Hi Everyone, Sorry I've been gone for a few weeks. I've been trying to pretend I have a normal life with normal kids. It's not working. Tomorrow, my daughter is performing and Friday as well for the end of her Summer Intensive (Fine Arts Academy). I hope she does well. Parents are never allowed into classes or even a peek so I have no idea how she's held up the past 6 weeks. I have been very present in taking her and hanging out during her breaks even though I could have been at home so that she would have a "touch stone" available. Her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) seems to be relatively in check but I hope she's not hiding things from me. We never know. Her therapists say I'm the glue thatn holds her together. It's exhausting though. I love her so much but the poor little creature turns into a complete mess and then even into a little monster eventually when I'm working. It gets bad during the school year. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I feel selfish because I haven't been there for my husband like I should. I have been totally giving into my bad habits to "get through the day". I work out more than necessary, spend a lot of time alone, only go out with the ladies a couple of times a month, and spend time organizing things in the house, etc. but I haven't spent enough time with him lately. We spend time on the weekends together but it could be more. I'm so lucky to have him but I've been busy trying to hide my sadness from him. I don't think he's aware of how much I'm still distraught over what happened with our son. I also avoid family gatherings still and visiting relatives which affects him too because then he doesn't go either. I simply can't face people questioning us nor the "big white elephant" feeling in the room that is always there when we're around. I'm so tired of feeling judged. Sorry for dumping on y'all. I don't have anyone to talk to about this in person.