I guess.....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Last night I'm having a chat with Dude on the phone. He is doing well, and has two room mates who apparently smoke. Dude does not. I stopped smoking ten years ago in March because Dude asked me who would take care of him if I died and it went over me like a ton of bricks. I mean he didn't know Janet - although the thought of having three brothers was mildly appealing - he was serious. So when we got the house 12 years ago we limited the smoking to the converted garage/den. We have never smoked in the house. Not even guests.

    So as we are talking - get this conversation - and keep in mind whose child this is, and see if I'm correct for being a little shocked.

    (blah blah blah...."Um Mom - excuse me a minute. J? J? COME HERE NOW!" No, RIGHT NOW.""
    said to room mate.
    "NO, This can NOT wait, you need to come here NOW."
    -"Do you see this? On the couch?"
    (roommate) "Yeah"
    "Okay, this is exactly why I said you both (other roommate) can't smoke in the house. You need to pick that up right now, There are ashes all over my dog."
    (apparently Ouixa walked past the couch and knocked an ashtray on herself)
    "J - I think you see this is a problem we're only going to solve by not smoking in the house anymore, we tried it your way, it isn't working, my dog is covered in ashes, there could have been a lit cigarette in here and what would have happened if someone wasn't home man?"
    (roommate) "The place would have burned."
    "Right our dogs would be dead, what little we do own would be gone and we would have no place to live. So we are all agreeing here - no smoking in our house-!"
    he didn't ask either - he was telling him.

    (roommate) "That's cool - at least we tried it my way -lol" walked off. I could hear him in the background yelling at the other room mate for leavin the ashtray.

    OMG - He was firm like - NOW!!!! when he was calling the room mate, and calm when he was talking, very calm. Then he made the kid pick up the ashtray and take it with him.

    I just sat there listening and thinking - WOW! Then I said - "Where did that come from?" Dude says "What?" I said "Talking to your room mates like that?" He said "I dunno - that's how you and Dad did it with me -" I guess......

    :faint: Gobsmacked......utterly and simply......GOOBER de'SMACKED.

    It was just a proud moment I thought I would share.....
  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I would be proud, too!
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Yeah dude!!! It seems like when we least expect it, they show that they really were listening all that time.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    You really had to hear the way he said it - but I was still shaking my head this morning. It didn't even matter where he heard it. Could have been from a goat for all I cared, but it was a far cry from the tirades we had just a few short years ago, and I'm not so blind that I don't think it could flip but at least I know like Ragu - "It's in there."
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Way To Go DUDE!!!!!

    And Way To Go STAR, TOO - 'cause you know, if you HADN'T done it that way, he wouldn't now...

  6. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Damn, can I get him to marry Kat instead of IG?
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Congrats Star and Way To Go Dude!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Wow...awesome sauce! Way To Go Dude (and of course his wonderful mom!)
  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Wow! That's got me smiling! It's encouraging to see that even when you think they're not listening, some of it really is sinking in!
  10. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Awesome, Star!
  11. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    husband calls our difficult child Dude too (all the time, I swear he forgot difficult child's name, LOL) anyhow Way To Go Dude !!!!! You must be so proud Mama Star !!! :likeit: :bravo:
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    ....yay! doin' the Happy Dance in my living room! I just love those moments when difficult child acts like a man.
  13. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Thanks all - Life is farrrr from perfect..and there is other ick stuff and there is other really good stuff, - but sometimes you just have to appreciate the good moments, and post them - because posting the bad moments - would clog.the.board.

    Mantra - I am hopeful, I can pray. Repeat this to yourself come what may.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Star I am not the least bit surprised. Proud as all get out, but not surprised.

    Sure, he's not perfect..........and he's still got some learning to do, but down deep where it counts, Dude is a good kid. He just hasn't completely figured it out yet.

    I love those moments when they bang you over the head with the fact that they were listening all that time they were doing all they possibly could to prove they weren't. Way To Go Dude! If he doesn't watch himself he's going to become a responsible adult. :rofl:

    Love that boy. And you're right, he is his mother's son. :bigsmile:
  16. dashcat

    dashcat Member


    Those who have PCs will attest that even they are not perfect. Who cares about perfection when we can celebrate those times when we see a glimmer of light!
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I have no idea what normal is...all I can tell you is he is trying. We are trying, and after a year and a half? We finally sent him a box of 2nd hand clothing for interviews, and he was more appreciative of it than of anything we every got at a store. We sent a toy for our little Granddogger too and well suffice to say it's making her 'Daddy' nuts! ....I carried it around in my coat for a week! - lol -smelled a lot like Grammy and makes crazy, jungle monkey sounds when you shake it. Apparently - after an hour? He finally put it up. lol. (insert evil gwammy smile)
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    ...Bubbles loves squeeky toys... So da' Mama performs surgery (squeekectomy) on any that come in the house. (Rip, yank, sew, give to dog)

    ...Squeeky toys make me homicidal...
  19. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Just wait ... some day you will hear your own words coming out of your childs' mouth, aimed at your GRANDCHILD! :bigsmile:
  20. KFld

    KFld New Member

    WOW! I guess there is some truth to "kids learn by example"
    I had kind of given up on that!