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Parent Emeritus
I know it's my fault, I keep rescuing her every time she calls.
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 724971" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Next time she asks for help, remember the two times you described. Re-read this post if you have to. My suggestion: Tell her you are tapped out as far as help, if she wants to move again she'll need to figure it out on her own. She needs to make up her mind about what she wants to do, and figure out a way to do it.</p><p></p><p>Decide what you are and aren't willing to do, communicate that to her, then stick to it. Emphasize that the it's her choice... it used to drive my daughters crazy when I said that, but I kept pushing it. "You can do x with my support, or you can do y without it. Your choice." </p><p></p><p>It's not easy, I know. Ignore her Twitter and Facebook as much as you can, those postings are manipulative, especially if she knows you can read them. Most teenagers think their parents are rude and inconsiderate when they dn't give them what they want.. and she is still teenager, even if she's legally an adult at 19. She still has some growing up to do.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, and remember that her decisions are HERS, even if they're bad ones (i.e., ones you wouldn't make for her). That's one of the toughest parts of dealing with adult "offspring" (I'm working on not calling them kids or children any more), I've found. Remembering that their choices aren't about me. I'm not the one that has to live with the consequences of their decisions - unless I choose to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 724971, member: 1157"] Next time she asks for help, remember the two times you described. Re-read this post if you have to. My suggestion: Tell her you are tapped out as far as help, if she wants to move again she'll need to figure it out on her own. She needs to make up her mind about what she wants to do, and figure out a way to do it. Decide what you are and aren't willing to do, communicate that to her, then stick to it. Emphasize that the it's her choice... it used to drive my daughters crazy when I said that, but I kept pushing it. "You can do x with my support, or you can do y without it. Your choice." It's not easy, I know. Ignore her Twitter and Facebook as much as you can, those postings are manipulative, especially if she knows you can read them. Most teenagers think their parents are rude and inconsiderate when they dn't give them what they want.. and she is still teenager, even if she's legally an adult at 19. She still has some growing up to do. Hang in there, and remember that her decisions are HERS, even if they're bad ones (i.e., ones you wouldn't make for her). That's one of the toughest parts of dealing with adult "offspring" (I'm working on not calling them kids or children any more), I've found. Remembering that their choices aren't about me. I'm not the one that has to live with the consequences of their decisions - unless I choose to. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
I know it's my fault, I keep rescuing her every time she calls.
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