I made a new rule...

[tiredmommy]

at dinner tonight. There will be no more discussing death, dying or the fact that someone has died during dinner. I have endured a death discussion almost every night since my cat Otto died in 2004. After Otto it was my Dad, then my mother in law's dog, then my boyfriend's father, then husband's great-aunt, then my grandmother, then my step-grandmother, then my recently deceased neighbor. And now Tim Russert.

I can't stand it another evening! She's welcome to ask questions, offer her views and express herself regarding these losses anytime except between the saying of grace and the clearing of the table.

I wouldn't mind except that she just seems to be in this "nightly death talk" habit.

 

[ML]

I second your decision, mom. I think that's more than fair. Hugs, ML

 

[Andy]

That sounds like a good rule to keep your meals more cheerful.

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks for the votes of confidence. It seems wrong to limit conversations on important topics, but I really think our family dinner time should be a little more pleasant if possible, Plus, I really wouldn't limit her if I thought she was doing more than just rehashing the same stuff over and over again.

 

[TerryJ2]

Holy cow. That's a lot of death talk.
I agree, especially about rehashing.
It's kind of funny ... my husband limits my discussions on difficult child to 5 min. when we go out on date nights because he thinks I'm obsessed with-the topic.
Whatever.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Good rule. Who wants to talk about such depressing things during a meal?

She may very well wait until dinner is over and start right in again, if she is anything like Tink...

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree it's a good rule! I hope your dinner conversations are much more pleasant now!

 

[4sumrzn]

Oh....I agree, a good new rule. Time for a bit more cheerful discussion at dinner

 

[tiredmommy]

I'm envisioning a few quiet meals as she's corrected and then struggles to find another topic. I really think she's used death as a way of controlling the conversation.

 

[busywend]

I totally agree, TM. There are many more hours in the day to have the discussion if it needs to happen. Daily death talk would take a toll on anyone.

You go girl!

 

[LittleDudesMom]

TM,

I agree. It is not unusual for a child her age to be preoccupied with death anyway. The fact that there have been some losses close to the family over the last couple years, keeps it in the forefront.

I think you are doing the right thing. I know that you would never stiffle her need to discuss something important. I think this conversation at the table is redundant.

Enjoy your meal tonight!

Sharon

 

[tiredmommy]

Well... she surprised me. She hasn't mentioned death at all since the dinner rule went into effect.

I should have made the rule months ago.

 

[amazeofgrace]

perhaps a fun distraction, cut out articles on up beat topics and pick one each evening to read and discuss over dinner.

 

[reallytrying]

Great idea--I'm going to try it as well! Anything positive and distracting is good!

 

[susiestar]

This sounds like a great rule. I think any single topic that has dominated dinner talk for so many years should be stopped, or at the least given a time limit.

she has a LOT of other times to talk about this.

 

[witzend]

I think you hit the nail right on the head! Good idea about looking for positive topics!