I feel a little guilty...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    but I'm not going to visitation at the psychiatric hospital tonight. I'm so tired, still, from last night and I still feel those chairs under me. I can call difficult child tonight and I will do that. I'm also going down for 2 hours tomorrow afternoon and 3 hours on Sun. (Sunday we have a family meeting plus visitation.) I think since this is his 4th time in and he did push this with me, it's not going to hurt him to not see me tonight. It might be a good thing for us both.

    His therapist does group therapy down there sometimes and will be doing the session on Sunday. We spoke on the phone today and he said he'd pull difficult child aside to have a few mins to talk alone.

    The sw from the psychiatric hospital called and said since he was tdo'd they could let him out but asked if I wanted to keep him in voluntarily. I told her both difficult child and I want him to stay - they could also verify with him that he was there voluntarily at this point. She pushed me a little on this new medication, but I'm not so sure about it and I told her I needed to hear back from his psychiatrist before giving consent.

    The principal moved quickly today- I sent her email about difficult child being in psychiatric hospital and that I wish it could have been prevented by rec'g other supports and mentioned how concerned I was about his 19 days absent. We have an iep meeting scheduled now for Jan 7 and she has gotten the next higher up - middle school Special Education person- to attend. This is the person that always gets sent when I send a certified letter to director of Special Education for the sd. I'm going to try to take an advocate from PEATC with me.

    I hope everyone else had a peaceful day!
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I just sat down and was going to ask how you are doing? I agree you need to just take a night and relax, collect your thoughts.
    It is OK to have a moment for yourself. It has been so fast and furious for such a long time. Nothing but you and him, fighting to get some help for so long.
    You need a couple of hours to deflate.
    He will be OK.
    Even if he asks and you have to tell him that you just needed a moment for you to be OK. That might be all right, our kids understand so much.
    I hope he is doing OK and getting some help in there.
    You both need this.
  3. don't feel guilty (I know easier said than done), you do need tonight for yourself. You are going to be seeing him multiple times over the weekend. I felt the same way when difficult child went inpatient and when he went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) when I didn't go the first day. But you do need mom time too.

    Best wishes that everything goes well.

  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    You have the weekend set up with visiting him and your right it may due you both some good to have tonight. You need a break also, it's been a hectic few weeks for you. What was the medication afterall I didn't chk the other thread yet??

    Im glad the principal is finally doing something, good wording you used!!

    I hope your night is peaceful
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    klmno....is this the place we talked about?
    If so.....try to get my records....lol. I am dying to know what I was dxd with. Dont feel guilty about not going.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just got off the phone with difficult child- he sounds pretty good but is a bit cranky. I guess they got him up at the regular early hours instead of letting him sleep a little late. He seemed fine with me waiting until tomorrow to visit.

    The medication they want to try is Naltrexan (also known as revia, trexan, and nalorex). I think it's primarily used to treat drug addiction. He hasn't done drugs (they tested) but it's supposed to help control impulses to self-injure and stop any thrill or endorphin release from cutting or something like that. I'm not sure about it but the people at the psychiatric hospital apparently think it has helped a lot of kids. difficult child and I talked about it tonight. He wants me to hurry and consent because he said the psychiatrist told him if all goes well, he can come home Mon or Tues.

    I told difficult child I have to make decisions based on what I think is in his best interest- not on just how quick he can come home. This is going to be a rough family meeting on Sun. Of course, it's not so easy to demand anything when it boils down to how much my insurance will pay for. But, it will be one more place it gets documented, I guess.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, Janet!! You snuck in on me! Yes- same place- difficult child is probably leaning against the same walls! I don't know about finding your diagnosis though LOL!!

    I don't know what it was like for you, but I've always liked the nursing staff and think they are well-trained for working with these kids. difficult child first went in spring of 2006 then went in spring of this year and several people remembered him even after 2 years!! It only takes acute situations so they see a lot of kids- unfortunately, a lot of them are the same ones over and over.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Take the time for you, and relax a little. Hope your meeting Sunday goes well.
  9. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    I just figured out your difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital. Hugs to you, I'm sure you are exhausted mentally and physically.

    I hope everything goes well for you on Sunday and I'm offering you support and prayers. I am so sorry.
  10. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm really glad you are taking care of yourself this evening. I apologize for being a little out of touch with what has been going on the past couple of weeks. I am saying a special prayer for you and difficult child right now. Love, ML
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I don't know anything about this medication? But let us know how it goes if you decide to use it.
    You are a great advocate. It sounds like this place is looking out for him and trying hard too stabilize him?
    I hope the weekend goes smooth.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you everyone! It seems harder to get him back to stability the older he gets. I don't know if it's because medications are less effective, he's more mobile and has access to things that keep him hyped up and irratible more, or if he's just trying less. That scares me though because he's only about to turn 14 yo.
  13. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    FWIW, my son at 13 and 14 was a lot worse than he is at 15. But it did take 6 weeks in day treatment to get his medications straightened out. Although we're still struggling with the school situation, at home he is easy to live with -- finally!

    I'm hoping this psychiatric hospital stay will bring about positive change.