I have one problem with this site...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by FlipFlops, Jun 10, 2009.

  1. FlipFlops

    FlipFlops Guest

    Here is my problem with this site. I discovered this website about 5 yrs ago when it became evident something was off with my son. He was 5. I was on here all the time, had a different name then. I even had a buddy here I emailed with and often think of her and wish I could remember her name here or email. She called her son's girlfriend miss snooty booty. Anyway. The site was a great source of support! I was also researching disorders and such like crazy at that time....You know the drill. I basicly burned out. Things around here never got better, only worse. Did all the psychiatrists, therapists, cops, psychiatric hospital, probation, juvie....And he is only 10 now! In the last year or so I have dropped in here a couple of times. I hate this site because it is always so darn warm and supportive and makes me drop my guard, or drop into reality or something and I get all emotional. :sad-very: Why do you guys have to be so nice?! I spend a lot of time either suppressing all this stuff or too busy treading water to deal with this. So quit being such a perfectly soft place to land. That phrase stuck with me from way back and I have told it to others as well.
    Thank you all for everything. I have to go get a kleenex now...
    P.S. No need to respond. It may be a year before I drop back in. ;)
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Pass the tissue.
    It does my heart good to know that the site has fulfilled it's goal of be a soft place to land. We are a thorny bunch. It comes with dealing with all things difficult child but we try to walk in each other's shoes, see things as they really are, tell the truth and just be kind even when what we say isn't the easiest thing to hear.
    The hardest part on the site, as in everyday life, is to not be too quick to judge without using the benefit of doubt.
    Glad there was kindness, support and humor when you needed it.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, Purple, that's so sweet.
    I am so sorry. It's sounds like your son still doesn't have a good diagnosis.
    He is too young to give up!
    And so are you!
    I hope you can get someone to watch your son for a cpl days ea mo so you can recharge your batteries. It is SO important to take care of yourself.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL...well at least we arent being accused of being too mean.

    Im trying to remember who called their son's girlfriend Miss snooty booty. I remember wingnut.

    Snooty booty sounds like something LMS would say but I dont know that her boys would have been dating 5 years ago. Oldest maybe. Yeah maybe oldest. I think maybe it was oldest with a snooty booty. LOL.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry that your son is so sick. It sounds like you have done/are doing everything humanly possible for your family. I am truly aware of the despair you are going through.

    I have been wracking my brain to figure out who called their difficult child "Miss Snooty Booty". Hopefully someone will remember this person so you can be back in touch.

    Sending gentle hugs to snuggle down into and to give you a break from the stresses of every day life.

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    janet, I think you are right. lovemysons oldest child had a wealthy girlfriend that she called Miss Snooty Booty. The girlfriend and her dad were into the world of horse showing, had a ton of $$$ and encouraged lms's son to go against the rules!

    Just in case LMS doesn't see this I will PM her.

  7. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I recall the Ms. Snooty Booty..but can't recall WHO it was.

    This place saves my sanity. Sometimes I don't post much, but I'm always lurking.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I really am thinking it was LMS and oldests girlfriend at that time. I seem to remember him dating a girl like that. Plus...this poster is from TX and it would make sense that LMS reached out.
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aw, Purplejonsie - thanks for saying we are nice. We knew we were! LOL! Seriously, we all need a soft place to land, don't we?

    Sometimes we need a soft place to bang our heads! LOL!

    I hope you come back before a year is up!
  10. FlipFlops

    FlipFlops Guest

    You guys are awsome! My buddy is LMS! The girlfriend's dad had stables and difficult child worked there some. I just looked her up and am so thrilled she still drops in!!!!! The account I have now is still new and I don't have privelages yet. If someone doesn't mind, maybe they could drop her a line for me. I have thought of her so many times. Funny the impact someone has in such a brief time. I could remember her actual first name, but not her screen name. Thank you guys so much for remembering for me.:D
    Also, looking at her join date of 2006, maybe I was off on when I discovered this site. Not a shocker. The years all run together. I guess I had already started burning out and that is when I ended up in here.
    Lasted edited by : Jun 10, 2009
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    LMS is getting to be a more frequent visitor again. She had to take a break too. I went ahead and sent her a private message so it will show up next time she pops in.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Her join date isnt too accurate. I think she had to rejoin and even my join date says 2004 which is when we had a migration of the board to new software. I have been here since 99.

    Im doing the happy dance that I remembered that it was LMS!
  13. FlipFlops

    FlipFlops Guest

    Thank you Susie. Anyone know how long it is before I can message people? She probably won't know who I am unless I tell her detailed stuff, and even then may not...But I don't want to put too much private info in a general forum.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a nice thing to say. Hugs to you, I'm sorry your difficult child is struggling so much.
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont know how long it is but Im sure she will remember you. It really is hard for us to forget people we meet on here. LMS hasnt checked in here today but she is having some family issues today too. Hopefully everything is going well on that front and she can be home soon and see that she is needed on this thread!

    Im trying to remember you because I was really good friends with LMS myself back then but my boys were so much older than yours were so you probably posted on the early childhood forum. I was probably Corysmom then. Since he has grown up, I have adopted my own identity...lol.
  16. FlipFlops

    FlipFlops Guest

    I think I went by codybugs or codybugsmom. I'm not entirely sure. I remember Tammy because she and I emailed also. But, like all email accounts, I stopped using the one I had then because it just started being a spam magnet. And when I say I burned out, I basicly fell off the face of the earth. I didn't check emails or keep up with any relationships.
  17. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    HEY! Heard I'm bein talked about/thought about up here on General, smile...thank you Susie for the PM. And Great call Janet.

    Hi there old friend. I am SO glad you popped in to update a bit...but I'm also sorry to hear you are still in the trenches with your difficult child.

    Ya know...I never thought it would end either...seemed like the nightmare was only going to get worse or more horrible than the last "incident"...but you know what...It DID get better. They do grow up.

    My oldest difficult child is now working hard for husband. He hasn't used Meth in 3 1/2 yrs at this point I believe. He is living with a 32 yr old...I'm not "crazy" about her but she is a responsible lady and this is the longest relationship oldest difficult child has had with girl for quite awhile. Now he did Marry last year...a really nice girl, I liked her alot...but they couldn't work out, got seperated, and now finally divorced from what I understand.

    Young difficult child just had surgery yesterday...the docs put in a heart monitor. His "heart condition" could have been affected by past drug use and/or genetics. He is now a father of one with another one on the way...they're like bunny rabbits, lol.
    I have just the sweetest lil grandson now...secretly hoping the next one will be a girl and possibly born on or around my birthday. My birthday is Dec 23 and the next baby is due Dec 27th/28th.

    My sweet easy child turns out to prefer "girls over guys"...yep, so thats been quite the challenge for husband as he has some very strong religious convictions/beliefs regarding homosexuality. I accept my easy child as is...I do NOT allow the girl love interests to spend the night though. That's been a bit of a struggle between easy child and I.

    As for me...Well, lol, after all those years of trying to nail down what the H was wrong with my difficult child's...I went psychotic. Yep, 2 1/2 yrs ago I lost it...literally delusions/hallucinations etc. Had to be hospitalised and they found out I have Bipoalr disorder and had gone manic and it had sent me into a psychotic state (hadn't been eating or sleeping well in a week or so prior). So now I take Abilify...it has left me somewhat "dulled" in my written expression. I don't have the emotional intensity now that I once had...which, ya know, I guess is good. I"m stable and generally happy...I don't feel deep dark depressions anymore. I suppose one downside is that I also don't have the manic energy I once had so I'm not nearly as productive.

    In any event...would love to get a more detailed update on you and Cody whenever you get the chance.

    I'm so glad you popped in...Hey, maybe you'll stick around awhile. This "soft place to land" shares it all, even laughs too.

    You can find me most of the time on Watercooler or Sub Abuse Forum.
    I look forward to hearing from you.

  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tammy...I hadnt thought about the horse ranch and all that in oh so long. Gosh, seems like a lifetime ago. I think we put stuff in a before X and after X compartments.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    LOL, Janet. I "knew" it was LMS but it wasn't until the middle of the night that I remembered the ranch, the horses, the Daddy etc. etc. How funny it is that we all know so much about each other when we don't even know each other. LOL DDD
  20. FlipFlops

    FlipFlops Guest

    HI TAMMY!!
    You have no idea how many times I have wondered how things turned out with your boys. I knew about the surgery. I spent a little time yesterday going through some of the other posts you've made. I'm sorry to hear about the surgery. Had a little chuckle at the news of your easy child daughter. Only because I think about that sort of stuff with my PCs and think that would be nothing to deal with in the future after all that difficult child has pulled. Sorry husband had some trouble with it.
    GLad to hear things got better with difficult child 1.
    Congrats on Joey, and the one on the way. It would be special if the baby is born on your birthday.
    So what ever happened to Miss Snooty Booty?:D
    I hope you got a laugh out of that phrase being the one we were all able to identify you with. Funny the things we say or do that stick in the memory.

    Update and refresher:
    difficult child was diagnosis bipolar/adhd in kinder at 5 yrs. He'll be 11 in a couple of months. I was shocked with diagnosis. I just knew they would say ODD. We have tried close to 15 different medications. He was moved to a therapuetic campus in our school distict. He's been to the psychiatric hospital 3 times. Been to juvie 3 times, all for assaulting me, and those are just the times husband wasn't home to help me. I took him off all medications about 6 weeks ago. I am thrilled about that by the way. medications weren't doing anything anyway. I am more convinced than ever that his diagnosis should be ODD. He is going to a camp in early july for 3 weeks and hopefully to a boarding school affiliated with the camp when camp is over. Everyone cross your fingers! When people hear I can't physically control a kid his age they think I lost my mind. But he is as big as I am and has been for about a year.
    easy child 1 is doing ok. Just found out a couple of weeks ago she had sex. husband was devestated. Not like angry, but just shattered I guess. I was kind of relieved. I know that sounds nuts. But it was like looking at the ceiling knowing it was going to fall but not knowing when or how. So once it fell, okay. Now lets move on. I guess husband thought she might make it out o high school with everything intact. In the back of my mind I knew that was not likely. The cards are just stacked against that. She did tell us and that is good. But she told us because she was hurt when she found out he had a girlfriend. She needed a shoulder to cry on. Poor baby. Growing pains ****. Hopefully she will learn from it. That might also be why finding out your (LMS) easy child switched teams made me snicker.
    easy child 2 is a sweetie. He is 8 and we are now starting to see he recognizes all the chaos difficult child causes. I am also starting to notice he is trying to nurture me. I am glad he is a considerate and sensitive child, but I do not want him to carry that burden.
    This past school year is when all the juvie stuff happened with difficult child. The effect of difficult child on their lives has really slapped me and husband in the face now. I don't want it to be like this for them and we will have him placed somewhere. Not to mention the effect it has on me and husband which in turn affects our parenting of them.
    I totally get now why in some cultures now and way back when parents took a "defective" child out in the wilderness and left them. I know that sounds awful. But sometimes I think loosing one for the survival of the group has to be done.

    Okay. I guess this book is long enough.;)