"I just knew something wasn't right"

[susiestar]

I was talking with Jess a while ago and as usual she amazes me.

We were talking about Wiz and when she was little. She said she never would hit him back or fight back because she knew something was wrong.

"He would be so angry and hurt me and then 10 minutes later come in and read me a book. I knew you don't get past being angry this way so I knew he had a problem and needed help."

she was FOUR when this was going on. We actually put her in tae kwon do to learn how to protect herself from him. The instructors said she was very strong, stronger than they expected when she kicked, and they knew the situation with Wiz. Sensei talked to her about it being OK to use what she learned if her brother was hurting her as long as she just used it to stop the fight and protect herself. This Sensei trained people who went to they Olympics and he was very wise and incredible. HE was impressed when she said no, she wouldn't use it because it might hurt him.

Every once in a while I get flashes of what things were like and I realize just how amazing each of my kids is. Jess especially.

When she was 4 she described Wiz and the rages then calm as being "like a lightswitch". She realized there was a problem and Wiz needed help before husband did.

Just wanted to share. This daughter of mine blows me away sometimes.

 

[gcvmom]

Our kids can be a lot more perceptive than we realize sometimes!

 

[Andy]

She is an awesome kid. Her insight has probably made life a little easier in your home even you were not aware at the time why she wasn't fighting back and increasing the anger issues.

 

[Jena]

Jess is quite the girl. It is amazing the level of insight our children can have, isn't it?? it isn't until just recently easy child is willing to begin to accept difficult child's illness. i've tried for yeras to get her to attend therapy with us, to talk about it be more accpeting. she just sees difficult child as a lightswitch, annoying, violent, nasty and manipulating. ah... anyway i said no baby it's so much more. she's your sister it's time to start learning acceptance which in my own opinion can go very far in life. alot of lessons to be learned there.

 

[ML]

Jess is very special and this board Auntie is very proud of her. And of her mom ML

 

[mrscatinthehat]

I can so understand the pride when they recognize things others just blatantly don't. Hope she keeps those skills as she gets older.

beth

 

[meowbunny]

That is truly quite a daughter you have. Few would have that kind of compassion at age 4. No matter what she ends up doing, she is going to be one of those remarkable women who make a difference -- either to the world or to those around her.

 

[TerryJ2]

Aw, she's so sweet. And intuitive. Wise beyond her yrs.
Reminds me of my daughter, at 4, too!
What a wonderful note.

 

[katya02]

It's amazing how much insight our other kids have. Mine have blown me away like this too, in the past. I have to remember to listen to them now as well - they've been giving me some very perceptive feedback. And they know our difficult children on a different level than we do ... they don't have the parental guilt/expectations/memories of baby years/confounding factors that we do, but they also know the difficult child intimately. Often they see quite clearly things that we miss or deny.

 

[Star*]

That's my S.J.

Special Jess.....

 

[KTMom91]

Wow...how perceptive at age four. I am very impressed.

 

[susiestar]

She has kept this level of perception and insight. I think she came equipped with a very old soul and she amazes me frequently with her insights.

At school her friends are very popular. Same group of girls she has been friends with since 1st grade. She would take days and sit with less popular girls at lunch if they seemed to be having problems, and would even help them in class when appropriate. From early on she was one of the first to say "Stop it" when another child was being bullied. and there was no backlash from her friends, though they wouldn't sit with the other kid.

I didn't know about the lunch thing until a teacher told me about it on Sunday. The teacher said they missed her because she didn't let others bully the kids with problems and she went out of her way to help the kids with problems. It gave me that warm feeling in my heart. And made me proud of her.

She truly is an exceptional person.

 

[Hound dog]

Children can be exceptionally insightful. Almost to the point of being unsettling. (mostly I think because we don't give them due credit)

I remember being about 4 or 5 and walking into one of my mother's psychotic episodes, a particularly bad one. One look at her and I knew, knew beyond any doubt that there was something seriously wrong with her.

Nichole was in a horrid mood on afternoon thanks to some manipulation on boyfriend's part and his mother. The combo had gotten to her. She was approaching Aubrey and the baby put her hands up and said, "you're not my Mommy, I want my Mommy back!" Aubrey started sobbing and wouldn't stop until Nichole checked her anger and forced herself to calm down fast.

Aubrey is extremely insightful. And it is unsettling coming from a 2 1/2 year old. She really makes our jaws drop on a regular basis. I told Nichole she's what my grandmother used to call "an old soul". Wise far beyond her years. Sounds like Jesse is too.

 

[Shari]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, isn't that the saying?

Apparently its not just for parents.

Jess sounds truly exceptional. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Lothlorien]

She sounds like an amazing young girl.