do it an hour later til I talked to her. She carries on an argument, is screaming his name over and over and he just won't wake up. He mummbled nonsense in his sleep.
    With only a 15 min window left she begs me to take her over there. But I didn't have a car. husband had taken it cuz he'd hit a deer on his way to work. So I paid cab fare. She managed to get him up and they got there on time. AND she made him pay me back for the cab.

    Soooo. boyfriend is also in summer classes. Nichole got out today at noon. boyfriend leaves at 2pm. She attempts to wake him Same old song and dance. Since Aubrey is napping............She goes for a LONG walk. Needless to say boyfriend didn't get up and missed class.


    Nichole is going to have to see for herself that while she is maturing and changing, boyfriend is getting worse. I hope she does, but it's not something I can force her to see.

    But I do like the changes I see in her.

    She told me this evening that Aubrey was the best thing to have ever happened to her. That without Aubrey, she would've have probably wound up in jail for hurting someone, flunked or been thrown out of school. Aubrey made her want to change her life.

    Aubrey. NOT boyfriend.

    If you only knew how huge that statement was! :surprise:

    I am so proud. :bigsmile:
  2. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Great to hear a positive progress report.......keep up the good work!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    WOW! IT is a big statement when a young woman of Nichole's age says her baby, not her boyfriend caused her to make changes (for the good) in her life.

    It is good she wants to spend time with you instead of hanging out at boyfriend's until very late. I think that as young moms we start to see our own moms as people itis important to spend time with, to talk to as people (a really BIG change for most of us), and to learn from. I am glad Nichole is at this point!

    All in all, a great progress report. I hope boyfriend learns to make these changes in himself. but probably he will sense her growing up and away from him and get more clingy and demanding. Just the pattern that often happens (or that I see).

  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I love reading good posts! Sounds like Nichole is headed in the right direction. I'm so happy for all of you.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911





    Way To Go WARRIOR MOMS!!!!!!huge
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    What a great update!! Sigh...sometimes they actually grow up. :)

  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    YAY! Nichole!

    Gosh, I have to say - Nichole and boyfriend's relationship sound like mine and bio-dads. To the tee. I used to do that exact thing to BD! In fact, to this day, BD would probably pay me to be his alarm clock! He is still a complete mess.

    I also know that my child/difficult child tilted my world 180 degree. I owe so much personal growth to being a young mom.

    You deserve so much credit for being an amazing mom. You instilled in her the values and integrity of an excellent mom - and when the chips were down - she has fallen back on what she knew to be the truth.
  8. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Great Job Nichole! She really is doing good and you have every right to be proud of her.
  9. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    What an awesome time for Nichole. she has so much going on in her life and she is aware of everything good.

    Now, all she has to do is drop the responsibility of boyfriend. He needs to grow up and take care of himself.