I lost it over black eyed peas

[DammitJanet]

well not really over the peas.

I was in the kitchen chopping up the green peppers, onions and bacon for the recipe and Buck had come home from going to the neighborhood church. (Excuse me while I gag) He was going on and on about how everyone around here who were at the church came up to him and hugged him and congratulated him for turning his life around (again gag me) and then one of the couples took him home for lunch. They brought him home while I was preparing the black eyed peas. Tony was gone to pick up a stove we were given. Bad timing.

He starting preaching to me about all the stuff he is reading and learning at church and how he knows something about seeds and picking the seeds through the weeds and its like God is going to come and pick the good people who are the seeds that are good and leave the bad people who dont go to church like all of us. OH hell no. I saw red. I kept chopping but was thinking of other things I could be doing with that knife.

Then he said something about he tried to read my bible which is the King James version but it just wasnt right like his. HUH? As far as I know, the King James version is the normal version. Maybe he has a childrens version because he is an idiot. Oh and he is special because he is a "member" of his church. I wish I could find my baptism certificate. I had it somewhere in this house at one time. Bet he doesnt have one of those.

But then when Tony came in I asked Tony how the stove was and we were talking about it and he asked if we just got it free and Tony told him yes and Tony told him he should get on freecycle and I said something about him not having a computer and Tony said well he has Crystal and Kelly (their nieces) and Buck said they dont really talk to him because they love themselves too much. Tony said what? Buck said well they dont go to church ya know? While this whole conversation is going on, I am fixing the recipe and putting stuff in it on the stove and I said something about it needing a bit of garlic and two tblsp's of vinegar. They both said...oh no...we dont want vinegar in beans! I lost it then. I said the recipe calls for it and I am putting it in. Tony said no and I threw the container of garlic at him and he slapped me on the upper arm. Then I started throwing everything in the refrigerator out of it around the room and stormed out of the kitchen to my room in tears.

I am so ****** off. I called Jamie and told him he better come down here and get Buck before I kill him. Of course, that wont happen. I have told Tony to just put him on a bus and send him home. To hell with his car. That wont happen. I swear, I am thinking of burning my house down so no one has a place to live. Is it legal to burn your own home down if you arent doing it for insurance purposes? I know one thing, as of the 3rd, I will be in a motel myself if he is still here. I am sick, I have severe emotional problems and Tony has invited a person into my home that I cannot live with. I will never forgive him. This cannot happen again.

So much for 2012.

 

[buddy]

OH Janet. go to a motel NOW. You need to get away from this jerk. What the hell do they think. Tony better fix this. He needs to get psycho buck out of the house. This guy is using the bible and religion to justify a useless lifestyle. He is not listening to nor living the Word in my humble opinion. he is twisting it as so many people do. No one who truly is a person of any faith and really lives it, judges others. That is not their place. This guy has so many double standards... he is just too limited to take seriously so really you have got to blow him off and realize you are talking to a totally mentally delayed person in terms of this stuff.

You can't handle more days of this... can you go stay with someone else? Can you call Cory for help???

 

[DammitJanet]

I couldnt handle staying at Cory's. They have no internet or TV. They only get snowy antenna tv out there which drives me batty when I am over there. I feel for them. I couldnt go without my internet for a day either. Im addicted. Thats one reason I stay at motels when I go to Jamie's...amongst others. I dont have any friends here in real life that I could stay with. Star lives too far away for me to get to her easily.

 

[Hound dog]

((((hugs)))))

Janet, once you've had some time to cool off you and Tony need to have a long talk, even if you have to hog tie the man to the bed and stand over him with a cast iron skillet to keep him still enough to listen.

All the church garbage is pretty much normal for a "newly born again christian". Well, I'm not sure about all of them, but at least any that I've ever met and dealt with. Some lose the smugness rather quickly, others never do. But while they're in this stage they're nearly impossible to deal with, talk to, or even to be within 100 yards of them. (depends on the attitude / beliefs of the person's individual church too)

But the downright rudeness......rubbing this junk in your face is just too much for anyone, no matter if they're family or not. I had to shut my mom down about such talk when in my home, she's one of the ones who never got over the smugness routine and thinks it's her personal duty to drag everyone she comes into contact with into heaven whether they want to go or not. lol And she's fanatical, so shutting her up about it is quite a feat unto itself.

His nieces are "wrapped up in self love" because they don't attend church? wth? How about his over inflated ego because he DOES go to church? Judge not lest ye be judged as I recall. phht.

This person does not appreciate yours and Tony's hospitality and he's over stayed his welcome, long over stayed it. Let him go stay with the people his "girl" is staying with, let him go stay with these church members who took him to lunch (doubt that happened unless he gave them some major sob story), or better yet, just plain tell him to hit the road and fix his own problems like every other adult.

I hope you can get Tony to see that family or not, an is an and doesn't deserve free room and board.

(((hugs)))

 

[donna723]

Lisa said it better than I ever could. But Janet, if that had been me, I would have been chasing him out of the house and down the road with that knife! The nerve of that man! He had the b*lls to lump you in with the "bad people who don't go to church" after he's been freeloading on you all this time ... eating your food and sleeping in your home and getting his car fixed! And he had the nerve to come out with that while you were standing there cooking even more food that he will presumably be eatiing? He has gone waaaay over the line and has more than worn out his welcome. High time you tell Tony that either he goes or you do!

 

[DaisyFace]

"Well, Buck...I can certainly understand your desire to no longer associate with 'bad people' like ourselves....we'll help you pack..."

 

[buddy]

Do you have an android phone? If you do (with the exception of a few contract providers) you can put an app on called Quick Settings by Sergej Shafarenka (there are others and the phones often have a simiar but this one has this specific feature)....


Once installed you go to the app and click the menu lines on the phone to get to the menu options... then you see you can rearrange the icons and there are some at the bottom under "hidden icons" and in there is a wifi hotspot option. move that up into the non hidden options. It turns your phone into a hot spot for you to use your computer on. (or ipods or other things that use internet) it is "free" (minus your cell phone cost of course) wifi.

If you have a notebook computer you can then use that to get on the internet and watch free tv on hulu etc. netflix lets you watch movies and tv on android phones now too (8 dollars a month or so for the fee for online access to movies and tv). My sister has it and we share the account.

If you dont have it, sorry I went on...but wanted to make sure you could use it right away if you do have one.

I suppose cory would not be able to just help with getting them to see your situation? Since Tony comes down on Cory anyway... i wanna come over there and give them what for. I agree with Lisa, new born again Christians are often very misguided.... my sister went thru that and actually told my youngest sister at age 7 she was going to hell. I totally went off on her! First time I said the f word in my life at the age of 20. Oh was I mad. Funny thing now, she is in this new age singing chanting group....kind of wicca/mother earth type of thing....LOL.

 

[HaoZi]

Wait... if memory serves, it's your house, right? Would it be satisfying to have the police remove him and take him to a homeless shelter for the duration of his stay and impound his car so it's "safe" while he's otherwise housed?

 

[buddy]

I think (hope I remember) that is the tricky thing.... since they are not married and all of the sibs with Tony own the land, that is the problem..... she is threatened with homelessness.... I really dont think that can happen though, Tony is not going to let that happen right? your kids would not allow that... I hope so anyway. And really since he paid all the taxes.... it will be interesting to see what the real ownership status is.

 

[HaoZi]

Well, it made for a nice mental image. Maybe it's time he stayed with his church friends for a while instead.

 

[DammitJanet]

I told tony I was fixing to call the cops and having him removed. Oddly, tony finally called his boss and got the van with the dolly to pull the dead car over to the shop that fixes all the work vans. Its across the street from Tony's bosses house. No one even ate any dinner. They just left and told me dinner was ready...for me to eat while everyone was gone...lol.

Religion is one thing I dont talk about with people. I will kindly nod my head and respect your opinions but dont shove them down my throat. I despise the church they supposedly went to here. The one they had the service for their grandmother at. I sat their quietly and seethed inside. The pastor or whatever actually used it as a call to the whatever and told people if they werent saved they would never see Sadie again. I was appalled. What if we had had Jewish people attend the service? Or Muslims? I happen to be Lutheran and we dont do things that exact way and it really irritated me.

Now I cant even find my bible...ugh.

 

[1905]

Throw all his **** on the lawn! Call the cops and let then get him out, to heck with Tony. It's your home. Balls to the wall at this point...OUT!!!! Or, just you get out Janet, go to a motel, don't worry about how much it's going to cost. The cops will make him leave, though. Don't be polite, worry about Tony's feelings, or how it looks to the neighbors. The man works at Burger King? He's a dim-witted creep. The talk about religion, and Tony's treatment of you that's causing you all this mental anguish, isn't to be tolerated for another second.

 

[DDD]

Sending caring hugs your way. I'm really sorry the holidays have been so stressful at your house. Even though I understand your frustrations I'm hoping you will find away to detach from the nonesense that is going on around you. Find a good movie to watch, a good book to read, an internet game to play or whatever it takes for you to chill and relax. I know it won't be easy but it's just not good for your health to participate in the insanity. Chances are it will pass soon...or at least I hope so. Hang in there. DDD

 

[Star*]

Find a good movie to watch, a good book to read,

I suggest the TEN COMMANDMENTS and ......THe Bible. (roflmpalmsunday off) ahem......(looks for lightning bolts to burn her into a tiny black spot on the ground with smoldering smoke)

Sorry about your burning bush dear.........man sounds like he's enough to set ANYONE's 'hair' on fire.

Love ya.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im so miserable because I simply dont lose it this way anymore. I havent thrown stuff around, had these kind of fits, felt this loss of control in my own home in a very long time. I worked extremely hard to learn to control my emotions but to have someone sit there and pick, pick, pick at me just gets to me. If nothing else Tony should have given him rules for what not to discuss.

I know..Im gonna go out and discuss politics and abortion.

 

[Star*]

(disconnects phone) ..........lol.

Sorry hon - I'm having a great new year here too. What was that poll? I want to change my vote. It's bad....real bad. Sigh.....I'm going to go to bed and pretend this last week just never ever happened. Sends hugs and love. I'm really sorry.

 

[HaoZi]

SooOOoOooOOooooo..... is he gone yet?

 

[donna723]

Janet, don't feel bad about "losing it" on him! I could never have taken his big mouth for nearly as long as you have! That man could have probably caused Mother Teresa to lose it on him! If he starts insisting on going on at you again about religion, you should quote him that Bible verse that starts, "Judge not ... ".

 

[HaoZi]

What's that one that would be good for him? Don't throw stones when you don't have a place of your own to hide in.
*snort*
Apologies.

 

[KTMom91]

What the others have said. Hugs, Janet.