I made a new rule...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Jun 16, 2008.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    at dinner tonight. There will be no more discussing death, dying or the fact that someone has died during dinner. I have endured a death discussion almost every night since my cat Otto died in 2004. After Otto it was my Dad, then my mother in law's dog, then my boyfriend's father, then husband's great-aunt, then my grandmother, then my step-grandmother, then my recently deceased neighbor. And now Tim Russert.

    I can't stand it another evening! She's welcome to ask questions, offer her views and express herself regarding these losses anytime except between the saying of grace and the clearing of the table.

    I wouldn't mind except that she just seems to be in this "nightly death talk" habit. :hammer:
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    I second your decision, mom. I think that's more than fair. Hugs, ML
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    That sounds like a good rule to keep your meals more cheerful.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks for the votes of confidence. It seems wrong to limit conversations on important topics, but I really think our family dinner time should be a little more pleasant if possible, Plus, I really wouldn't limit her if I thought she was doing more than just rehashing the same stuff over and over again.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Holy cow. That's a lot of death talk.
    I agree, especially about rehashing.
    It's kind of funny ... my husband limits my discussions on difficult child to 5 min. when we go out on date nights because he thinks I'm obsessed with-the topic.
    Whatever. :)
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Good rule. Who wants to talk about such depressing things during a meal?

    She may very well wait until dinner is over and start right in again, if she is anything like Tink...
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree it's a good rule! I hope your dinner conversations are much more pleasant now!
  8. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Oh....I agree, a good new rule. Time for a bit more cheerful discussion at dinner ;)
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm envisioning a few quiet meals as she's corrected and then struggles to find another topic. I really think she's used death as a way of controlling the conversation.
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I totally agree, TM. There are many more hours in the day to have the discussion if it needs to happen. Daily death talk would take a toll on anyone.

    You go girl!
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I agree. It is not unusual for a child her age to be preoccupied with death anyway. The fact that there have been some losses close to the family over the last couple years, keeps it in the forefront.

    I think you are doing the right thing. I know that you would never stiffle her need to discuss something important. I think this conversation at the table is redundant.

    Enjoy your meal tonight!

  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Well... she surprised me. She hasn't mentioned death at all since the dinner rule went into effect.

    I should have made the rule months ago. :hammer:
  13. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    perhaps a fun distraction, cut out articles on up beat topics and pick one each evening to read and discuss over dinner.
  14. reallytrying

    reallytrying New Member

    Great idea--I'm going to try it as well! Anything positive and distracting is good!
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This sounds like a great rule. I think any single topic that has dominated dinner talk for so many years should be stopped, or at the least given a time limit.

    she has a LOT of other times to talk about this.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think you hit the nail right on the head! Good idea about looking for positive topics!