I finally did it, but Bart is fuming and blocked me.

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Whew.

So he called me tonight and basically said he was stressed and I needed to talk him down. This is a common request. In short, his attorney, for reasons of his fathers nasty phone calls to the attorney and Bart himself, said he was dropping him but Bart called back and thinks he can save the dump. But he isnt sure about it and the lawyer hasnt called him back yet (and maybe he wont) and he wanted me to soothe him.

And of course nothing I say does soothe him so this time I told him first off that I couldn't hear him. He has terrible cell phone coverage in his house. In the area. Half the time he is incoherant due to his cell phone giving out bad loud static.

But see Im not allowed to tell him I cant hear him. Even when I cant. Then he yells that he doesnt want me to say this...that I just have to do my best to hear him.

This time I repeated the truth. I could only hear static. Eventually i could hear him demanding that he is so stressed and I had to talk him down. Whatever that means. I never seem to do it right.

I told him I would listen to him vent but not try to talk him down because everything i say stresses him out. I NEVER say I wont but this time I told him that I cant do it.

He hung up.

I had it.

I felt like I had to belatedly set boundaries with him. I called my other three kids to gently inform them that from now on my phone goes off at 6 pm until I wake up so that Hub and me could spend that time together quietly and alone. If an emergency came up i told them to call Hub and he would get me.

My two girls caught on. "Oh, he is bothering you at night now, right?"

Sonic just said "No problem."

I then sent a long text to Bart. I told him I loved him to the moon (I tell my kids this and in this way) and was glad to listen to him but that listening seemed to be the best I could do. I told him he has to allow me to express myself and that yelling and swearing at me streses ME out...I am now 65 and want respect and calm. I told him he could call me mornings, that the rest of the day I am very busy so the phone is hit or miss and II repeated that nights are for my marriage relationship only. I told him I loved him (again...kept interspersing this) but we need a mutually respectful relationship.

So then I sent it and he called and called. I could feel the anger in the ringtone. I am positive it was an abusive call so I didnt answer it. I texted that this is night and to please please call in the morning.

That infuriated him. He texted me to never text him again especially this type of garbage...he is too stressed...and that he is blocking me.

I texted before he blocked me that I loved him and he must do what he feels is right. Then I shut down my phone for a long time and talked to Hub about it. My hub is not his fan. Hub is a calm rock of a man. He held me as we watched a movie.

I should be devestated that IIwas blocked, but Im not. I didnt and wouldnt cut off my own kid. I simply set boundaries and left contact up to him. But for once it is on my terms. No abuse. No more. Not happening. He is the only person left in my life who is abusive. It stops now. Tonight.

I wonder why so many people thought I was an easy mark for abuse and i actually feel it is because I put up with it. My Mom, Sis, Bart....I got bullied in school as a kid too. Just an easy mark for those eho bully others. Oh well. My fault for allowing it.

It feels good to finally say NO MORE. I wish I had done that to my Mom. My son is different. I will always love him just as I always loved my Dad, but, like my Dad, Bart is not capable of stepping into anybody else's shoes. If you lack empathy, you are often unkind and dont even realize it. My Dad and Bart...they both did/do think they are kind.

I am very grateful for my three loving kids and so glad they are not my DNA. This can recur in later generations as well as in Bart. Other normal seeming relatives carry this DNA. Ugh.

I am grateful and my life is still pretty great and I am still surrounded by loved ones and awesome friends. I still feel lucky....Bart has been like this since very young and was never really different...it is not new.

I am tired now but peaceful in my cozy house with the best husband ever and my pets and the knowledge that I have my kind kids and amazing granddaughter.

I may feel guilty later but I have a very busy weekend planned and the guilt will fade.

I do not really think I did anything wrong but it is easy to make me feel guilty. Thankfully I have another therapy appointment Tuesday. That always helps me put life in perspective :)

Love and light to all!
 
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BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I find myself awake tonight for the first time in a long time, talking to God and my divine loved ones. The middle of the night is so peaceful. My head clears. The world clears. I feel close to my angels and spirit guides. I try to hear their wisdom. I keep getting messages that I am here to help others but that every soul is on its its own path and that I cant force others to go any faster than they can. Oh, I know many of you dont believe in spirit guides and angels :) but I am here with mine. This, besides God, is how I find comfort and support. I need validation that I am doing right by Bart; by myself. I want to let him back in. He is my child. But I cant allow his abuse anymore. I wonder if he will call back and accept boundaries. He has done this before for bits of time.

Tomorrow is a busy day. The dog trainer. Love her! Lunch with friends! Jumper after work. Then a quiet night with my husband...my phone off.

For those of you who feel the comfort of God and angels and guides and our loved ones in spirit, do you also feel the Divine so strong at night? For others who sit with their own wisdom, is night more profound for you too? Dark and peaceful?

We are getting a small pellet stove and its cool out and I wish we already had it. Is anything more cozy than reading under a soft blanket near a fire? I cant wait. For now I have my dog who wandared out ti be wirh me.

I am going to watch a comedy on TV then go back into my room to cuddle wirh my husband and my other dogs.

I am muting my phone so that nobody wakes me up in the morning. I dont know if he will call me as if nothing happened tonight or not (he is prone to that) but I am not ready to talk to him about his case and how crappy his life is, knowing he will do nothing to make it better.

I need my coffee and the birds singing in the early morning. But he wakes me every day as he drives to work. If he was nice to ke, I would like his calls.

But not this morning. I want to stay with this feeling of peace today.

Love and light!
 
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Elsi

Well-Known Member
SWOT I am so glad you are setting your boundaries with him. It sounds exhausting to keep up with all of his needs and desires. And it is high time he learns that relationships and conversations are a two way street, even with parents. He wants to control both sides of the equation - what he says and how you respond. And that’s not fair. He only gets to control his side. He can’t control yours. If he doesn’t like that, I guess he can keep you blocked - and you can enjoy your peace!

I sometimes feel guilty because I don’t really want to talk to my difficult ones a lot of the time. I worry when they go silent, but it’s also a relief. They can rant for an hour or more, with me hardly saying a word, about what a moron their latest roommate was, how unfair their boss is, how much their life sucks, etc. I’m a sounding board for their anger and frustration. And it drains me. Afterwards, I feel like all that negativity is sticking to me like 50 pounds of wet cement. I just want to crawl under the bed and curl up in a ball.

I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but I don’t always answer their calls. Sometimes their number comes up on my phone and I just can’t. I know it will destroy me. So I let it go, maybe text back later and say hey I saw you called hope everything is alright.

This is why I’ve learned to stay very neutral in most of my conversations with them. It’s self preservation. If I know they don’t really want answers and my giving them will only make them angry, why try? So I just reflect back. Oh, that sounds tough. Sorry to hear that. And I get dumb. I’ve gotten so, so dumb as I’ve gotten older. Gee, I don’t know why he would have said that. Huh, I don’t know anything about that. I don’t know what you should do either let me know when you figure it out.

Because they don’t want answers from me. My answers enrage them. They just want to use me as a punching bag to vent their frustration. And they already know the answers anyway. When I articulate them, it’s just an opportunity for them to practice out loud all of the denials and excuses they are using in their own head. And I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to give them the opportunity to express it. So I stay dumb, and neutral.

It makes me sad, because it makes our relationships feel less authentic. It’s like I’m talking to a stranger on the bus. Oh dear, sorry for your luck, well this is my stop good luck to you. Occasionally, when I sense they are in a better place and more open, we have a conversation that is deep and meaningful and true. But more often than not, it’s stranger-on-the-bus.

I wonder why so many people thought I was an easy mark for abuse and i actually feel it is because I put up with it. My Mom, Sis, Bart....I got bullied in school as a kid too. Just an easy mark for those eho bully others. Oh well. My fault for allowing it.

I’ve asked myself this question also and I think uunderstanding the answers does help us set better boundaries with our difficult children. I know my boundary difficulties go back to childhood, to the assumption that if there was any conflict between me and someone else, it was probably my fault. I was smart enough to see I was different from my peers but not smart enough to figure out exactly how and what I was doing wrong. And my family was of the stoic school. So, getting bullied? Just stop being weird then. (Which directly translated, in my head, to getting beat up by your husband? Just stop making him angry then.) I always assumed everyone else had it together and understood all the social rules I was missing, so I needed to do what they told me to and mirror their behaviors as best as I could. I learned not to trust myself. I learned my needs and differences didn’t matter.

I’ve since learned everyone else didn’t have it as together as I assumed they did, that I wasnt as dumb or as weird as I thought, and some of my biggest differences are also some of my biggest strengths. And that it’s ok to be who I am, and to speak up for my own needs, and arrange my life and living situation around my preferences. It’s taken a lot of therapy, and a lot of deliberate study, to understand myself and others around me. But I’ve learned to trust myself finally.

And I’ve stopped thinking that my life is just meant to be always in service to others and never to myself. Including my children. No relationship is sustainable when it is entirely one way, and the other person takes and takes without ever giving back. Young children give back in love and giggles and dandelion bouquets. Developmentally disabled children and adults can give back in love and hugs and concern. It is not an impossible expectation that our children, no matter their current problems, should be able to give something back every once in a while, and express concern for us instead of just themselves. We do a disservice to both ourselves and to them if we don’t expect to be treated well.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
Oh SWOT, I'm so sorry it's come to this. But maybe it's time? Maybe he will finally learn that he has to show a little respect?

But see Im not allowed to tell him I cant hear him. Even when I cant. Then he yells that he doesnt want me to say this...that I just have to do my best to hear him.

This kind of thing is just nonsense! If you tell someone they have a terrible connection or the signal is bad and they're breaking up - they're supposed to go to a new spot and try again! I mean honestly! What on earth can you do if you can't hear? It's not YOUR fault he has a crappy signal!

(And now I'm going to tell you a secret trick a lot of our hearing officer's have used when people are being disruptive and you need to get control of a hearing. The best thing about cell phones is that they drop signals. And if the signal is bad and there's lots of static, they drop them more. The trick is making a person think it's the signal and NOT you hanging up. Hang up while YOU are talking, in the middle of a word...LOL - They'll never think you hung up while you are the one talking! Then you all get a few minutes to calm down. :p )

told him I loved him to the moon (I tell my kids this and in this way) and was glad to listen to him but that listening seemed to be the best I could do. I told him he has to allow me to express myself and that yelling and swearing at me streses ME out...I am now 65 and want respect and calm. I told him he could call me mornings, that the rest of the day I am very busy so the phone is hit or miss and II repeated that nights are for my marriage relationship only. I told him I loved him (again...kept interspersing this) but we need a mutually respectful relationship.

He texted me to never text him again especially this type of garbage

Garbage? Asking to be treated respectfully and not be sworn and screamed at is garbage?

Hun, I know that had to be awfully hard for you, but you have done the right thing. You're right. This is abuse. Verbal abuse is still abuse and you are right to no longer tolerate it from anyone, especially your own son who should treat you respectfully! You were much kinder than I would have been.

When our son was troubled we got in the habit of putting our phones on the kitchen counter at night when we went to bed. That way we wouldn't hear them in the middle of the night. It seemed really terrible to some of the people we told...what about emergencies? We said if it was a REAL emergency, he needed to call cops or fire dept. or ambulance - not us. If something terrible happened, well, we couldn't DO anything and if something terrible happened to him, we'd be informed by an officer ringing the doorbell. It was the only way we could get peace.

Bart won't block you forever. You left the door open after all and truthfully, who else will put up with him? He'll call and hopefully be a better person for this.

. I want to stay with this feeling of peace today.

I hope that you do. Today and always.
 

Tanya M

Living with an attitude of gratitude
Staff member
Hub is a calm rock of a man. He held me as we watched a movie.
:couple: I'm so happy you have such a wonderful, loving husband.

I simply set boundaries and left contact up to him. But for once it is on my terms. No abuse. No more. Not happening. He is the only person left in my life who is abusive. It stops now. Tonight.
Good job!! I know this may feel really wrong and awkward right now but you have to do what is best for your own sanity. Bart has become to comfortable with using you as his sounding/whipping post.

I do not really think I did anything wrong but it is easy to make me feel guilty. Thankfully I have another therapy appointment Tuesday. That always helps me put life in perspective
No, you did not do anything wrong! You set clear boundaries with him. I think it's very common for adult children to revert to child like behavior with their parents. Bart is simply having a temper tantrum. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about.

I need validation that I am doing right by Bart; by myself. I want to let him back in. He is my child. But I cant allow his abuse anymore. I wonder if he will call back and accept boundaries. He has done this before for bits of time.
I'm sure he will reach out to you. He may need a some time. If you don't hear from him there is nothing wrong with you reaching out to him.

For others who sit with their own wisdom, is night more profound for you too?
My time is early in the morning. I love the quiet of the house before my husband wakes. I do my yoga and then devote time to prayer. The quiet of the morning is my favorite time of day.

You are doing great SWOT!! You are living your life. EnJoy your weekend.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thsnks,Elsi. Thats how I feel. The past is the past and I did allow myself to be bullied. The fault was mine even though I am different too. But now is now. Im too old to let even a beloved adult child make it this hard to have a conversation. Yes, he has a tough road. Yes, its about HIS child who sees how he treats his own parents and could model it one day. But, no, as much as I believe he is suffering, this is not the worst problem or only one on tje planet.

My BFF had cancer for ten years before she succumbed to it, leaving behind seven children and a loving husband. Now anothen lifelong friend has a grandchild with possibly terminal cancer. He practically lives with her so he is like another child. The boy's mother, who I knew growing up, is being strong for her son, but spending three months at a time in a hospitsl isolation room while her four year old has chemo has to be on my list of the worst things ever.

Not to minimize Barts pain because it is real and awful, but he wont try to get help for it, depending only on me and his father instead of peers who also have gone through this or professionals and he wont try church. To him nothing will help. Obviously I cant either. Also kindness gets you far. I actually have good ideas and lots of people have always asked for my feedback (not sure why,) but my son discards anything I suggest as "I cant do it" or "it wont help me." I dont believe that nobody who works full time in St. Louis never goes to a doctor or sees a therapist. He claims he can't becsuse he works. And he says there are no services after work. Is that possible?

I am exhausted. I would love to help but he thinks the only thing that helps is talking to ME about his case and getting my pep talks and worse he believes a parent should emotionally support a child at any given time of day under any circumstance for as long as needed no matter how old he is. Sixty if the parents are still alive. So he has often incinuated that I have to put my life on hold, even if I am sitting in the vets waiting room with my dog. I should put the dog down and talk to him outside! This actually happened!

I have three considerate kids who also need me. I have the best husband. I have pets who I love like people. I have interests, friends, hobbies. I cant put them all on hold to talk to (and get yelled at) by my 40 year old son at his whim. My 22 year old daughter and my autistic son handle life!. My daughter works in Corrections and has had to hold a towel over a mans neck who tried to kill himself. She also saw a real suicide in jail. And she came to us sad, stressed and crying but she dealt with those horrors and likes her job. She is determined to finish four years of college to becone a detective. She rarely complains. My autistic son lives his life and is the kindest person i know and he is always apologetic if he asks for something, even a ride. Princess is very high strung. I have had to talk her down many times but she listens and lets me and never swears at me. She has a heart of gold. My granddaughter has her mothers heart! My rescue dog who had surgery lives with us and is a full time project. We love him so but Bart hates animals and doesnt understand an animal lover. To him a dog is not equal to a human. To me, a dog is just as important.
;
He doesnt know me, the person I am. He doesnt ever talk to me about me. Is is selfish of me to be bothered by this?

Anyhow I have a busy day and need to start it. On my kitchen wall I have a sign that says "But First Coffee."

Yep!

All of you have a great day! Thanks for listening!
 
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Lil

Well-Known Member
He claims he csnt becsuse he works. And he says there are no services after work. Is that possible?

No. It's not possible.

A quick Google search finds both urgent care and counseling offices open as late as 10 p.m. and family doctors with late appointments as well. Plus, I guarantee, he's entitled to sick leave.

He doesnt know me, the person I am. He doesnt ever talk to me about me. Is it selfish of me to be bothered by this?

Also NO. It is not.

You have a wonderful day. But first: :coffeedrinker:
 

Deni D

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
SWOT, sorry about your kitty. I have three of my own, one is older and not doing very well.

I had been where you are with my son, for what seemed like a very long time, but I suspect not nearly as long as you have. It’s just not right, sorry you have been having to deal with this for so long.

He doesnt know me, the person I am. He doesnt ever talk to me about me. Is is selfish of me to be bothered by this?
We had a pattern like you have, where I felt like my only use during conversations was to be an emotional punching bag. My son, like yours could at best be described as self-centered in my interactions with him. Nothing in my life was of any interest to him, not even a medical emergency. Back in the spring I went to the ER on a Friday night. They admitted me, I had emergency surgery for gall stones Saturday, then they took my gallbladder out Sunday. My son was annoyed that he couldn’t get me on the phone that weekend. My significant other called him after I had received his normal 10-20 phone blasts in a row without answering, to get him to stop so I could leave my phone on and not annoy my roommate. I forget what he wanted but I do remember not being at all surprised or even upset that he was not concerned for my wellbeing. That’s just how it is, right? It begs the question how do we get used to this stuff? And do we question ourselves about it being okay? I type as if my son is different now, he’s really not, but I do that to remind myself I’m not going back there no matter what he does.

I know my boundary difficulties go back to childhood, to the assumption that if there was any conflict between me and someone else, it was probably my fault. I was smart enough to see I was different from my peers but not smart enough to figure out exactly how and what I was doing wrong.
I too when I was younger couldn’t figure out the secret code. I only had one rule to go by, it was written above the black board in every classroom in my grammar school. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I thought that meant if someone was mean or inconsiderate then I should be nice to them so they would in turn be nice to me. Of course we all know how that worked out. I still have problems sometimes in this area, can’t really figure out how to turn things around with someone who’s hell bent to treat me with disdain. But I do know people who don’t take it are much quicker to deal with it so it doesn’t become as much of a problem.


I have a very strong feeling he’s going to ramp things up. Most likely he will have bigger crises and try to “prove” to you that by you setting limits you have caused them. What helped me during those times was to remember that my son couldn’t deal with everyone in his life the way he deals with me. He was capable of respecting people, he had to be, or he wouldn’t have a roof over his head or a job. Also I decided that by putting up with his bad behavior I was teaching him that it was okay and a better lesson would be to teach him it was not okay, by not taking it. There are different, more healthy ways, to vent when someone is upset, which is really all he doing with you. He might learn them or not, but I think by you stepping aside as you are doing he has a better chance.


I hope you’re having a great day and have a great weekend!
 

overcome mom

Active Member
I have been reading the thread and everyone's replies. I have been through it all too, the repeated phone calls telling me everything that is wrong and me responding and getting yelled at for what stupid ideas I have for solving his problems. Also the lack of empathy. I cannot remember the last time my son asked how me or his father was doing. I called him on it one time and he said I thought if it was important you would tell me. I informed him that I was not going to tell him that he would have to ask. This did not happen. I know my son was shocked lately when he heard we bought a travel trailer about a year ago. We didn't tell him in the beginning because we didn't want to hear about when he asked for money and we didn't give it to him. He has been by the house since we bought it but couldn't see it as we store it in our out building. He has never asked for details of any of our trips so didn't even have to try and not tell him.
We just went on a long trip and my husband was contacting my son along the way telling him about what we were seeing. This just stressed me out. When I hear the details of what is going on with him then I start to running through the possible scenarios of what is going to happen in the future, lose job ,homeless etc.
SWOT I too feel guilty when I don't want to talk to my son but I am trying not to, I have the right to be happy. I don't know how much longer I have on this earth but I don't want to spend it riddled with anxiety. I haven't heard from him in 3 days and I am so much more relaxed. Right now for me not talking to him takes some of the stress away. I am trying to tell myself that me letting him use me as a punching bag, lying to me, has taught him that he can do this to others and that is not good for him. I know he acts a lot the way he does because of his mental illnesses but he needs to learn different ways of getting what he wants. I have done all that I can do the last 25 years as I am sure you have. Things have not improved much . I do tell him I love him which I do with all my heart but me bailing him out has not helped him or me. I know a lot of the times I have given him money it was the wrong thing to do but it kept things from escalating and reduced my stress.
I am glad you have been able to turn off your phone I do think that it is the right thing to do for you at this point and you shouldn't feel guilty. You are teaching him how to properly respond to others.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thank you so much, Lil. You brought up a good point. If my son, who lives about eight or nine hours from me has a heart attack or any medical emergency, even a mental health breakdown which I fear, he has to learn to droend on 911. I am so far away that I can not help him handle it. Truthfully I would even tell Jumper and Sonic to call 911 for an emergency and they live close. But we dont know how to treat a medical emergency. Best to drive to the hospial hospial while paramedics stablilize them. We have no medical training.

I have to remember that 911 is available to everyone everywhere.

Thanks again, Lil. I feel very guilty for every reason but I have to walk over this one and live my life. I tried my hardest and will try hard again if I am allowed to really help him.

I will talk to him again. I just need time to think of what to say.

Love and light!
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thank you and welcome overcome mom.

I cant believe I wrote all this about somebody I love so much. All I want for him is to learn better coping skills and doing all he can to take care of his health. I worry myself sick. I have been worried since this woman divorced him. I know he was alone, not good at making friends, not really a part of our family (just me and kind of his father). I cant impress on him how important a support system is. A group maybe of divorced men. People to lean on who live near him. And when one is under stress taking extra care of both one's mental and physical heslth is so very important. But he doesnt think it will help until the stressful events are over. So he won't even try. I so much want him to get so angry at the situation that he says "I wont allow this to ruin my life! I will NEVER lose my son to her...she cant change that. I do need to stay healthy for him."

Will this ever happen?

I hope so.

I hope he sits back and decided that my simple rules are reasonable and that we can talk to one another without yelling. I talk to people without anyone yelling at me all the time. He is so very smart. He must know on some level that this is possible. And that the way he talks to me is wrong. It would kill him if his son someday talked to him that way but he is setting a terrible example.

I am sad about this but I wont let it break me. I want peace and respect for the rest if my life too. I am at an age where constant stress is bad for me and there are too many who need and want me here and healthy for me to put up with the relationship as it now stands. It was starting to affect me in a negative way. I had to change the rules. Its up to him now. Truly. I am here for himbut he has to stop the way he tslks to me. Period.
 
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Triedntrue

Well-Known Member
I haven't read through all of this but check your phone settings and see if you have do not disturb. You can set it for time to go off and time to come back on automatically. You can also set people you want to accept calls from if you want. Mine is set to go off from 9 pm to 9 am but my 2 sons who are far away and rarely call without reason their calls will come through. They are the priority list. I put this in effect when he would call me in the middle of the night cause he was fighting with his wife or needed gas or a ride. I am talking 2 or 3 in the morning. It is great relief at times.
 

Albatross

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry he's put you through such aggravation and pain, SWOT. He is obviously a very bright man and was obviously raised right, so he knows he should not talk to others the way he talks to you. And he should not be TELLING you how YOU should support him! Jeez...what does he think you are, a member of the Adoring Bart Fan Club?

Maybe this will push him toward developing his emotional side a little, learning to show more empathy and sensitivity and not look at others as robots, who are only there to massage his ego and absorb his verbal vomit.

I think it is such a good thing that you set the limits you did. It's good for you, obviously. But I also hope it's good for him too.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thanks. It was hard. I felt like i am abandoning him but I will be there if he can have a civilized relationship with me. He was doing better but as his case got more perilous, he became intolerable. Not that he was ever NICE (he was alays into HIM only), but he controlled the yelling, swearing and hanging up. Now he seems to be in a spiral but I just cant go with him. It is up to him if he makes this good for him
 

Elsi

Well-Known Member
SWOT you are not Abandoning him! He is making the choice to not behave in a civilized fashion and respect your very reasonable boundaries. His choice, not your doing. You are still right where you have always been, when he chooses to behave in a civilized fashion.

You’re right, you can’t go into the spiral with him. All you can do is keep yourself strong so you’re still there for him when he is ready.

Hugs.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thanks. No i did not block him and clearly told him that I love him and am still here if he wants to talk in a civilized way. I do have to address what he said to my ex . If he hangs up for that oh well.

I have had peaceful days and want to continue them. Thanks for your kind post.
 

B’smom

Active Member
Hey SWOT,
I am very proud of you for setting perfectly healthy boundaries for you and Bart. I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. You’re love for Bart is evident throughout your posts. Of course we love our children, but we also must love ourselves. You are worth more, you deserve more. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. I hope this may help Bart start his own journey towards self awareness and recovery.
 
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