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Parent Emeritus
I feel like Im dying inside!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 657250" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'm so sorry. I know how difficult this is. Do you have any kind of support system in place -- a therapist, a NAMI support group? Ifnot, I urge you to get involved with one to help you through this.</p><p></p><p>I will tell you what my own therapist said to me, when things were at their worst with my youngest in particular. She said, "you are in an abusive relationship -- with your daughter." It was like a slap in the face, hearing that, but it was absolutely true. Why was I putting up with such treatment?! I began working then and there to build stronger boundaries, and to ditch the guilt she was trying to dump on me. I had to get angry about it, angry at HER (i.e., "how dare she treat me like this!"), instead of sad and self-deprecating (had to ditch the "what did I do to deserve this!).. and that started pushing me through.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like you're in a similar situation. Your daughter is an adult. You owe her nothing. She owes you everything. You don't have to explain any of your reasons to her, or justify your behavior, even if she asks. Get mad!</p><p></p><p>It's tough to break out of an abusive relationship of any kind - but when it's your child doing this to you - it's not like you can divorce them. It's painful and difficult. You do, however, need support to get through it - someone who can remain impartial and help you set up some goals to detach yourself from the situation.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 657250, member: 1157"] I'm so sorry. I know how difficult this is. Do you have any kind of support system in place -- a therapist, a NAMI support group? Ifnot, I urge you to get involved with one to help you through this. I will tell you what my own therapist said to me, when things were at their worst with my youngest in particular. She said, "you are in an abusive relationship -- with your daughter." It was like a slap in the face, hearing that, but it was absolutely true. Why was I putting up with such treatment?! I began working then and there to build stronger boundaries, and to ditch the guilt she was trying to dump on me. I had to get angry about it, angry at HER (i.e., "how dare she treat me like this!"), instead of sad and self-deprecating (had to ditch the "what did I do to deserve this!).. and that started pushing me through. Sounds like you're in a similar situation. Your daughter is an adult. You owe her nothing. She owes you everything. You don't have to explain any of your reasons to her, or justify your behavior, even if she asks. Get mad! It's tough to break out of an abusive relationship of any kind - but when it's your child doing this to you - it's not like you can divorce them. It's painful and difficult. You do, however, need support to get through it - someone who can remain impartial and help you set up some goals to detach yourself from the situation. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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I feel like Im dying inside!!!
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