flutterby
Fly away!
Since difficult child started with her new therapist, things have been relatively better. The 3 hours session last week was rough, but it seemed to really help and difficult child talked about being willing to try medications.
I don't know if that's still the case.
I could tell after her therapist appointment yesterday that it didn't go to her liking. She wasn't acting out angry, but she didn't say much. Today, her PCA cancelled at the last minute (another issue, as it's happened too many times). I know difficult child really looks forward to her time with PCA. She was all dressed and primped and ready to go. She was *really* upset about it, although she didn't really say anything.
We had a good day today. We were all laughing, having a good time. Then out of the blue, difficult child tells me that she doesn't think she wants to see her therapist anymore. She said that all therapist does is lecture her and tell her how she's wrong and that she can't change other people so her life is going to [stink].
Sigh....
therapist is holding up the mirror to difficult child. But, difficult child is the victim, you know. Her thinking is so convuluted victim-like. difficult child doesn't want to hear that she has to help herself or that maybe - just maybe - her actions cause the reactions she gets from people that make her feel like carap.
This is the beginning of what I (not in her presence) refer to as her "angst thing". In the past, the typical duration is about 3 hours. We were interrupted this time by easy child's girlfriend. But, not before difficult child let me know that for the past 2 weeks everyone that has spoken to her has not said anything besides verbal abuse.
Wow. She never ceases to amaze me. You would think I would have learned by now.
I have done *nothing* these past few weeks except attempt to spend time with her, compliment her, take in interest in what she's doing, etc. I have ignored *everything* as related to behavior because, 1) there hasn't been anything major and 2) I want her to focus on therapy and school starting (she is returning to regular school).
When she said that to me, my jaw just fell open. What do you say to that? If I do say anything, she will extrapolate one sentence or one word, completely take it out of context, and that is *all* she will remember. Something negative taken completely out of context.
That is how she remembers everything. She doesn't remember the good. She only remembers the bad. She has been like this since she was at least 7 and I have tried everything, tdocs have tried everything, I have racked my brain thousands of times to try to figure out how to change that. But, I can't. Or I don't know how.
Thing is, I can't even remember a single event that with even one sentence taken out of context would warrant her statement. There has been nothing negative. easy child was teasing her about becoming a vegetarian, but that was teasing and that certaintly wasn't 'everyone'. Though, she does like those all inclusive terms: everyone, no one, always, never.
It's incredibly hard to want to spend time with someone who is going to turn around and accuse you of abuse, who is going to pull apart every word that comes out of your mouth, and who doesn't appreciate a damn. thing. you. do.
I'm putting a call into therapist on Monday. If difficult child stops therapy, I don't know how I'm going to live with this for the next 4 years. It's taken 7 years to get her to actively participate in therapy.
I am so frustrated. I would probably be angry if I wasn't just so shocked.
I don't know if that's still the case.
I could tell after her therapist appointment yesterday that it didn't go to her liking. She wasn't acting out angry, but she didn't say much. Today, her PCA cancelled at the last minute (another issue, as it's happened too many times). I know difficult child really looks forward to her time with PCA. She was all dressed and primped and ready to go. She was *really* upset about it, although she didn't really say anything.
We had a good day today. We were all laughing, having a good time. Then out of the blue, difficult child tells me that she doesn't think she wants to see her therapist anymore. She said that all therapist does is lecture her and tell her how she's wrong and that she can't change other people so her life is going to [stink].
Sigh....
therapist is holding up the mirror to difficult child. But, difficult child is the victim, you know. Her thinking is so convuluted victim-like. difficult child doesn't want to hear that she has to help herself or that maybe - just maybe - her actions cause the reactions she gets from people that make her feel like carap.
This is the beginning of what I (not in her presence) refer to as her "angst thing". In the past, the typical duration is about 3 hours. We were interrupted this time by easy child's girlfriend. But, not before difficult child let me know that for the past 2 weeks everyone that has spoken to her has not said anything besides verbal abuse.
Wow. She never ceases to amaze me. You would think I would have learned by now.
I have done *nothing* these past few weeks except attempt to spend time with her, compliment her, take in interest in what she's doing, etc. I have ignored *everything* as related to behavior because, 1) there hasn't been anything major and 2) I want her to focus on therapy and school starting (she is returning to regular school).
When she said that to me, my jaw just fell open. What do you say to that? If I do say anything, she will extrapolate one sentence or one word, completely take it out of context, and that is *all* she will remember. Something negative taken completely out of context.
That is how she remembers everything. She doesn't remember the good. She only remembers the bad. She has been like this since she was at least 7 and I have tried everything, tdocs have tried everything, I have racked my brain thousands of times to try to figure out how to change that. But, I can't. Or I don't know how.
Thing is, I can't even remember a single event that with even one sentence taken out of context would warrant her statement. There has been nothing negative. easy child was teasing her about becoming a vegetarian, but that was teasing and that certaintly wasn't 'everyone'. Though, she does like those all inclusive terms: everyone, no one, always, never.
It's incredibly hard to want to spend time with someone who is going to turn around and accuse you of abuse, who is going to pull apart every word that comes out of your mouth, and who doesn't appreciate a damn. thing. you. do.
I'm putting a call into therapist on Monday. If difficult child stops therapy, I don't know how I'm going to live with this for the next 4 years. It's taken 7 years to get her to actively participate in therapy.
I am so frustrated. I would probably be angry if I wasn't just so shocked.