Hi all. So thankful to have found this. Like you I have a difficult child, but the twist is he was adopted internationaly as a teen. This adds so much more guilt for me as he was already abandoned and I don't want him to feel that again. He has many problems that all have initials..Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ODD, ADHD, and it is getting worse as he gets older. Now As I have been researching personality disorders, it seems to fit as well. We weren't equipped for this and of course the depth of his issues were glossed over by the orphanage. My son is 23 now, lives outside our home since he was 19 when we moved him to his own apt because he would not obey the rules and our lives were a living hell. ( he had a job making very good money and we have helped him out) I practically lived in my bedroom for 3 years, from the moment he came home from school, because I couldn't take being around him, I was on the verge of a breakdown and it was my only safe spot. My husband is non confrontational and my son owns him. My son is a master manipulator with artificial charm. He lives to push my buttons and see how long it will take. I am the brunt of most of this as husband checks out and always backs him. (Much resentment there) This forum isn't long enough for all his behaviors, police involvements, chaos and drama he brings to our lives even after we moved an hour away. Well after continued attempts to modify his lack of respect and abusive way he talks to me, it all came to a head on Christmas. We were going out on a boating excursion for the day and all was happy. I had pulled into a busy parking lot and had to back it out on to a busy street. Well he is loud and talks all the time so I said shush to him as I needed to concentrate. He went off yelling at me so then I yelled at him to shut up as an accident was pending. Well he became enraged, we had a big argument and towards the end he looked at me and called me a and a whore. I was in shock. This has crossed the line. Something in my brain popped and that was the moment that I couldn't take it any more. I'm drowning alone and my mental health can no longer do it. I can't help him anymore. If he feels abandoned so be it. There is nothing left, i wish not to speak, see him, or have him to my house. I have to stay strong now because he is unemployed, probably be kicked out soon, lacks money for necessities (all because he got fired and just won't look for a job...doesn't want to work) WHO DOES THAT??? Every instinct in me says help him but if I do it will never end. Its been a couple weeks so far. Sorry so long.