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Family of Origin
I love this. It could have been many of us talking.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 655423" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It's amazing that we have been able to work through so much of this with you.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>I think the best way to describe it is that I don't believe in her, anymore.</p><p></p><p>Not my mother, and not my sister.</p><p></p><p>Denial is one way to describe believing in someone despite themselves. Maybe denial is where we create a space for the best thing to happen. We believe in the imminent coming of that best thing for so long that we trick ourselves into believing that space we held for them, and for all of us, is still a viable thing.</p><p>But it is a dangerous thing, that open intention, because it creates a vulnerability their past behaviors indicate they will habitually exploit.</p><p></p><p>So, that's that, then.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>To which I would add, for all of us, the following quotes.</p><p></p><p>Wishing a good day, everyone.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>"It occurred to her suddenly that she wasn't very good at bitterness or regret, that she didn't have the stamina for them, and if she were to recover her dignity, she had better shape up fast."</p><p></p><p>Anne Rice</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>"Be old enough and patient enough for kinds of love, seasons of it; be quiet in your soul so that when happiness comes again, if it ever does, you will know."</p><p></p><p>Anne Rice</p><p>Taltos</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>"My dearest Lucy, you have never seen them above you, looking down, con amore, the ancient, all-permitting stars."</p><p></p><p>Barnhardt</p><p>Gospel</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>"Make an effort to live in cheerful kindness."</p><p></p><p>Dyer</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 655423, member: 17461"] It's amazing that we have been able to work through so much of this with you. Thank you. I think the best way to describe it is that I don't believe in her, anymore. Not my mother, and not my sister. Denial is one way to describe believing in someone despite themselves. Maybe denial is where we create a space for the best thing to happen. We believe in the imminent coming of that best thing for so long that we trick ourselves into believing that space we held for them, and for all of us, is still a viable thing. But it is a dangerous thing, that open intention, because it creates a vulnerability their past behaviors indicate they will habitually exploit. So, that's that, then. To which I would add, for all of us, the following quotes. Wishing a good day, everyone. Cedar "It occurred to her suddenly that she wasn't very good at bitterness or regret, that she didn't have the stamina for them, and if she were to recover her dignity, she had better shape up fast." Anne Rice *** "Be old enough and patient enough for kinds of love, seasons of it; be quiet in your soul so that when happiness comes again, if it ever does, you will know." Anne Rice Taltos *** "My dearest Lucy, you have never seen them above you, looking down, con amore, the ancient, all-permitting stars." Barnhardt Gospel *** "Make an effort to live in cheerful kindness." Dyer [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
I love this. It could have been many of us talking.
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