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Substance Abuse
I Feel Very Very Sad Today
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 748792" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi and Welcome Back! I am sorry that you have been struggling all this time. I have been here for a long time, too. I don't check in as often these days as we are some of the blessed ones. </p><p></p><p>Your son isn't a teen. He is an adult and is fully capable of supporting himself and finding his own place to live. It is time to work to focus on your own life and not his. Sure, that might be easy to say. It is super hard to do though! Forgive yourself for not being able to help him, or for being too soft, tough, nice, mean, inconsistent, overly consistent with him. NONE of this is your fault. You never woke up and asked yourself what you could do that would hurt your kid the most that day. HE made these choices. Often the ONLY way an addict gets help is that they get sick and tired of being addicted. Until then, no one can help him. All you can really do is to work to make your own life as happy as possible. Remember, no one (not even the Founding Fathers), promised us happiness. All we are promised is the pursuit of happiness. It is time you stopped working so hard to support an overgrown manchild and pursued your own personal happiness. Haven't you earned it?</p><p></p><p>Letting go is so dang hard. Often it is the only salvation though. For all parties! If you don't go to Al-Anon, I recommend it. It can be a huge help in understanding your own thinking. You don't go there to help your kid, you go there to help understand yourself in this drinking/drugging dynamic.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you found your way back here too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 748792, member: 1233"] Hi and Welcome Back! I am sorry that you have been struggling all this time. I have been here for a long time, too. I don't check in as often these days as we are some of the blessed ones. Your son isn't a teen. He is an adult and is fully capable of supporting himself and finding his own place to live. It is time to work to focus on your own life and not his. Sure, that might be easy to say. It is super hard to do though! Forgive yourself for not being able to help him, or for being too soft, tough, nice, mean, inconsistent, overly consistent with him. NONE of this is your fault. You never woke up and asked yourself what you could do that would hurt your kid the most that day. HE made these choices. Often the ONLY way an addict gets help is that they get sick and tired of being addicted. Until then, no one can help him. All you can really do is to work to make your own life as happy as possible. Remember, no one (not even the Founding Fathers), promised us happiness. All we are promised is the pursuit of happiness. It is time you stopped working so hard to support an overgrown manchild and pursued your own personal happiness. Haven't you earned it? Letting go is so dang hard. Often it is the only salvation though. For all parties! If you don't go to Al-Anon, I recommend it. It can be a huge help in understanding your own thinking. You don't go there to help your kid, you go there to help understand yourself in this drinking/drugging dynamic. I am glad you found your way back here too! [/QUOTE]
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I Feel Very Very Sad Today
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