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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 11399" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>I had food deprivation issues. We never had food growing up. We did not have much money but what there was ended up being differently "prioritized" and it didnt' include making sure my brother and I had food. I then went in/out of foster care for years. I would balloon up in foster care, I would eat everything but the kitchen sink like I was stocking up to hibernate. Which I guess looking back I was, because I'd end up back home and back to no food. When I moved out on my own on my 16th birthday I finally controlled my own food purchases. Or I thought I did because I could ensure there was always food. I by then was a compulsive overeater and an emotional eater. By my mid 20's I had hit 300lbs. </p><p>I in the end did see a therapist because I finally recognized I wasn't in control of food at all, it was controlling me, my emotions, my physical and mental state of mind. I wanted it to end and therapy helped me most definitly. I then, when I was ready, ended up having gastric bypass surgery and have maintained my target weight ever since. I completely understand that there are so many ways not having food growing up can affect your adult life.</p><p>The only thing I do cling to, I can't kick it, is that I get teased because if you look in my cupboards, or my freezer, or my huge walk in pantry, you would think I was stockpiling for war times or something. Seriously, I stock pile much used items when they come on sale. I have taught myself to not EAT what I really don't want or really don't need. But I couldn't handle not knowing that what I need/want to prepare for a meal or give my kids, wasn't available. I don't waste anything, in other words fresh foods I don't "Stockpile" and then waste, sadly I know people with similar pasts who do. My therapist and I decided it wasn't unhealthy to do this, it offers me a security regarding food that replaces my old need to eat what is here when it is here. It is now enough to know that even if something happened financially leaving me short on cash, there is enough food in the house to carry me through that time and ensure my children would never go hungry or feel there wasn't enough here.</p><p>I don't know what will work for you, everyone is so individual. I am sorry to know you have to struggle with this as I have been there and I know the eternal emotional struggle. </p><p>I hope you find something that will help you with this, more for the emotional impact than anything.</p><p></p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 11399, member: 50"] I had food deprivation issues. We never had food growing up. We did not have much money but what there was ended up being differently "prioritized" and it didnt' include making sure my brother and I had food. I then went in/out of foster care for years. I would balloon up in foster care, I would eat everything but the kitchen sink like I was stocking up to hibernate. Which I guess looking back I was, because I'd end up back home and back to no food. When I moved out on my own on my 16th birthday I finally controlled my own food purchases. Or I thought I did because I could ensure there was always food. I by then was a compulsive overeater and an emotional eater. By my mid 20's I had hit 300lbs. I in the end did see a therapist because I finally recognized I wasn't in control of food at all, it was controlling me, my emotions, my physical and mental state of mind. I wanted it to end and therapy helped me most definitly. I then, when I was ready, ended up having gastric bypass surgery and have maintained my target weight ever since. I completely understand that there are so many ways not having food growing up can affect your adult life. The only thing I do cling to, I can't kick it, is that I get teased because if you look in my cupboards, or my freezer, or my huge walk in pantry, you would think I was stockpiling for war times or something. Seriously, I stock pile much used items when they come on sale. I have taught myself to not EAT what I really don't want or really don't need. But I couldn't handle not knowing that what I need/want to prepare for a meal or give my kids, wasn't available. I don't waste anything, in other words fresh foods I don't "Stockpile" and then waste, sadly I know people with similar pasts who do. My therapist and I decided it wasn't unhealthy to do this, it offers me a security regarding food that replaces my old need to eat what is here when it is here. It is now enough to know that even if something happened financially leaving me short on cash, there is enough food in the house to carry me through that time and ensure my children would never go hungry or feel there wasn't enough here. I don't know what will work for you, everyone is so individual. I am sorry to know you have to struggle with this as I have been there and I know the eternal emotional struggle. I hope you find something that will help you with this, more for the emotional impact than anything. Melissa [/QUOTE]
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