I hate schools/educators/the system

Jena

New Member
i'm sorry i'm late to this, you have been supportive to me and i feel badly i've dropped the ball in responding to others as of late.

just wanted to say hang in there, i hear the desperation in your voice with initial post. it isnt' easy your right. yet you'll get this last one squared away somehow and ok,, and than you can finally sit back and say ok last one done :) i'm sure that doesn't help, just wanted to say i'm here and listening and so sorry your having a rough time of it
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thank you so much klmo. I'll mention that to daughter. I also told her to read out loud. Of course, she can only do that at home...lol.

Jena, you have SO MUCH going on right now, I don't expect you to be able to contribute much here. My problem is small compared to yours and you just take good care of yourself and concentrate on your precious daughter. Thanks for your kind words though.
 
N

Nomad

Guest
I think it is tempting to feel this way, but best not to. There have been books/comments/discussions out there for years about how are educational system is faulting...particularly at the high school level. Surely, for difficult children this is likely worse. My easy child son is now a teacher and he is doing well, but he sees the cracks in teh system. Stuff that can make a good teacher have bad days. Just way too much paperwork, to the point where it is ridiciculous. What I found really helped us with- our child was to be kind to the teachers, help where we could, to be creative, to set up good relationships with teachers and administrators and to only flex my muscle when absolutely necessary. However, when it was necessary, I did not hesitate to do so (just was careful to make sure I HAD to do so). And of course, as you are well aware, I kept my documents up to date including doctors letters, etc. Toward the end, we put our daughter in a private school. I have heard of parents doing work-school programs. Again, creativity can be a good thing. Speaking up when and where appropriate. Saving face (when you can). Not purposely hurting anyones feelings. Chosing one teacher over another (for a variety of reasons). Keep in close contact with a kind school counselor. Treat him or her RIGHT. You know your child best....so ask your questions and speak up as you see fit. You are shooting for a goal....to have your child get the best education possible and to receive a diploma. Keep this in mind at all times. Along with keeping your sanity. AND you might not set the best role model for your kid if you lose control.
In the end the IEPs might not be all THAT important...the final goal is....education/diploma/sanity.
by the way, although it was easier in the private school...still had to put what I said above into play. I did what I could, got tutors when she struggled in subjects....but tried not to go overboard. She OFTEN paid consequences for inapprpropriate behaviors, etc. and sometimes she learned (at a snails pace).
She had an IEP, graduated on time and did well in most of her classes.
Sending good thoughts.
 
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DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
MWM--

I second what Nomad is saying...

My son was in the Special Education program for years. He had good teachers and a good support system and eventually, the IEP was dropped and he was placed back into a mainstream classroom full-time. He did great!

But this year, I decided to homeschool. I saw the overcrowding at the middle school, the budget cuts, the large class sizes, the teacher frustration - and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that all of my son's progress was going to be lost...and that fighting for a new IEP was going to be a tough, uphill battle.

And yes, we have the same issues with not being allowed to participate in school sports. The school district here is even making a stink about competing with homeschoolers in the Spelling Bee! UGH!!!

But, I've discovered that lots of organizations are interested in providing services for homeschoolers. Museums open their doors with special programs and "field trips". There are also sports teams and music, art, language and science programs. There are a lot more opportunities for homeschoolers than you might think...
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Hi. Thanks again. We tried being nice. It was a disaster as they took total advantage of us. Sadly, this often happens, especially if you don't know the laws. It's not that we AREN'T nice. We are. But we do know it's up to us to take care of our kids...they are more concerned with money and the time it takes to do a modified curriculum, etc. My sister is a class aide in Illinois in an autism class and her stories are mindboggling. We are at the point, unfortunately, where we don't trust the SD. The Special Education Director, whom we know WELL because of BOTH our kids, is a parent's nightmare. He was supposed to take an early retirement and the parents were doing cartwheels. Unfortunately, he is back and he's the only game in town at our very small school (40 kids per grade). I'm sure my daughter will get a diploma regardless of what they do, but my daughter wants more than that and we want to give her the very best chance.
So the saga continues. On the plus side, everyone likes my daughter. She had never been in trouble and is really a very good kid. I hope that works in her favor.
A note on homeschooling again: If my daughter were different, I'd sign her up for a public online school. It's free and a lot of people are doing this now. But she wouldn't be able to place sports or mingle with her friends at exciting school events and she LOVES both. She isn't really a studious kid...she's more active. So the museums, libraries, stuff like that would not satisfy her. I did homeschool my kids for one year (when daughter was only three). There is a homeschool community, but most of the kids in it were just very different types of kids from my daughter and since s he is such a social butterfly (and very well liked) I can't take that away from her, even though I'd love to yank her from the school...(sigh).
 
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