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General Parenting
i love my mom but !!!
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<blockquote data-quote="kris" data-source="post: 20962" data-attributes="member: 74"><p><span style="color: #000099">blurred boundries. absolutely. however, it does appear that it's not just mom who is blurring those boundries. you're responsible for this as well. </p><p></p><p>you go to mom expecting support & guidance. you need to shut that door...gently for sure, but shut it nonetheless. mother & daughter as BFF (best friends forever for those with-o teens lol) is nice in theory, but frought with-twists & turns.</p><p></p><p>your mom seems to be usning your confidences as ways to ~~~ ridicule is too harsh a word, but you know what i mean. it gives her power over you. power she shouldn't have. YOU have to take back your power.</p><p></p><p>don't be so free with-your confidences to her. give her a diet of positive news about the kids. i'm not saying, never share...just share on a selective diet of information.</p><p></p><p>as for you being afraid of taking an antidepressant because it will loosen your lips around mom. oh my! it's key for you to be on your game so you can deal with-the kids & their issues (along with-whatever else comes your way). not all ADs give you loose lips. maybe the previous medication didn't either & you just felt more confident about speaking your mind....hmmm?</p><p></p><p>there are books out there that can help you figure out how to set better boundries for yourself. i'm betting since you have a hard time doing this with-mom there are others in your life you have blurred boundries with. maybe??</p><p></p><p>this one looks like it might be good:</p><p><a href="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780897895347&itm=4" target="_blank">http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780897895347&itm=4</a></p><p></p><p>then of course there is the book Boundries. </p><p></p><p>it's a process....just like everything else in life. it will take time if you choose to try to shift your relationship with-your mom.</p><p></p><p>kris </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kris, post: 20962, member: 74"] <span style="color: #000099">blurred boundries. absolutely. however, it does appear that it's not just mom who is blurring those boundries. you're responsible for this as well. you go to mom expecting support & guidance. you need to shut that door...gently for sure, but shut it nonetheless. mother & daughter as BFF (best friends forever for those with-o teens lol) is nice in theory, but frought with-twists & turns. your mom seems to be usning your confidences as ways to ~~~ ridicule is too harsh a word, but you know what i mean. it gives her power over you. power she shouldn't have. YOU have to take back your power. don't be so free with-your confidences to her. give her a diet of positive news about the kids. i'm not saying, never share...just share on a selective diet of information. as for you being afraid of taking an antidepressant because it will loosen your lips around mom. oh my! it's key for you to be on your game so you can deal with-the kids & their issues (along with-whatever else comes your way). not all ADs give you loose lips. maybe the previous medication didn't either & you just felt more confident about speaking your mind....hmmm? there are books out there that can help you figure out how to set better boundries for yourself. i'm betting since you have a hard time doing this with-mom there are others in your life you have blurred boundries with. maybe?? this one looks like it might be good: [url="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780897895347&itm=4"]http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780897895347&itm=4[/url] then of course there is the book Boundries. it's a process....just like everything else in life. it will take time if you choose to try to shift your relationship with-your mom. kris </span> [/QUOTE]
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