I hate hunting season

[threebabygirls]

I'm a "hunting widow." Bow season ended yesterday, and today husband just HAD to go to Gander Mtn and Bass Pro to get help mounting his scope on his gun. He left at 8:30 a.m. and I haven't seen him since. I am sooo lonely and sooo sick of being a "single" mom.

 

[trinityroyal]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} TBG. That really stinks.

Have you and husband talked about this...that you need his time, his help with the children, etc.? In other words, is it that he doesn't know you're struggling without him, or that he knows but isn't changing his behaviour.

Sometimes, when we get really good at coping and dealing with things, our men just can't see where they fit into the picture. They figure that they're not required because everything is running smoothly, and they can't see that it's eating you up inside. The only way for him to know is for you to tell him (or better still, show him).

If he does know and he's not acknowledging your needs...that's another story altogether...

Trinity

 

[hearts and roses]

I used to be a hunting & fishing widow. But he's my exh now.

Sorry you're feeling so alone. If you haven't already done so, I strongly urge you to impress upon him how much you a) miss him, b) need his help and c) how important it is for his children to have him around during his 'off' time.

I hope he listens and I hope you're able to take up a fun hobby for yourself. My exh was unavailable during some very difficult times and situations because his hunting and fishing always came before his family. We were a show piece to be pulled out when it was convenient or required. Otherwise, as long as I held it all together, he was content to let me. It wasn't until years later, after our separation and subsequent divorce that my exh realize the error of his ways. And I am not so sure he still truly realizes just how selfish he was.

on the other hand, my sister in law was always griping about her H being gone hunting and fishing all the time...so after being ignored for years, she decided to take it up as well. Of course, her kids were older by then, teens. But for a few good years she accompanied him when he went tracking and also fishing. They still go, though not as frequently as she's found other things to occupy her time while he's off doing his thing. Also, their kids are out of the house so they get enough alone time.

Best of luck.

 

[Fran]

I'm not wild about it myself but for different reasons. I walk everyday in an multi purpose wildlife area. The gunshots are farther off but still makes me nervous. I wear bright colors but it's scary.
Sorry to hear that you are a hunting widow.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

The flip side of this is let him know it is fine for him to be gone but once hunting season is over you get to pick the hobby of your choice for alone time on the weekends and he tends the kids. Just keep track of how many weekend days or whatever he is gone and let him know that is fun you understand but fair is fair and you get that much time to relax and do what you want.

Just a thought on something to say to him. But make sure your not angry when you mention it (cuz we wouldn't want to be accused of being emotional..been there done that). Just let him know this matter of factly.

I know it isn't necessarily what you were looking for to happen but maybe it will get his attention. OH and if you tell him this make sure you follow through.

beth

 

[Abbey]

Ack. Hate hunting period. I don't get it. I can't look at an ant in my house and squish it.

I feel for you.

Abbey

 

[threebabygirls]

Oh, he knows full well how I struggle. He either doesn't believe it's as bad as it is, or trots out his party line "It's only 6 weeks of the year..." Yes, he's selfish. I'll be the first to admit it. I could go on and on about the troubles between us, but the fact remains I'm committed to my marriage and on my dying day I want to be able to say I gave it my best shot (my parents divorced when I was 14 and I'm scarred for life). It's a long long story. I may be wrong, but I think he's so selfish because he's been on his own for most of his life, and was completely on his own since age 17. He just doesn't know any other way, as far as thinking of others. Now, that reasoning gets old when I'm neck-deep in child crises and he just "doesn't get it," but that's the way things are.
Yes, when the season is over, I get "me" time. I no longer ask for it, I just tell him I'm doing whatever it is I'm planning on doing. Still, it's a looonnnggg 6 weeks.
And, JoG, I like your sister in law's view point. However, I'm too much of a wildlife lover to pick up a weapon. I understand the need for hunting, but cannot participate myself.

 

[crazymama30]

I am with mrs. C, take off for a weekend here and there. They will survive. If he complains, tell him it is your hunting season, you are hunting for your sanity.

 

[Shari]

Go to bass pro, buy your own gun, have the dude give you some lessons, and beat him out the door opening morning...

I do it. Sometimes, it works.

Or better yet, go with him. Take the kids. Deer are really plentiful when a bunch of kids are playin in the leaves and begging to go home cause their cold.

 

[amazeofgrace]

my friend Barb feels your pain, hehusband left her with 4 kids to go away for 3 weeks hunting (and ...he's unemployed)