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Substance Abuse
I don't know who I am anymore
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 706117" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I do not think we do our children any good to protect them from themselves, or shield them by denying the consequences of their behavior to us.</p><p></p><p>To me, you are handling the situation with your son exactly correctly.</p><p></p><p>Who created the consequence, that he is unwelcome unsupervised in your house? YOU? I don't think so....</p><p></p><p>You are calling a spade a spade. He knows this. He is the one who brings in his homees. He is the one who ransacks your things.</p><p></p><p>What he is doing, the drama queen, oh whoa is me, is manipulative and cruel. I might call him on it.</p><p></p><p><em>My attitudes and choices with respect to you and your presence are a direct consequence of your behavior towards me. And equally important, your behavior towards yourself. To me, you are not remembering the values with which you were raised. Until you do I will respond according to the behavior you do exhibit. If you do not like it, change or leave. Your choice.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>A good mother is not defined as having a sunny disposition and uniformly saying<em> yes</em> to all things. A good mother is one who offers comfort when she can and holds the line when she cannot.</p><p></p><p>Did your son depend upon you in his childhood only to feed him and to hold his hand and clean him up? No. He depended on you to tell him no, to lock the door, and to supervise him when he was playing on the street.</p><p></p><p>Your son is forgetting (conveniently) your true and proper role. It is entirely fair for you to remind yourself to take heart, and to tell him the reality of things, as appropriate... if you feel it is safe to do so.</p><p></p><p>He may be volatile and irresponsible so you may not want to voice the words. But you can think them.</p><p></p><p>Hats off to you. Give yourself praise. Not criticism and second-guessing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 706117, member: 18958"] I do not think we do our children any good to protect them from themselves, or shield them by denying the consequences of their behavior to us. To me, you are handling the situation with your son exactly correctly. Who created the consequence, that he is unwelcome unsupervised in your house? YOU? I don't think so.... You are calling a spade a spade. He knows this. He is the one who brings in his homees. He is the one who ransacks your things. What he is doing, the drama queen, oh whoa is me, is manipulative and cruel. I might call him on it. [I]My attitudes and choices with respect to you and your presence are a direct consequence of your behavior towards me. And equally important, your behavior towards yourself. To me, you are not remembering the values with which you were raised. Until you do I will respond according to the behavior you do exhibit. If you do not like it, change or leave. Your choice. [/I] A good mother is not defined as having a sunny disposition and uniformly saying[I] yes[/I] to all things. A good mother is one who offers comfort when she can and holds the line when she cannot. Did your son depend upon you in his childhood only to feed him and to hold his hand and clean him up? No. He depended on you to tell him no, to lock the door, and to supervise him when he was playing on the street. Your son is forgetting (conveniently) your true and proper role. It is entirely fair for you to remind yourself to take heart, and to tell him the reality of things, as appropriate... if you feel it is safe to do so. He may be volatile and irresponsible so you may not want to voice the words. But you can think them. Hats off to you. Give yourself praise. Not criticism and second-guessing. [/QUOTE]
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