I filed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Jan 8, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    a request for a hearing (trying to make it an emergency hearing) to get the county team on board and get difficult child releeased from probation so I can have access to more services for him. He couldn't get accepted to the study because of probation, I won't be able to get a mental health cm with him on probation, and I can't go the route of temporary parental placement with him on probation, so thiss is a real hindrance. I figure the po is there to make sure difficult child complies with court rulings so if he has a whole county team involved, they can verify what he's doing as well as she can. She never even returned my call from 2 weeks ago answering my question about could he get put back on a monitor if necessary as a preventative measure because he's still not stable.

    Anyway, he crashed about 5:00 and will probably be out until tomorrow am- except for waking to take medications and maybe eat. Let's hope this doesn't keep him up all night tonight. He was up all last night and still went to school today. I ordered chinese because I haven't made it to the store this week. I didn't realize how much the price of chinese had gone up- we'll be making this last 2 days.

    I hate the thought of having to go to court again and really hope I've done the right thing and pray that the judge won't revoke difficult child's suspension. But this is a whole lot better than PO initiating a hearing with a recommendation to have probation and suspension revoked. I figure it's the best shot because I initiated it, saying he is not stable and I need to get him more services, and I can go in saying that he has not gotten arrested or been a problem at school. He just needs more services to prevent it. And I need more services to still be able to take care of him.

    Really- he's right on that line of needing to be in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My thought on that changes as quick as his moods. I guess it would depend on a lot of things and I need to get more answers about his specific chances at various things. But, I do think that the county team is the way to go, given that the only other options (sd and medicaid waiver) could take forever, or at least another month and right now that seems like forever and my finances won't last that long..
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive thoughts and prayers. You really are having a crash course in "Warrior Mom 101". Good luck. DDD
  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Just wanted to send some support and wish you luck. (((HUGS))) :)
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs. I hope you can get a hearing date quickly.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks! difficult child woke barely enough to take medications but was saying something about closing doors to shelves, LOL!

    He told me again before he went to sleep that his PE teacher made more comments to him today about getting in gear, getting his head together, not missing anymore classes, etc. I'd had enough. I emailed his cm and asked if someone could talk to that teacher (she is making those comments in front of other students, too.) Anyway, I asked if someone could explain to her that this is an illness, not a choice.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    hey i'm glad that this is happening i'm hopeful for you. Do you feel good getting the ball going now? I bet, along with apprehension i'm sure. Trust your gut with this. It sounds good and that po has gotta go. ugh!

    I"m glad to hear that he's talking to you also. I know what you mean now more than ever and found myself thinking of you today at work because i was learning about this stuff, etc. It's a hard choice and i bet it does change according to his moods and what's going on. if you didn't care so much you wouldn't be flip flopping and working so hard like you are. your a warrior mom bigtime!!

    As far as teacher goes, ugh is all i gotta' say i've been talking the talk for years now some just dont' get it. it's like a brick wall. Brick wall your head their just too narrow minded to enter the grey of our world.

  7. ML

    ML Guest

    This sounds like the best direction to take at this juncture. I will be praying that the judge will see that difficult child needs help and not punishment. Hopefully he/she will have compassion and make the right call. It's about time you and difficult child caught a break. Thinking of you. Love, ML
  8. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When I was fighting the ED vs. OHI battle for Youngest, I distributed a pamphlet from the CABF called "educating the bipolar child" to all the teachers. You might pull that off their website (assuming it's still there) and make sure it's delivered to teh PE teacher. If you can't find it, I have a copy in my biga** file (whichI just dug into last night, that's why the name is fresh in my memory). Let me know and I can email you a pdf.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you, Ladies! I have the brochure you mentioned, Crazy! Someone from the board sent some great stuff, including that, a year or so ago.

    I noticed that even though the school's bylaws and policies define ED the exact same as IDEA, they also put out info with a list of "definitions" and in that list, ED is defined diferently- it is pretty much defined as a behavior problem. I found that interesting.

    I've always wondered though, why schizophrenia(sp) is ED and not OHI. Isn't it a chemical imbalance requiring medications? To me, any chemical imbalance in the brain would be a health problem, the same as a chemical imbalance in any other part of the body (diabetes, for instance).

    I just soooooo hope that I don't end up with a team of people trying to control ervy aspect of my life and making more demands on me. I can't meet the demands I already have in my life.
  10. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I didn't find the FAPT team to be full of demands, really. I will say that their recommendations sometimes meant more paperwork for me to complete, more people for me to contact ... but I was prepared for that. But demands as far as things I had to change in my life? No. If anything, they were a huge support to me... kept telling me how they wished all parents cared as much about their kids as I did, and acknowledged the effort I was making to get my child the services she needed. That's an overwhelming theme I found in many of the agencies.. they are generally appreciative of dealing with a parent who CARES, is involved, and is an advocate for their child.. instead of the parent that simply wants to dump their child on the system and say "ok, your problem now." There are so many of those, it's very sad.

    One thing my county Special Education friend told me yesterday was that "it's going to get worse" as far as fighting for services. Budget cuts are everywhere,and the system is already strapped for cash and overloaded with clients. But, that doesn't mean your child is any less entitled to his piece of the funding pie.. it just means you may have to fight harder for it. The fact that you are a vocal and caring parent, is in your favor (again, vs. the "dumpers.") I can't say it enough, you're doing a great job.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Your support has really helped me, Crazymom- I can't tell you enough how much it means to me to have your help and the help from others on the board. I watched tv about 15mins before going to sleep last night and it was about the economy. It did make me feel better that I went ahead and filed- if I had waited another few months, it probably would have been harder to get this far.

    My paranoia about how they are going to treat me comes from those who were in our lives last year, I'm sure. I hope I get different attitudes this time but really, I would still try to proceed with trying to make the best decisions for difficult child, even though it's such a pain sometimes.

    When it drives me over the edge is when it isn't only a pain, it's that someone is over-riding my decision with an "order" to do something that I KNOW is not in his best interest, or will only make our situation worse, or it might solve one problem but it will cause 10 bigger ones. That's when I feel like exploding or giving up. Or when it's just simply in the way of me getting him real help.

    Anyway- they also said on tv last night that now the porn industry is asking for a bail-out. I couldn't believe it- why not bail-out the mental health care?
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Saying prayers it all goes well. I wish they could understand everything you have tried. Hugs.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I've got my fingers crossed for you, both for the hearing and that they do the right thing, and not get too messed up on your life. Nobody needs that struggle.
    Good luck!