We had a FABULOUS series of holiday celebrations!!!!!!! We got to see LOTS of people over the holidays that were TOTALLY unaware of the status of our adopted heart-breakers. We had a bunch of visitors come to town, and afterward we got to go be visitors out of town ourselves. So many people asked about all our beloved children. We got to brag about our oldest's tremendously impressive accomplishments!!!! ...and we developed a "short but sweet" response when asked about our adoptees. (... because we didn't want to spend the holidays focusing on the ugliness of it all!!!) Our pat reply when asked about the adopted kids was... ..."Every professional we have spoken to says they are going through a phase common to adoptees." EVERY SINGLE person we told that to, with no further embellishment or explaination... told us stories about the heartache of adoptive parents they knew that mirrored entirely our circumstance!!! These people had NO IDEA of ANY of our details... yet with with only our simple 16 word answer; they were ALL able to call to mind friends and family members who had also experienced tremendous heartache at the hands of the adopted children to whom they had poured out so much of their lives to love. We didn't dwell on the topic... they spoke their encouragement; we thanked them then said we really didn't want to spend the holidays focusing on that subject. They understood completely!!!!!!!! We REALLY had a FABULOUS TIME!!!!!!!! And yet CONVERSELY the people who have chosen to surround our adult children in "savior mode" becoming "the loving family" those "poor kids never had" (some going so far as to take on the title of each legally-adult-childs "new mom and dad") want to know why "if our child is REALLY 'mentally ill' ..." blah blah blah blah blah... They prattle on a litany of what they consider "evidence" that we are lying while we are actually trying to educate them about the BEST way to REALLY help our now legally-adult-kids. I really have such a hard time understanding how those people would think we made up the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder... They've added it and their own imaginations to our children's dramatic lies as "even MORE evidence" we have been so horrible to our children. Oh, that's right, I've forgotten... the premise of those in "rescue mode" is not that we HAVE ALWAYS BEEN a loving family that opened our loving hearts and loving homes to pour out all we could to these children that we adopted as our own. Their premise is we, the parents, are evil. THEY DONT GET TO PLAY SAVIOR UNLESS THAT IS THE CASE!!!!!!! They are so blind they don't see how much damage they are doing "feeding the beast" of Reactive Attachment Disorder by being so gullible and fostering our adopted childrens efforts of triangulization. Meanwhile the adoptees are local celebrities.