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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 631148" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Yes. That's true. I do know that. He's been told what to do and where to look. He's been given suggestions as simple as, "Write down the names of all the grocery stores and then, as you get the application in, cross them off." He's not stupid. He could do this if he really, really wanted.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>You're right. You are 100% right. I baby him. I don't treat him like an adult. I reminded him to googlemap the place he had the interview and how soon to leave the house. I remind him to dress right for job hunting. I tell him about places to go. Even at home, I tell him to eat because he'll go all day without. Hell, I tell him to brush his teeth!</p><p> </p><p>Why am I doing this? I really ... I think I just want SO bad for him to be okay. I can't make that happen. Nothing I do will make that happen.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I don't think I'm quite there yet. :ambivalence: And after all, if I'm supposed to treat him like an adult I can hardly resort to the punishment we gave him when he was a kid who threw a tantrum over his video games.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I can't find fault with anything any of you are saying. I have to stop helping this continue. At his age I was on my own, granted at college, but no one was telling me to do my laundry and go to bed. I'm helping him fail by doing the same stuff I did when he was 10, only adding job hunting in place of homework. I don't think I ever really say that until right this minute.</p><p> </p><p>He called a minute ago. I texted him I was on a call and couldn't talk. He texted back "Nvm. I got it. lol" You know, my impulse would normally be to text him now that I'm done and ask what he wanted. </p><p> </p><p>I won't call or text him back. </p><p> </p><p>I've got a lot to think about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 631148, member: 17309"] Yes. That's true. I do know that. He's been told what to do and where to look. He's been given suggestions as simple as, "Write down the names of all the grocery stores and then, as you get the application in, cross them off." He's not stupid. He could do this if he really, really wanted. You're right. You are 100% right. I baby him. I don't treat him like an adult. I reminded him to googlemap the place he had the interview and how soon to leave the house. I remind him to dress right for job hunting. I tell him about places to go. Even at home, I tell him to eat because he'll go all day without. Hell, I tell him to brush his teeth! Why am I doing this? I really ... I think I just want SO bad for him to be okay. I can't make that happen. Nothing I do will make that happen. I don't think I'm quite there yet. :ambivalence: And after all, if I'm supposed to treat him like an adult I can hardly resort to the punishment we gave him when he was a kid who threw a tantrum over his video games. I can't find fault with anything any of you are saying. I have to stop helping this continue. At his age I was on my own, granted at college, but no one was telling me to do my laundry and go to bed. I'm helping him fail by doing the same stuff I did when he was 10, only adding job hunting in place of homework. I don't think I ever really say that until right this minute. He called a minute ago. I texted him I was on a call and couldn't talk. He texted back "Nvm. I got it. lol" You know, my impulse would normally be to text him now that I'm done and ask what he wanted. I won't call or text him back. I've got a lot to think about. [/QUOTE]
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