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I gave notice this week
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 25391" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>I am a working mother, and for all purposes, must remain that way for at least another few months. Our difficult child has not been living with us long, and since she was technically placed in our home by CPS, as a "foster child" for the first 6 months, she is my husband's bio daughter. He has never had custody of her, and when CPS removed her from her mother's home, they required us to go through training and evaluations as any other foster parent would before being approved to care for children, and once all was complete, they set this up as a permanent placement, but she is considered a foster child in our care for the first 6 months. At that point, they will have a judge enter an order to give my husband full custody of her. So in effect, it is almost like they are asking him to adopt his own child from "the system" which is rather irritating in itself. Through this whole experience, we have also discovered another "KINK" in the system, that is also rather irritating. His child support order, which was in effect while the child was living with her mother, does not get cancelled until he has full custody, so although we are providing full support for her as a "foster child" without the compensation that normal foster care providers receive, we are STILL PAYING 500 per month in child support for her!!!</p><p></p><p>We may consider doing the very thing that you are doing once we have the financial stablility to do so. I believe you are making a wise choice. However, some things for you to consider... </p><p></p><p>(and forgive me for rambling and for such long posts, but I am so excited the last few days that I found this forum and have just had SOOO much to say!!!!!!)</p><p></p><p>ANYTIME I end up staying home for issues unrelated to our difficult child, for example, one of my easy child's is sick, or I have a migraine, or am sick myself, our difficult child finds SOME excuse to decide she doesn't want to go to school. On most occasions, I make her go anyway, but this usually causes a HUGE fight and she lashes out and makes me feel bad telling me that I am neglecting her needs by sending her to school when she is "so sick" or with "such a headache"... the last time, she even went to the extent of making herself throw up TWICE in the morning so that I could see she was "really sick". </p><p></p><p>Again,I think that overall you are probably making the right decision if you can swing it, to stay home, and hopefully the daycare situation will work out well. </p><p></p><p>But just be prepared, the issue may come up that your difficult child will make DESPERATE attempts to stay home with you, and I suspect that this may become a problem, since your difficult child has already expressed an interest in doing exactly that. I don't know if you are actually considering the possibility of homeschooling, but if you are, here are a few other things to consider.... </p><p></p><p>Helping out with the little ones is a very nice offer, but the problem is, even if you did homeschool her, number one, how much of a fight would it be to get through her schooling on a regular consistent basis, and number two, being at home with other people's little ones, your attention will mostly be directed at other children, and I worry about how your difficult child would deal with that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 25391, member: 3527"] I am a working mother, and for all purposes, must remain that way for at least another few months. Our difficult child has not been living with us long, and since she was technically placed in our home by CPS, as a "foster child" for the first 6 months, she is my husband's bio daughter. He has never had custody of her, and when CPS removed her from her mother's home, they required us to go through training and evaluations as any other foster parent would before being approved to care for children, and once all was complete, they set this up as a permanent placement, but she is considered a foster child in our care for the first 6 months. At that point, they will have a judge enter an order to give my husband full custody of her. So in effect, it is almost like they are asking him to adopt his own child from "the system" which is rather irritating in itself. Through this whole experience, we have also discovered another "KINK" in the system, that is also rather irritating. His child support order, which was in effect while the child was living with her mother, does not get cancelled until he has full custody, so although we are providing full support for her as a "foster child" without the compensation that normal foster care providers receive, we are STILL PAYING 500 per month in child support for her!!! We may consider doing the very thing that you are doing once we have the financial stablility to do so. I believe you are making a wise choice. However, some things for you to consider... (and forgive me for rambling and for such long posts, but I am so excited the last few days that I found this forum and have just had SOOO much to say!!!!!!) ANYTIME I end up staying home for issues unrelated to our difficult child, for example, one of my easy child's is sick, or I have a migraine, or am sick myself, our difficult child finds SOME excuse to decide she doesn't want to go to school. On most occasions, I make her go anyway, but this usually causes a HUGE fight and she lashes out and makes me feel bad telling me that I am neglecting her needs by sending her to school when she is "so sick" or with "such a headache"... the last time, she even went to the extent of making herself throw up TWICE in the morning so that I could see she was "really sick". Again,I think that overall you are probably making the right decision if you can swing it, to stay home, and hopefully the daycare situation will work out well. But just be prepared, the issue may come up that your difficult child will make DESPERATE attempts to stay home with you, and I suspect that this may become a problem, since your difficult child has already expressed an interest in doing exactly that. I don't know if you are actually considering the possibility of homeschooling, but if you are, here are a few other things to consider.... Helping out with the little ones is a very nice offer, but the problem is, even if you did homeschool her, number one, how much of a fight would it be to get through her schooling on a regular consistent basis, and number two, being at home with other people's little ones, your attention will mostly be directed at other children, and I worry about how your difficult child would deal with that. [/QUOTE]
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