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I feel no love for him - how can that be...
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 717547" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome! </p><p>Your feelings towards your son are very normal. I too have been there with my son, the lack of feeling anything for him. I think some of this is due to trauma, it's like being in shock where you do not feel the pain. I love my son but do not like him at all. There is nothing to like about someone who like your son has tormented you. My son has screamed so many hateful ugly things to me so I truly understand how you feel.</p><p></p><p>You have mentioned how much your son is like is bio-father. There is so much to that. My son is exactly like his bio-father and yet he was out of the picture when my son was very young. The whole nature -vs- nurture thing. I truly believe in my sons case nature trumped nurture. </p><p></p><p>Don't be so hard on yourself about the feelings or lack there of that you have. It takes time to process all that you have been through. Now is the time for you to heal, to take your life back. What are you doing to take care of YOU? It's okay to take time for yourself, it's a healthy thing to do.</p><p></p><p>I have no doubt that your son will continue to try and bring you down. My son has done the same thing to me many times over the years. </p><p></p><p>There is so much truth in this! Do your very best to not let your son see that his behavior bothers you. That's what he wants. He wants to know that he can get under your skin. As parent of difficult adult children we have to develop very thick skin. Love the suggestion of having positive quotes at the ready to fire off. Good stuff!</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Niki. I'm glad you are here with us.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 717547, member: 18516"] Welcome! Your feelings towards your son are very normal. I too have been there with my son, the lack of feeling anything for him. I think some of this is due to trauma, it's like being in shock where you do not feel the pain. I love my son but do not like him at all. There is nothing to like about someone who like your son has tormented you. My son has screamed so many hateful ugly things to me so I truly understand how you feel. You have mentioned how much your son is like is bio-father. There is so much to that. My son is exactly like his bio-father and yet he was out of the picture when my son was very young. The whole nature -vs- nurture thing. I truly believe in my sons case nature trumped nurture. Don't be so hard on yourself about the feelings or lack there of that you have. It takes time to process all that you have been through. Now is the time for you to heal, to take your life back. What are you doing to take care of YOU? It's okay to take time for yourself, it's a healthy thing to do. I have no doubt that your son will continue to try and bring you down. My son has done the same thing to me many times over the years. There is so much truth in this! Do your very best to not let your son see that his behavior bothers you. That's what he wants. He wants to know that he can get under your skin. As parent of difficult adult children we have to develop very thick skin. Love the suggestion of having positive quotes at the ready to fire off. Good stuff! Hang in there Niki. I'm glad you are here with us. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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