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Parent Emeritus
I feel like the worst mother ever
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 683305" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Lindalou,</p><p></p><p>What your son is dealing with is not of your making. I hope that, deep down at some rudimentary level, you <strong>know</strong> that. That is crucial--that you get that. Because, it is NOT.</p><p></p><p>My firstborn (almost 35yo) is a Difficult Child. He still is not catching on how to navigate life. He is <em>always the victim.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>His dad and I finally (and it was most difficult until I found this forum) set him free about three years ago. Son's choices have not improved, but his dad and I have enjoyed life so much more.</p><p></p><p>As of the last couple months, my 80yo+ parents have been enabling Difficult Child. So, life has gotten a bit more complicated. I am seeing my parents less until this blows over. I cannot afford to get sucked back into that vortex. </p><p></p><p>My BiPolar (BP) is much lower when Difficult Child's happenings are not on my radar.</p><p></p><p>Your son is going to do what your son is going to do. The cocoon story is wonderful. It is past time for you to step aside and let your son make his way.</p><p></p><p>How do I feel qualified to say that?</p><p></p><p>My son was 32yo when I found this forum. Believe me, husband and I were struggling. We felt so much guilt. Now, I look back and think <em><strong>WHAAAATTTT?</strong></em></p><p><em><strong></strong></em></p><p>It will become much clearer to you a few weeks from now and you will feel peace that you cannot imagine where you are today.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 683305, member: 17635"] Lindalou, What your son is dealing with is not of your making. I hope that, deep down at some rudimentary level, you [B]know[/B] that. That is crucial--that you get that. Because, it is NOT. My firstborn (almost 35yo) is a Difficult Child. He still is not catching on how to navigate life. He is [I]always the victim. [/I] His dad and I finally (and it was most difficult until I found this forum) set him free about three years ago. Son's choices have not improved, but his dad and I have enjoyed life so much more. As of the last couple months, my 80yo+ parents have been enabling Difficult Child. So, life has gotten a bit more complicated. I am seeing my parents less until this blows over. I cannot afford to get sucked back into that vortex. My BiPolar (BP) is much lower when Difficult Child's happenings are not on my radar. Your son is going to do what your son is going to do. The cocoon story is wonderful. It is past time for you to step aside and let your son make his way. How do I feel qualified to say that? My son was 32yo when I found this forum. Believe me, husband and I were struggling. We felt so much guilt. Now, I look back and think [I][B]WHAAAATTTT? [/B][/I] It will become much clearer to you a few weeks from now and you will feel peace that you cannot imagine where you are today. Hugs, SS [/QUOTE]
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