I have returned relatively unscathed...

[JJJ]

Such deja-vu.

Tigger's principal gave me the same "we can't have that in MY school" speech. I calmly pointed out that if passing a rule that a child couldn't be disabled while at school worked, there would be no need for special education.

I think it is important the SPED teacher do everything in her power to NOT call you. Wee needs to feel both safe and wanted at school, something that only SPED teacher can control at this point.

 

[Shari]

I think she will.

I would venture a guess that she has never encountered a case she couldn't "fix". And while I feel she is entirely capable of handling Wee, she wasn't able to "handle" him in a regular environment, and that's getting to her. She expressed more than once feeling like a failure. Who of us here doesn't identify with that...

 

[DammitJanet]

Maybe to start this off well, once again you could type out a bullet-ed note with his behaviors, triggers and ways to help him calm down. Maybe even send in something comforting from home if that helps him.

Since he is going to be alone for much of his day, this could work out well.

"wee, I see you need space. Do you need your XXX now?" "Do you need to go to the XXX to have your YYY?"

Help him find his triggers and learn to de-escalate on his own. Isnt your son the one who feels his engine revving? Maybe he needs to learn to tell the teacher about his engine. They need to learn to hear him. Maybe he needs to have flash card with cars with red, green and yellow to show how his engine feels. A red flash card means leave me alone, I need a time out in my cozy corner to regroup and bring my engine back down. Maybe he needs a snack and some soothing music on headphones. I dont know. Im thinking outloud.

 

[SRL]

Good work, Shari! I're sure you feel like you need about a 6 month vacation--alone--right about now!

I'm very relieved that they didn't fight you on the manifestation issue. That would have made everything difficult.

This sounds like a good starting point--a quieter, more therapeutic, controlled environment. I hope that they have all the para holes plugged so that he will be covered for recessed and lunches.

Janet's idea of using a menu of choices sounds like a good one. I've seen it work with small laminated cards on a ring and the child shows the one to the teacher that fits the situation. We used this system with cards ranging in increasing order--ie I need a classroom break with para, I need a classroom break with snack (Mom should stock fridge with snacks and half cans of soda or juice), I need a classroom break with exercise, I need a break in the office, I need to call home, I need to go home. It helps give the child some measure of control over the situation, and helps them to build skills of recognizing and anticipating instead of having to react when it's too late. It also puts a plan in place so if regular staff isn't there, there's no floundering around.