I am SO glad to have found this forum. I don't even know where to begin. My son has always been a discipline problem, but his behaviour escalated when he hit his mid teen. At that time he was constantly in trouble at school which ultimately resulted in him being expelled. He did go on to get his diploma through an alternative high school. He abused drugs and alcohol which led him to steal and demolish three of our vehicles. The police officer told us at the hospital that he had no idea how he survived the crash as the van was demolished beyond recognition. He ended up being charged for DUI twice for these incidents. He spent two seperate terms in Jail and vowed to get his act together each time. My husband and I continued to hope, pray and support him. We hoped that he was just going through a phase and would realize the mess he was making of his life. Our home was in complete turmoil, our youngest child withdrew, my husband and I grew apart about everything else except parenting this troubled child. When my son returned home after his second stint in jail, he seemed to settle down but it was not long before he was drinking and partying again. He was disrespectful, argumentative and plain horrible to be around. It wasn't long before we noticed that he had stolen my husbands credit card and ran up a $1500 bill buying booze and going to bars. It was then we kicked him out. Even then I stayed in touch through my daughter and sent him food and money. An opportunity came available for him to do sheet metal as an apprentice. He begged to come home and against our better judgement we let him. He has almost lost his job several times for partying and calling in sick. His obnoxious behaviour continued and he started bullying his younger brother (who we are now having problems with) and just the other day he exploded at me, screaming and yelling horrible things. Calling me names ( even the "C" word). My husband and i have bent over double, spent money we didn't have, cried tears beyond measure and this is what we get. I am crushed, I am livid, I am worried. I had to call the police to escort him from the home and he has been gone since then. He has made sure to tell me through facebook that he hates us and for us not to contact him. I know we enabled this bad behaviour by not cutting him off sooner, but he is my child and hope dies hard. He is not a child he is a man, he does not deserve our consideration or help, he needs to grow up and learn some hard lessons. Why then am I second guessing myself, why does it hurt so much?