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Family of Origin
I love this. It could have been many of us talking.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 655064" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Compromise.</p><p></p><p>That is the key term.</p><p></p><p>When I am the one understanding that, though I have been mistreated, "That is just how so and so is." (Which should be: That is JUST how a so and so is.) I am compromising my self for a fantasy of family that has not budged an inch from its initial toxicity in over 60 years.</p><p></p><p>It would appear this is not working as well as I'd hoped.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Compromise.</p><p></p><p>Compromised integrity. If they don't have it by now, they are doing it on purpose.</p><p></p><p>I love the way she described the situation, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>"Given a choice, most people would rather preserve their relationships than stop suffering. One sees this in abusive families where the victims don't speak up or walk out."</p><p></p><p>Later in that paragraph:</p><p></p><p>"A healing relationship is based on awareness; in it both partners work to break old habits that promote suffering. <em>They have to walk a fine line...because compassion means that you appreciate the suffering someone else is experiencing as well as your own. </em>Yet at the same time there has to be detachment, making sure that suffering, no matter how real, isn't the <em>dominant</em> reality. The attitudes that make for a healing relationship become part of a vision you hold for yourself and the other person."</p><p></p><p>The Book of Secrets</p><p>Deepak Chopra</p><p></p><p>The first set of italics are mine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 655064, member: 17461"] Compromise. That is the key term. When I am the one understanding that, though I have been mistreated, "That is just how so and so is." (Which should be: That is JUST how a so and so is.) I am compromising my self for a fantasy of family that has not budged an inch from its initial toxicity in over 60 years. It would appear this is not working as well as I'd hoped. :O) Compromise. Compromised integrity. If they don't have it by now, they are doing it on purpose. I love the way she described the situation, SWOT. Cedar "Given a choice, most people would rather preserve their relationships than stop suffering. One sees this in abusive families where the victims don't speak up or walk out." Later in that paragraph: "A healing relationship is based on awareness; in it both partners work to break old habits that promote suffering. [I]They have to walk a fine line...because compassion means that you appreciate the suffering someone else is experiencing as well as your own. [/I]Yet at the same time there has to be detachment, making sure that suffering, no matter how real, isn't the [I]dominant[/I] reality. The attitudes that make for a healing relationship become part of a vision you hold for yourself and the other person." The Book of Secrets Deepak Chopra The first set of italics are mine. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
I love this. It could have been many of us talking.
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