I find Warrior Moms in the most unexpected places!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Went in for my annual pelvic exam this morning (sorry if that's too much information) and the N.P. was chatting with me about her kids, one of which is an apparent difficult child in a big way. Long story short, he's got some kind of mood disorder and she had to 5150 him (involuntary psychiatric hold in our state) a few weeks ago because he assaulted her (he's also been smoking pot, running away, stealing money, etc. -- and mom's going through a divorce of what sounds like an abusive biodad). The kid's at his 3rd psychiatric ward in as many weeks and is headed to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) soon, and she is just at a loss for how to deal with all this. I could tell she was relieved to be talking with another mom who understands what it's like to deal with mental illness in the family. Her difficult child is 15 and doesn't have a psychiatrist, so I gave her the number for ours and also gave her our local NAMI chapter's website (she'd never heard of them). I kept her way too long in the exam room talking, otherwise I would have also given her this website. She said she may call me with more questions, but who knows. I should send her a note c/o the doctor's office and give her some more resources.

    I bring this up because it amazes me how often I meet people who are "secretly" dealing with a difficult child in their life, and I get the opportunity to advocate for the mental health resources that are in my area and here online. I think it's important for any of us who've lived through raising a child with a mental or developmental disorder to be as vocal and as helpful as we can when we meet other parents who are just starting down the road we are on. We all know how lonely and scary it can be. It doesn't take much to give another parent hope -- just acknowledging that they are not alone and that help is out there can be enough to keep them going forward and not give up.

    So that's my rah-rah for the day! Everyone here has valuable experiences to share that can help someone else. Everyone.
  2. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I would be lost without Warrior Moms!!!! I cannot give out to much advice, as it hasn't worked out for me too well. But I can give support and just knowing that someone else is going thru this whole thing too, does help.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    gcv...you have no idea how many times that has happened to me too! One time I was having a cardiac stress test and was in the nuclear imaging part and the sweetest radiologist tech was in there with me because I was too scared to be in there alone and she was having issues with her own difficult child's...lol. We had to be together long enough to talk that long! Another time I was in the ER and met a nurse who was BiPolar (BP) and had a child with BiPolar (BP) and we discussed medications and I gave her this board name...lmao.

    Now just recently Billy has gotten back in touch with his aunt (my ex sister in law) and she is having issues with her step son. He was just arrested on 11 felonies and he has had me friend her on FB and he gave her this websites name...lmao. So now I am talking to me ex-sister in law about her difficult child...sigh.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Jody -
    Please don't feel that you "don't have anything to contribute".
    Often, it helps when people can even say "we tried that and it didn't work for these reasons..."

    Honestly - if I had found the board 5 years ago, then for the last 4.5 years, I'd have been in your shoes. NOTHING WORKED. Until now.
    Now that we're getting some answers, it turns out that things we tried were not that far off the mark... but didn't work until we had the whole picture.
  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I doubt some of us know how good it feels for those we stumble on to have someone understand and/or offer resources!! I don't know if the person joined or is reading even, but I recently shared this site info with a taxi driver, father of I think 5, one a difficult child going through a rough time right now. Im glad you were able to talk to this other mom. I think a note to her with resources would probably help her, especially since she isn't familiar with NAMI etc. She sounds like she isn't in the know yet about available resources and we all know this board is a portal of information to programs everywhere.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I have done the same type of thing often over the years. A few I directed here, some I didn't for various reasons, but all I directed to county resources. I still help one of the girls, I say girl she's in her late 20's or early 30's, I went to nursing school with. Her son is autistic......and I helped her get his IEP in place and various other things. She loves the fact that she can drop me a line anytime with any situation with her son (he's 8) and I totally get it. Like the first day of school. Her daughter normally walks him to class the first day. But this year she's in Jr High......so he had before school care. Mom couldn't get him out of the car. The boy doesn't deal with change well at all. He wasn't raging, he was sobbing hysterically. She dropped me a line......and I soooo got it. And suggested she step inside the before care room and see if there was a teacher or another student he knew to buddy with that morning..... It finally worked. I've given her the cd site but don't know if she's ever visited here or not. I don't go into general much anymore.

    I'd have given anything to have come across another warrior mom when I was in the trenches with Travis before I found the board. So I just don't think twice about speaking up and helping other parents who are still trying to find their way.
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Kudos to you!!! That is exactly one reason I do not hide my issues with difficult child. For one, I am not a private person and I am pretty much an open book. Two, I always hope that in some small way I have helped someone out there not feel so alone....I know I felt very alone for a long time. This board means so much to me!!! I love you all!!!
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Kudos to you! You're awesome.

    Unless someone just comes across as unwilling to learn, I try to be open about our situation. Even if it makes folks do nothing more than pause and think, that's more thought than some gave it before. And through the help of my friend, the cafe owner, we've actually changed a few local folks' minds about mental health issues. One person at a time...if no one starts, it will never be better.