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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 687657" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>Yeah, I knew it was a substantial amount of money. Rereading my post, it sounds like I am mocking you, doesn't it? Like you're so bad that you'd kick your own kid to the curb for stealing a few bucks in loose change. I swear, that isn't how I meant it. I used change jar as more of a figure of speech, not ridicule.</p><p></p><p>Lying is such a bad habit. And a difficult one to break. Your son has done a lot of lying. I have probably lied more. So frequently, in fact, that it became subconscious. Early in sobriety, I would lie about stupid <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. Lying even when I stood to gain nothing from it. It just became second nature. I still find myself lying about irrelevant <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> sometimes, and I think "Why did I just lie about that?". Sister is even worse. I swear, if she told you she had McDonald's for lunch, chances are she had Taco Bell. </p><p></p><p>It seems strange because it really is. Yes, your son lied to you. And no, you shouldn't just brush it aside. But figuring out WHY he lied will be beneficial to him. Talk to him about it. He made a mistake, and he can certainly learn from it, but only if he can understand why he lied at all. For gain? To avoid hurting you? To avoid your disappointment? Or maybe for no real reason at all. Once you clear that up, you can work on changing that behavior.</p><p></p><p>You have done so well as far as your own recovery. Even though it was painful, you have stuck to your guns. You made him leave for real, not for a few days to send a message. I can't imagine that being easy, or pleasant. There are no point to rules or conditions if you do not enforce them. And you have done a great job of standing firm. Throughout your threads, you have demonstrated the understanding that he will need to fall in order to motivate him. Such as refusing to buy his groceries, and stuff like that. Nothing wrong with housing him after an unforeseen event. So long as you don't let him get complacent. When the situation is resolved, things will be as they were before this fire. </p><p></p><p>How is your husband handling all of this?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 687657, member: 20267"] Yeah, I knew it was a substantial amount of money. Rereading my post, it sounds like I am mocking you, doesn't it? Like you're so bad that you'd kick your own kid to the curb for stealing a few bucks in loose change. I swear, that isn't how I meant it. I used change jar as more of a figure of speech, not ridicule. Lying is such a bad habit. And a difficult one to break. Your son has done a lot of lying. I have probably lied more. So frequently, in fact, that it became subconscious. Early in sobriety, I would lie about stupid :censored2:. Lying even when I stood to gain nothing from it. It just became second nature. I still find myself lying about irrelevant :censored2: sometimes, and I think "Why did I just lie about that?". Sister is even worse. I swear, if she told you she had McDonald's for lunch, chances are she had Taco Bell. It seems strange because it really is. Yes, your son lied to you. And no, you shouldn't just brush it aside. But figuring out WHY he lied will be beneficial to him. Talk to him about it. He made a mistake, and he can certainly learn from it, but only if he can understand why he lied at all. For gain? To avoid hurting you? To avoid your disappointment? Or maybe for no real reason at all. Once you clear that up, you can work on changing that behavior. You have done so well as far as your own recovery. Even though it was painful, you have stuck to your guns. You made him leave for real, not for a few days to send a message. I can't imagine that being easy, or pleasant. There are no point to rules or conditions if you do not enforce them. And you have done a great job of standing firm. Throughout your threads, you have demonstrated the understanding that he will need to fall in order to motivate him. Such as refusing to buy his groceries, and stuff like that. Nothing wrong with housing him after an unforeseen event. So long as you don't let him get complacent. When the situation is resolved, things will be as they were before this fire. How is your husband handling all of this? [/QUOTE]
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