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Parent Emeritus
I hung up on him
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 636223" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Even as I posted that I thought...why am I doing this? I'm not asking a question, there are no words of comfort of justification, and 2/3 of the people on the board won't understand and will judge me. And yet all of your comments were helpful, and opened new ways of thinking. This dealing with difficult child's thing is like an onion, peeling and peeling and peeling (and crying), more layers, better ways of understanding OURSELVES, our roles, our place in their lives and in our own. Thank you all for pausing and being generous with your thoughts and affection, too. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes he did. I am grateful for that sometimes. It helps me to remember when I start to drift and feel like he is weak and sad and pathetic and I must reach in and prop him up. I don't do it anymore (read: right now)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It does. And I really do feel forced. What else was left me to do? Just another spin on the merry go round. Something had to change. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I like this a lot! It is a new thought to me. It has remained confusing and bothersome to me how very quickly I snap at him with any contact...I can go from having a nice day, feeling generous to the world, and the second I see him in the park I feel my whole being shut down, like a snarling little mammal in a tree hole. I can't understand the rapidity of my response. But you DSTC</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 636223, member: 17269"] Even as I posted that I thought...why am I doing this? I'm not asking a question, there are no words of comfort of justification, and 2/3 of the people on the board won't understand and will judge me. And yet all of your comments were helpful, and opened new ways of thinking. This dealing with difficult child's thing is like an onion, peeling and peeling and peeling (and crying), more layers, better ways of understanding OURSELVES, our roles, our place in their lives and in our own. Thank you all for pausing and being generous with your thoughts and affection, too. Yes he did. I am grateful for that sometimes. It helps me to remember when I start to drift and feel like he is weak and sad and pathetic and I must reach in and prop him up. I don't do it anymore (read: right now) It does. And I really do feel forced. What else was left me to do? Just another spin on the merry go round. Something had to change. I like this a lot! It is a new thought to me. It has remained confusing and bothersome to me how very quickly I snap at him with any contact...I can go from having a nice day, feeling generous to the world, and the second I see him in the park I feel my whole being shut down, like a snarling little mammal in a tree hole. I can't understand the rapidity of my response. But you DSTC [/QUOTE]
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I hung up on him
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