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I found stepgfg
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 19502" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>It's taken me awhile to respond again. I've been doing alot of thinking. And it's not helping that N's keeps asking either if I'm going to write to stepgfg, or if I already have. :frown:</p><p></p><p>OTE you're right. She was an addict on meth. And the b/f, the kid's Dad, was no prize himself. And to be frank, I'm just happy to know she's alive. If you recall we they disappeared we were informed they had some major meth dealers after them. </p><p></p><p>But as for the rest. I've been torn up really bad about this. The Mom and Nana part of me wants to open that door wide. Even after all of the pain, I love them so much. For all these years I pushed aside those feelings because I had to just to keep going. I've missed them so much. I've grieved so deeply. And I've worried for so long.</p><p></p><p>And then there is my head reminding me that she is an addict, whether she's currently using or not. I think of how she used us to suit herself, how she used the kids to get things she wanted.... That stepgfg was a major difficult child long before the meth. I want to believe she got help. I know what Meth does. I want more than anything to believe she got her life together. Dumped the loser b/f. And started living up to her responsibility of being a Mom to Kayla and Alex.</p><p></p><p>Kayla and Alex. OMG Just typing their names brings tears to my eyes. My heart has ached for those two. My first grandchildren. The lil one's I pretty much raised til stepgfg took off. Each time I look at Darrin and Aubrey, I see Kayla and Alex. Oddly enough, for cousins they could all pass as siblings. Aubrey is named after Kayla. (middle name) easy child has a tattoo on her back with their names. </p><p>I wonder if Kayla is how I remember her. Does Alex have special needs? Does Kayla still look identical to easy child and stepgfg? Alex was a carbon copy of husband and T. Does he look like T did at 5?</p><p></p><p>Then the other questions hit me. Are they being cared for? Are they healthy, loved, safe? Are they happy?</p><p></p><p>I think I will open the door. But as it's been suggested, just a crack. Holding no expectation. The family won't know when I do it. What they don't know can't hurt them. easy child and T still don't even know I found stepgfg. Only N and husband know. It will be for my peace of mind. I'll know that I gave stepgfg the opening. If she chooses not to take it now, maybe sometime in the future she will.</p><p></p><p>Trust. Now that is a whole other subject. I'm not so sure that will ever come back.</p><p></p><p>OTE thanks for the ideas on how to check up on her. I may give it a whirl. Although I think the PI is way out of our league.</p><p></p><p>Oddly enough I'm angry. Mad as h#ll that I can't just call her up and ask how they all are and catch her up on all the news. Angry that she's cheated Kayla and Alex out of almost 5 yrs with family who adore them. And that she cheated herself out of that same love and support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 19502, member: 84"] It's taken me awhile to respond again. I've been doing alot of thinking. And it's not helping that N's keeps asking either if I'm going to write to stepgfg, or if I already have. [img]:frown:[/img] OTE you're right. She was an addict on meth. And the b/f, the kid's Dad, was no prize himself. And to be frank, I'm just happy to know she's alive. If you recall we they disappeared we were informed they had some major meth dealers after them. But as for the rest. I've been torn up really bad about this. The Mom and Nana part of me wants to open that door wide. Even after all of the pain, I love them so much. For all these years I pushed aside those feelings because I had to just to keep going. I've missed them so much. I've grieved so deeply. And I've worried for so long. And then there is my head reminding me that she is an addict, whether she's currently using or not. I think of how she used us to suit herself, how she used the kids to get things she wanted.... That stepgfg was a major difficult child long before the meth. I want to believe she got help. I know what Meth does. I want more than anything to believe she got her life together. Dumped the loser b/f. And started living up to her responsibility of being a Mom to Kayla and Alex. Kayla and Alex. OMG Just typing their names brings tears to my eyes. My heart has ached for those two. My first grandchildren. The lil one's I pretty much raised til stepgfg took off. Each time I look at Darrin and Aubrey, I see Kayla and Alex. Oddly enough, for cousins they could all pass as siblings. Aubrey is named after Kayla. (middle name) easy child has a tattoo on her back with their names. I wonder if Kayla is how I remember her. Does Alex have special needs? Does Kayla still look identical to easy child and stepgfg? Alex was a carbon copy of husband and T. Does he look like T did at 5? Then the other questions hit me. Are they being cared for? Are they healthy, loved, safe? Are they happy? I think I will open the door. But as it's been suggested, just a crack. Holding no expectation. The family won't know when I do it. What they don't know can't hurt them. easy child and T still don't even know I found stepgfg. Only N and husband know. It will be for my peace of mind. I'll know that I gave stepgfg the opening. If she chooses not to take it now, maybe sometime in the future she will. Trust. Now that is a whole other subject. I'm not so sure that will ever come back. OTE thanks for the ideas on how to check up on her. I may give it a whirl. Although I think the PI is way out of our league. Oddly enough I'm angry. Mad as h#ll that I can't just call her up and ask how they all are and catch her up on all the news. Angry that she's cheated Kayla and Alex out of almost 5 yrs with family who adore them. And that she cheated herself out of that same love and support. [/QUOTE]
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