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I found myself here because I made my daughter leave today and am now remorseful
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<blockquote data-quote="Fifi_1123" data-source="post: 761723" data-attributes="member: 27897"><p>Cops </p><p>Many thanks again. </p><p></p><p>I too did things the wrong way and made wrong choices and doozy choices they were </p><p></p><p>No guidance some adhd undiagnosed and some childhood traumas that were swept under the rug when reported. This all combined to make a horrible cocktail of reactive behaviors. It took me marrying losing a husband and then choosing the wrong mate again in a husband and statibg much longer than necessary. </p><p></p><p>I did finally attend schools and became a professional with a diploma then a one with a bachelors then my masters. So she did see me strive and achieve. She also saw her brother so the same. He s not a good student and struggles. Instead of asking for help she hid it. And that’s is on her. I wa s there and I was involved but couldn’t see grades and was not allowed right?? But again this is on her. </p><p></p><p>My post is acknowledging this. My heart is broken for her as I do know first hand how absolutely hard of a life she will now have to have. I don’t believe she will ever go to academia again. But again it’s all her. </p><p>It’s just such a waste of opportunity in someone who had it all set up and willfully ruined her chances of making it better for herself and achieving her dreams and goals. </p><p></p><p>That’s all. I did contact her dad and he did accuse me moving as the reason for my daughters problems. So there’s no change there. </p><p></p><p>I am praying she continues to see that the boyfriend who is still in the picture who failed it of college himself three years ago and is working two menial jobs just to pay rent in a lousy apartment. I asked her today to</p><p>ctually look around at her peer group and see where any are actually succeeding in life and what if any of them are actually going somewhere and what they are doing to</p><p>Do this. I said if no one is going anywhere one can summarize that misery loves company and while you might be friends none are helping or supportive of your success. And for her to realize this friend group might be a big part of her bad choices. They are all Potheads that are going nowhere and have all dropped out. </p><p></p><p>Again all choices lead back to her making good bad or ugly choices. Im sorry for her hard life now. </p><p></p><p>I will enjoy what time I have here in the pacific and will Make the most of it. And I will</p><p>Continue to do good things for others in my life. </p><p></p><p>I won’t let her be hungry but I have made all things I paid for now be turned over for her to be responsible to pay. If she’s not In School succeeding then she has to be on her own totally. I feel this is the only way for her to understand what life is and how to navigate it. </p><p>She will have 5 months in student housing until she has to leave there and her lease is up so it will be up to her to keep it up. </p><p></p><p>She actually failed all</p><p>Classes. Then went to school Jan 10 like all</p><p>Was fine and had not ever been to a counselor or checked with financial aid for anything related to failing all</p><p>Classes so she said she was shocked to find out she owed 13k for tuition to be able to continue to go to school there. </p><p></p><p>For the Life of me I do not understand this. I was there I was</p><p>Asking. Have you gone to finnaid what’s your package look like. Have you met with any counselors. Do you owe anything?? I know you’re made low grades (I didn’t know until today she failed them all-but what do you expect when her boyfriend buys her all the weed she wants??). </p><p>So again she totally messed up her entire future and now is going to have a tough road. </p><p></p><p>I don’t know how old you are but it’s not the same world it was financially for anyone like it was even ten years ago. She’s bought herself a life of poverty snd she will be the only one to scratch out of it. That’s the shame. For her. Not me. I have accepted that I did good. I was a good mom to her. I was there. It’s what she chose or didn’t chooose to accept from me. And that will be her own cross to bear when she ever figures it out. </p><p></p><p>Yes I worry she will</p><p>Commit suicide over this failure. I think she doesn’t have the strength to accept her faults. </p><p></p><p>But again she’s not said that so I won’t bring it up anymore. I just said today that if she is feeling at the end of her rope to reach it and never hesitate no matter the time. </p><p></p><p>Again you are a jewel here and yours snd everyone’s input is so needed. Keep it up!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fifi_1123, post: 761723, member: 27897"] Cops Many thanks again. I too did things the wrong way and made wrong choices and doozy choices they were No guidance some adhd undiagnosed and some childhood traumas that were swept under the rug when reported. This all combined to make a horrible cocktail of reactive behaviors. It took me marrying losing a husband and then choosing the wrong mate again in a husband and statibg much longer than necessary. I did finally attend schools and became a professional with a diploma then a one with a bachelors then my masters. So she did see me strive and achieve. She also saw her brother so the same. He s not a good student and struggles. Instead of asking for help she hid it. And that’s is on her. I wa s there and I was involved but couldn’t see grades and was not allowed right?? But again this is on her. My post is acknowledging this. My heart is broken for her as I do know first hand how absolutely hard of a life she will now have to have. I don’t believe she will ever go to academia again. But again it’s all her. It’s just such a waste of opportunity in someone who had it all set up and willfully ruined her chances of making it better for herself and achieving her dreams and goals. That’s all. I did contact her dad and he did accuse me moving as the reason for my daughters problems. So there’s no change there. I am praying she continues to see that the boyfriend who is still in the picture who failed it of college himself three years ago and is working two menial jobs just to pay rent in a lousy apartment. I asked her today to ctually look around at her peer group and see where any are actually succeeding in life and what if any of them are actually going somewhere and what they are doing to Do this. I said if no one is going anywhere one can summarize that misery loves company and while you might be friends none are helping or supportive of your success. And for her to realize this friend group might be a big part of her bad choices. They are all Potheads that are going nowhere and have all dropped out. Again all choices lead back to her making good bad or ugly choices. Im sorry for her hard life now. I will enjoy what time I have here in the pacific and will Make the most of it. And I will Continue to do good things for others in my life. I won’t let her be hungry but I have made all things I paid for now be turned over for her to be responsible to pay. If she’s not In School succeeding then she has to be on her own totally. I feel this is the only way for her to understand what life is and how to navigate it. She will have 5 months in student housing until she has to leave there and her lease is up so it will be up to her to keep it up. She actually failed all Classes. Then went to school Jan 10 like all Was fine and had not ever been to a counselor or checked with financial aid for anything related to failing all Classes so she said she was shocked to find out she owed 13k for tuition to be able to continue to go to school there. For the Life of me I do not understand this. I was there I was Asking. Have you gone to finnaid what’s your package look like. Have you met with any counselors. Do you owe anything?? I know you’re made low grades (I didn’t know until today she failed them all-but what do you expect when her boyfriend buys her all the weed she wants??). So again she totally messed up her entire future and now is going to have a tough road. I don’t know how old you are but it’s not the same world it was financially for anyone like it was even ten years ago. She’s bought herself a life of poverty snd she will be the only one to scratch out of it. That’s the shame. For her. Not me. I have accepted that I did good. I was a good mom to her. I was there. It’s what she chose or didn’t chooose to accept from me. And that will be her own cross to bear when she ever figures it out. Yes I worry she will Commit suicide over this failure. I think she doesn’t have the strength to accept her faults. But again she’s not said that so I won’t bring it up anymore. I just said today that if she is feeling at the end of her rope to reach it and never hesitate no matter the time. Again you are a jewel here and yours snd everyone’s input is so needed. Keep it up!! [/QUOTE]
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I found myself here because I made my daughter leave today and am now remorseful
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