I have an appointment with psychiatrist

[crazymama30]

husband's psychiatrist. He is very knowlegdable about medications, and I trust him. I really do not want to go on ad's, but I just cannot go on this way. Last week my therapist gave me a depression questionnaire, and there was no question at all about the answer.

I called and got an appointment, made sure that psychiatrist was ok seeing me and husband. Got a call and psychiatrist is fine with it........................as long as husband is ok with it. So now in order to see the doctor that I want to see I have to tell husband. I am sure he knows something is up with me, it would be hard not to, but I just wish I did not have to tell him. I do have a couple weeks, but husband has an appointment thurs.

Do I bring it up before or after the appointment? Do I drop it and see someone else? I just really do not want to have to go into details to someone new, and this psychiatrist already knows the story. Right now it is easier to talk about difficult child than husband.

Any opinions are welcome, even if it is just to tell me to chill out and not make a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

[pepperidge]

Why do you think it might upset husband?

I would just say that this is stressful on you, you need to be strong, that everyone in the family has to take responsibility for his or her problems, you really appreciate husband stepping up to the plate and now you are trying to do the same. If you are worried that husband might get worried that you are flipping out, tell him this is preventitive action. If you are worried that hd might think you are talking about him, just tell him that you are worried about falling into depression and that you want to head it off at the pass.

good luck...

 

[Josie]

Have you thought about going to your PCP? I was on an a/d a few years ago and I got it from mine. I asked her for something to help me sleep and she gave me Lexapro as well as Ambien. I did have to give her a summary of the stress in my life but I didn't have to go into the details.

In your case, since you have a therapist, you might be able to just say you did the questionnaire with your therapist and it showed you were depressed.

You can probably get in quicker, too.

 

[crazymama30]

P, I think the problem is I don't want to admit I have a problem. I am worried that it is going to set husband into another episode, but then I know if I don't take care of this it will definately do that. I think I am scared that I need this, I never thought I would be in the state that I am. For the last several years I have had to be the strong one, and I am not feeling that way at all now.

I think I will bring it up to him tonight, if I don't it is just going to eat at me untill I do. I guess if husband can let me go to his psychiatrist appointment's with him, the least I can do is tell him I am going. Let's just hope he does not want to go with me, I don't think I can handle that!

 

[crazymama30]

My pcp is more booked than the psychiatrist! She only works 2.5 days a week, and I am too worried about side effects after watching husband and difficult child go through what they have. I am really not too good with decisions right now, therapist asked me who I could see, I listed the docs and she picked. I signed a release so she could talk to psychiatrist, so she has already called him.

 

[flutterby]

I think that, maybe, you've had to be the strong one for so long that any *perceived* weakness really shakes you up. You are the one that holds everyone else together; you don't have time to fall apart - to take care of yourself. (Am I close?)

If it weren't for AD's, I'd be....in a hospital....most likely dead.

However, when easy child was going through his severe depression when he was 10-11 years old, I neglected my own mental health. And it cost me big time.

husband may be ill, but he is still your partner. You've been there for him. Now it's time for him to pick himself up enough so that you can take care of you.

(((hugs)))

 

[crazymama30]

I think that, maybe, you've had to be the strong one for so long that any *perceived* weakness really shakes you up. You are the one that holds everyone else together; you don't have time to fall apart

I think you just hit it on the head, and I have been told that many times by many people. I thought this was getting better, had a great day Saturday. But yesterday and today? Hoover. Why? I cannot say, nothing bad really happened.

I have the appointment, I will keep the appointment. At this point it is easier to keep the appointment than to make another appointment with someone else, that would just require too much effort.

I really really really abhore admitting weakness to anyone. Especially myself.

And I am really even worse about letting people take care of me.

 

[flutterby]

The thing is, this isn't a weakness. This is your brain's way of letting you know that you need to take care of yourself. It's like a friendly reminder, except that it doesn't feel very friendly.

You have amazing strength. You are not weak. Depression is not a weakness.

After I had been hospitalized for severe depression, I felt so pathetic...and weak...and embarrassed. Yet, my ex-boyfriend still told me that I was the strongest person he'd ever known, despite all of that.

Your body is just telling you that it needs your attention. That's all.

(((hugs)))

 

[pepperidge]

You know, Cm, you may not even been officially biochemically depressed. you might be, but who knws. With all the stress you have been through it could be just a delayed reaction to all the stress---kind of like situational depression if ever there was such a thing. God knows, it is not like we mothers get to take off for the beach for a week to have fun after a particularly difficult time. The job just goes on and on...

I have often wondered if AD work on grief type of depression versus the lifelong type of brain biochemical depression.

Anyway, my prescription-- in addition to seeing your therapist which you are already doing -- is to try to build something fun peaceful and non stressful (can we talk 5 min?!) into your day. A visit to the psychiatrist might help. But just remember to survive what you do on a daily basis you are a strong woman with great coping skills. They have been severely tested recently, and life hasn't given you any time to recharge.

You are carrying so much of the ball in your family. Its a wonder you just keep on going.

Hugs. P.

 

[ML]

Take care of you! Put the air mask on first and when you're breathing, then you can help the others. I'm sorry you've been feeling bad and encourage you to do whatever it takes.

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm glad you took this step. I understand why you think of it as a perceived weakness even though it truly isn't-it is a strength to recognize when you need help. Last year at this time I was feeling very depressed; had always told myself I didn't need an AD but decided I needed to try. I was snapping at everyone, over any little thing. It was a hard call for me to make to set up the appointment but I'm so glad I did and have come to realize it really isn't a weakness but a strength that I was able to get myself the help I needed.

Also, be aware that the first AD you try might not be the right one; for me the first one made me feel really weird and so my pcp switched mine and the new one was a much better fit!

 

[crazymama30]

Back to the drawing board, husband nixed the idea.

 

[flutterby]

He nixed the idea of you see his psychiatrist or he nixed the idea of you taking medications?

 

[crazymama30]

He agrees I am depressed,but thinks that if we both see the same psychiatrist that "then they will know we are both crazy and they could lock us both up and what would happen to the kids?"


Yah, anyone wonder why I am depressed? According to him the whole world is out to get us.

 

[flutterby]

Because you're not going to tell your new psychiatrist about husband and difficult child? Sigh..... stinkin' thinkin'.

Anyone else on the list to see?

 

[crazymama30]

I don't know, I will figure it out later. I will get it set up by Thursday. Yah, more phone calls.

 

[flutterby]

I'm sorry.

I know how it is when you have finally resolved yourself to something and have a plan of action, only to have it derailed.

Could you see your PCP? I think you said earlier that she schedules pretty far out, but this would qualify as a sick visit and they should keep slots open for that.

 

[gcvmom]

First of all, YOU are not the one who needs hospitalization because of your illness.

Second, NO ONE is getting locked up because of their illness, however, deciding to NOT seek help when you KNOW you need help would be the first step towards realization of husband's worst fear which he verbalized.

Third, he cannot prevent you from seeing ANY health care provider. And I see NO reason why you cannot both see the same psychiatrist -- unless the psychiatrist is not professional enough to handle the situation (!)

in my opinion, there are benefits to seeing the same professional because this person knows you both very well, knows the situation very well, and would be better able to help you because of that intimate knowledge.

husband, the difficult child's and I all see the same psychiatrist. I wouldn't have it any other way, because he KNOWS what we all are dealing with individually and as a collective. And with the difficult child's he can see what they've inherited genetically, so it really can help sort things out.

I guess if your husband is really dead-set against you seeing his psychiatrist, now that you've asked him, unless you are willing to revisit this you are stuck now in trying to find someone to help yourself. I sure hope you are able to find someone quickly, because your depression is not likely to lift on its own based on all that you are having to cope with lately.

 

[Nomad]

Read quickly...
are you seeing the same doctor as your husband?
In any event, since you are feeling so poorly, it is best for you to see your own t-doctor and your own medical practitioner. If that is impossible, perhaps seeing the same medical doctor is okay...but less of a good idea for the same therapist.
How wise of you to get on an AD and to ask for help.
It shows that you are a caring and responsible person. Feeling poorly does not mean it is a "forever" thing. And think about it...one of the things that causes us moms so much anguish is that often our kids don't really want to get better or don't take the action steps to get better.
You said you are feeling blue and this is a horrible feeling. You can and should feel better. Many of us here are under significant stress and this is at least part of the problem. I say kuddos for you to taking the steps for better health.
I hope you can get on an AD and see a therapist for talk therapy as well. Hopefully, it will not be long term...but it is what it is.
If your husband does not want you to see the same doctor he sees perhaps his doctor could recommend someone.
When and where you can, please do whatever you can to engage in some good old fashion self care....a little walk, a talk with- a friend, buy yourself a little something....sending you good thoughts.

 

[DammitJanet]

I think this is an unwise decision on your husband's part. At one point both Cory and I saw the same psychiatrist. I suppose if Tony ever needed to he would go to the same guy.