I Don't Understand This Line Of Thinking

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, May 27, 2013.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    husband and difficult child were going to help easy child with some football practice today. I told the kids that their dad was putting fertilizer down on the guess, so they could all go up to elementary school to play. They would have alot more room there. difficult child announces the doesn't want to go and if they can't play here, he doesn't want to play. That part I'm not surprised about, but I tell you that because it goes into the next part of the story.

    Before husband puts the fertilizer down he was doing some yard work that was going to take a while. I had finished doing the things I wanted to do, so I told difficult child that if he wanted to grab his mitt, we could go out in the back yard and have a catch. This is the thinking I don't understand: he tells me no because we won't be able to play later. I replied that I wouldn't be able to play later anyway. He said that is he would rather not play at all because he can't play later.

    I don't get it. Why wouldn't he rather get to play than not?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    He already has the day "planned". Not necessarily your plan, and not necessarily communicated, but within himself, there is a "plan". And... playing catch didn't fit in with the "plan".
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    IC is exactly right. And, it has taken me almost 16 years to figure this one out. difficult child still does this. I have been trying to work with her on voicing her plan, so that I know when she wants to do things like going out to the barn so that we can discuss if her time frame works.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yep - IC nailed it: the internal (eternal, infernal) PLAN.

    The plan inside their heads that somehow YOU should know....that EVRYONE should know...even though they don't think to express it. And when you mess with the PLAN? Oh Heaven help you!

  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Can you tell that we are all certified board members... and all speak in the language of Warrior Parents?
    It doesn't seem to matter the "flavor" of difficult child... some things are just COMMON. (unfortunately...)
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Apparently, you're partially right. He doesn't want to catch. He wants to hit, which he can't do I our yard because it's not big enough. So, husband told him that if he wanted, he could bring his baseball gear to the school when he goes with easy child and they can do both football and baseball. That made his smile!! So, after easy child and husband ate some lunch they all gathered up ther equipment and went to play ball, leaving me here alone to peel and slice potatoes in peace.

    Hopefully, everyone will return in as good a mood as when they left.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good job, Warrior Mom.
    Enjoy your peace and quiet while it lasts... you earned it.

    We can't always get them to communicate well enough to understand where the wrinkle is. But if we can find the wrinkle, it's amazing how often something can get ironed out.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Way To Go, wm! Ddd
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    husband said he was really well behaved at the field (of course he was! He got to do what he wanted to do) and he had a really good rest of the day. Even though we really didn't do anything different than what the plan was, he didn't realize that he would be able to bring his bat to the field and when we told him that he could it seemed to open up a new way of thinking for him.