I just called our landscaper to come get difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child was up past midnight Wed night on easy child's computer. Either he has a key or he broke in ... again. Last night, he was up, eating. Left trash all over.
    He says he has a headache. Missed the bus. Ignores me. Sitting in the LR with-a portable DVD player listening to music.
    husband is out of town.
    I called a friend in the police dept but he's got the day off and of course, they won't give out home #s.
    I called another friend, big guy, 6'3", 300#. He's out of town.
    I was even so desperate, I started looking for "Big, strong handyman" types on Craigslist. How sad is that?
    I hated to do it, because our landscaper would give his right arm for anybody, and really shouldn't be taken off the job. But I knew he'd say yes. He's always loved difficult child. Used to take him for rides on the riding mower, then take him to McDonald's to give me some peace.
    So, he's on his way to our house. I've got to get difficult child to school at least for 1/2 day and show him I will not tolerate this behavior.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Ugh. I'm so sorry you've had to resort to this Terry, but I completely understand your desperation with the situation. I'd probably do the same thing, and frankly, there have been times when difficult child 1 has had me very, very tempted to go across the street to get my 6'4" 275 pound sherriff neighbor to help me get through to him when husband wasn't home.

    Good luck -- let us know what happens.
  3. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    It sounds like you have a very unique and wonderful relationship with your landscaper. I'm sorry it had to come to this, it must be an awful feeling to have to reach so far to handle such icky difficult child behavior. I would be mortified. I would also put a boot up my difficult child's rear for it.:tongue: (not really)

    My difficult child quit eating all night when we locked up all the food. It's a total hassle too because I always forget it's locked. I'll be just about to feed a fussy toddler and then I have to go across the house to get a key.:mad:

    I'm glad you drew a line and a boundary about school. That is a good message to send. I'm guessing your difficult child knew/thought wrong that you couldn't get to him today since husband is gone.

    Good for you!!
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Geez...what a PITA. It sounds like starting this new school is going to have a short honeymoon period.
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Does the school have a male resource officer? You might want to get to know him as a potential future ally in this. Some of them have good rapport with the kids, but it totally depends on the individual personality.
  6. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    Terry, I think you totally rock. You are being admirably resourceful, and obviously your landscaper has great respect for you as well as fondness for difficult child. Remember "It takes a village to raise a child"? Sounds like you've got a village! I hope things go well.

  7. Jena

    Jena New Member


    unreal. you are one resourceful woman. i'm telling you. if you were on survivor you'd outlast the bunch of them and be eating strange things from trees to survive LOL. did that make you laugh in the mist of usual misery?:)

    update later. hope he drags his butt outta that house. ok ,who said having kids keeps you young?? same person that made up stepping in *** is good luck???????????? where is that guy??? wanna beat him!!!

    ((((Hugs)))) rooting for you as always!! go mom go!!
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all!
    The landscaper, W, must have been a block away, because I heard the dogs barking just as I hit "post quick reply."
    I went into the LR and told difficult child to get dressed, and tossed him his clothes. W told me to leave him alone. "Don't you have some place to go?"
    "Yes, I have to go to the bank." (I really did.)
    I was a mess, having only had time to wash my hair and throw on clothes, but while W lectured difficult child, I curled my hair, put on makeup, and poured myself and W some iced tea. I started to feel human again.
    Then I went to the bank to get a check for the moving company (I am moving my 82-yr-old cousin, P, to assisted living on Wed. and I got some movers off the Internet to move 2 chairs, a mirror, dresser, etc., so she'll have enough familiar items to make it feel like home, but not so many that she freaks about living here permanently. Stubbornnnnn!!!! Grr.) It's been over 20 yrs since I last moved, so I have no idea how much it costs or whether you're supposed to tip, so I just said yes to the price (which, considering ins. and the fact they pulled it all together in 2 days, seemed reasonable) and decided to give both drivers a $20 tip. (If there are 3 people I'm up a creek.) They should be here by 5:00 this afternoon, depending upon rush hour. Cousin has no idea that some of her things are on their way from NY. She was going to shop at thrift shops and get temporary items. ;)
    Then I stopped by assisted living and the room was already painted. Woo hoo! (I helped P choose paint--peach--and narrowed it down from 27 different shades of peach.) Pd the down payment, opened an expense acct. Drove to Tuesday Morning, picked out a lamp and a peach bedspread (both under $30, brand new) and dropped them off at the apt. Hospital bed has been ordered.
    Felt like a million bucks. W called and told me he'd taken difficult child to school (turns out he said "You come with-me and do landscaping or you go to school." What a choice! It's hot out there, LOL!).
    He met with-a cpl people at school who asked if difficult child was his son, LOL. He's from Trinidad and difficult child does look like him. Too funny. They're both mixed race, tall and thin, with-the same loose, curly hair. He told them there were problems with-the transition, difficult child worked better with-men, etc. He can talk up a storm and he did a great job. I thanked him a million times and he said, "Stop thanking me!"
    Not sure who he talked to at school. Just changed over my cousin's phone to the new place and keep switching hats. I'll call the school in a min.

    I suspect one reason that W likes difficult child so much is that he reminds him of himself when he was younger. I don't think W was mean--quite the opposite--but he is high energy and goes a mile a minute. He was quite wild when he was younger, or so he says. :) He's over 60 now, and runs marathons, in addition to working out in the hot sun all day. He's got so many trophies, they take up every wall in one of the rooms of his house.
    He talked to difficult child today about playing football and baseball to get rid of some of that anger and energy. I hope difficult child was listening.

    I've got less than an hr of peace left until the bus arrives.
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Jena, I already eat strange things from trees to survive. We have a bay tree/bush right outside of our porch, and I dried some leaves and used them in an Indian recipe last wk. While we were eating on the porch, candles lit, little white lanterns glowing around the edges of the room, the water reflecting the setting sun, I casually mentioned it to husband.
    "You used leaves from our tree? THIS tree? You can do that? What KIND of leaves?"
    ROFL. I really missed a moment there. Should have given him a run for his money ... "Yes, it's an ancient herbal potion that empties mens' wallets and puts them into a long, deep sleep ... "
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    If it wasn't the fact that you had to deal difficult child being a huge PITA your story is hysterical!!! The whole process. You truly are not a Momma to mess with.
    I am glad he made it to school, maybe this will set a precedent.
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    terry your soo funny. mail me some of that tree bark please!!! :)
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child got off the bus and came home in a very good mood. Of course he wanted to go on the computer.
    I told him he couldn't do anything until he told me all about his day, and did some chores.
    Like THAT would really happen.
    But he did. He told me about each class, and whether he had homework, and that W drove him to school. He didn't make a single snide remark about W, either. He did a few chores, but refused to clean the kitty litter box (claimed he'd throw up) so I let him have computer time.
    I went out to meet with-cousin, and ended up staying until after 7 p.m. to wait for the movers. Cousin was surpised and a bit weepy to see her old furniture, but my friend, A, cracked so many jokes and distracted her so beautfully, it was amazing. I have some incredible friends.
    A and I went out to a new Vietnamese restaurant and talked one another's ears off. It was very therapeutic. :)
    Brought home leftovers for difficult child, gave him his medications, he ate and went straight to bed.
    It's about time he got tired out!
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Sounds like a god outcome, Terry.

    On the subject of using bay leaves - try using them fresh next time. You don't have to dry them first. When I need bay leaves in a recipe, I just go out and cut a sprig. Any I don't use get tucked into the herb rack in the kitchen. I throw in the lot, including the twigs too. They also have flavour.

    Increasingly, I'm using what grows. I have even grabbed a handful of chickweed and put it in a salad.

  14. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Terry, posts like yours make me grateful that my difficult child is small, very small, for his age. Hugs. I am glad you are able to find support, who cares who it is. Good people are everywhere, we just have to be willing to ask for and recieve help.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    we just have to be willing to ask for and recieve help.

    Yes. I'm not sure at what point I finally made that realization, but it changed my life.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    What a sweetie. The landscaper called this a.m. to check on us. He asked to talk to difficult child, too.
    I am so lucky to have him in my life.
    (Wonder if I can send difficult child to live with-him?)