I joined a grief support group....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, May 30, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    finally. It's taken this amount of time to start taking care of my emotional needs after husband's death. I can't believe the level of stress along with the deep loneliness I'm experiencing. I miss have the day to day discussions; even if some of them weren't all that pleasant.

    That's life.

    This group meets 4 times this summer & ends in a health walk about the hospital grounds (beautiful wooded area). They are using something called Qigong (I'll have to look that up). The funeral home we used also has a group that meets the last Monday of each month & I believe I'll check that out next month.

    There has been too much change too quickly after husband's death; that quickness was due to my being able to function in my home versus trying to run or hide from my feelings. Because of all the chaos involved in the change I've found I haven't even begun to grieve. It's time.

    Thanks for the ear.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Big hugs for your bravery, Linda.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hugs. Wise decision to connect to others who are grieving.
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Linda, I think that's a wonderful idea! I hope it helps. Sending (((hugs))).
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    A big ole hug for you Linda.
  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Many hugs as you take these next steps.

  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Linda}}} I am so happy for you. Best of luck and many giant hugs~
  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    TL. I am glad to hear that you are taking the first steps towards healing!

    In the grief groupspeak you will likely hear of something called "griefwork". This is all about figuring out how to grieve and heal, and it is WORK indeed.

    You have what is called ambivalent grief in that there were issues in your marriage that you were not able to work through before he died. There's bound to be a lot of anger in there.

    I'd like to recommend an excellent online group:


    They have a variety of forums available including one for ambivalent grief, for those with kids (heavy orientation for difficult children there), and excellent general section.

    I would recommend starting with the general section and the section for the current year.

    The site is free and funded by donations.


    (who was 42 when her partner of 25 years died)
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sounds like a good plan Linda. I think the grief group, and the support group online that GoneNorth suggested are an excellent idea. They can truly help you through this tough time.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good luck to you. It sounds like an excellent choice. DDD
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thank you ladies ~ I don't feel brave. Ambivalent may be a better word; I think what I feel most is deep sadness over a life lost too soon & anger over that fact. A physical pain that at times is unbearable & has nothing to do with my disability.

    I rec'd a message from the hospital chaplain where husband died & she invited me to this group. I'm looking forward to it.

    GN, I'll check into that online group ~ thanks for the info.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I hope you find this group very helpful. It will be nice to connect with people who have lived through the day to day, moment to moment feelings. I believe that the activities in your home since the loss are part of the grieving process. Getting rid of what you have come to see as the unhealthy materialistic part of the relationship - a home that had become difficult for you to physically move about in. Now you are feeling ready to tackle the emotional side - much much harder but you have regained some strength for it.
  13. Penta

    Penta New Member

    Grief support groups are really good for the soul. The pain will never go away. but lessens with each day and year. Just connecting with others and finding support helps immensely. One day at a time.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you are taking this step. Gentle hugs.
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    It might be nice to have some of your curiosities validated. Until we go through the death of a particular person who has a significant role in our lives it's hard to say just how we feel or what happens or what is missing. I think getting together with others who are also feeling lost lets you know that you aren't going crazy and the feelings are a normal part of grieving.

    There is also ALWAYS a chance Linda, that you may be THE someone that another person there takes something away from for the betterment of their lives. Maybe YOU will explain something to them so they understand it. We meet everyone for a reason...

  16. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I am so glad you're taking the time to do this, our church runs one and I know it's helped so many, praying it will be a restful and healing experience for you

    ianav <<<hugs>>>
  17. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Many gentle hugs, Linda. I hope this will be a healing experience for you.

    The Qigong may be beneficial to you. My difficult child's Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has a sensory therapy program that includes Qigong. difficult child and the other clients seem to get tremendous emotional benefit from it as well as physical benefit. One of the lads that we've gotten to know at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), who lost his father a few years ago, seems to be working through a lot of his grief and other emotional issues in Qigong, that he couldn't express in any of the other "standard" therapy venues.

    I hope you get the same sort of benefit from it.