Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I feel to blame
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 726761" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>I'm very sorry others joined in your son's blame. I haven't been confronted directly, but I know well what my son's ever-changing group of peers, girlfriends and enabling adults must think. After all, they've been listening to my son's "greatest hits" as my H calls them, on repeat.</p><p></p><p>It pains me to think about you second guessing yourself and internalizing the blame. I've gone through that myself, I think we all have, and it feels awful.</p><p></p><p>Sooner or later, many of us arrived at the realization that detachment was required, to give our adult children a chance to do something differently (whether they took it up or not,) and to save our hearts, and sometimes our finances and health, from irreparable harm.</p><p></p><p>But I think we have to arrive at that realization, and make the hard decisions, at a pace we are comfortable with. It helps to come on the board to find strength and perspective and support, but at the end of the day, you have to be at peace with whatever steps you take. They shouldn't be motivated by cheerleading, or anger, fear or a broken heart, but by what your son's situation requires. And of course, none of us can see the future, so it's just our best guess, like it's always been with every parent and child through the ages.</p><p></p><p>That said, you came on to the boards for a reason. Maybe it would be helpful to inventory 2017, like a couple other posters have done, to remind yourself why. </p><p></p><p>It absolutely goes against a parents instinct to let their kid be homeless, or to let them spend Christmas alone, so the second guessing is very understandable. </p><p></p><p>But there's a reason that you did. Many, many horrible reasons. He doesn't tell his comrades about them because he needs to be emotionally enabled.</p><p></p><p>This isn't about you. We all know that. Even your son knows it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 726761, member: 19290"] I'm very sorry others joined in your son's blame. I haven't been confronted directly, but I know well what my son's ever-changing group of peers, girlfriends and enabling adults must think. After all, they've been listening to my son's "greatest hits" as my H calls them, on repeat. It pains me to think about you second guessing yourself and internalizing the blame. I've gone through that myself, I think we all have, and it feels awful. Sooner or later, many of us arrived at the realization that detachment was required, to give our adult children a chance to do something differently (whether they took it up or not,) and to save our hearts, and sometimes our finances and health, from irreparable harm. But I think we have to arrive at that realization, and make the hard decisions, at a pace we are comfortable with. It helps to come on the board to find strength and perspective and support, but at the end of the day, you have to be at peace with whatever steps you take. They shouldn't be motivated by cheerleading, or anger, fear or a broken heart, but by what your son's situation requires. And of course, none of us can see the future, so it's just our best guess, like it's always been with every parent and child through the ages. That said, you came on to the boards for a reason. Maybe it would be helpful to inventory 2017, like a couple other posters have done, to remind yourself why. It absolutely goes against a parents instinct to let their kid be homeless, or to let them spend Christmas alone, so the second guessing is very understandable. But there's a reason that you did. Many, many horrible reasons. He doesn't tell his comrades about them because he needs to be emotionally enabled. This isn't about you. We all know that. Even your son knows it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I feel to blame
Top