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I make myself tired
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625901" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Tish, it sounds like you already have some good habits to help yourself. Keep them up and look for more. There are a lot of book recommendations, "tool" recommendations and good practices you can add to your everyday life to help you achieve some peace and contentment.</p><p></p><p>The plan works if you work it.</p><p></p><p>And like Echo said above, lean in to your fear and your pain, not away from it. The bad moments pass more quickly, you will feel much better inside yourself and it won't kill you. I used to think it would, but it doesn't. </p><p></p><p>I believe running toward what we fear the most, instead of away from it, is again a pathway to peace and to a better life.</p><p></p><p>Reading your post, my heart went out to you. I am so sorry that you have two sons who are sick. Plus a grandson with a chronic disease. I am so sorry. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how old your two sons are, but it sounds like they are both adults. I hope you find some peace in the fact that your #1 son is "somewhere". I always feel better when my difficult child is in jail. That is sad to write, but it is true today. </p><p></p><p>I hope you are ready to work toward detaching from your second son and stopping the things you are still doing to prop him up. You can't control what your husband does, but you can control what you do.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps your husband would be willing to read this site for a while as well? It would be a good way for him to begin to see that enabling doesn't help anybody, really. Not them. Not us. </p><p></p><p>A couple of quick book recommendations for starters: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and please keep sharing here. It will do you good. It will do us good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625901, member: 17542"] Tish, it sounds like you already have some good habits to help yourself. Keep them up and look for more. There are a lot of book recommendations, "tool" recommendations and good practices you can add to your everyday life to help you achieve some peace and contentment. The plan works if you work it. And like Echo said above, lean in to your fear and your pain, not away from it. The bad moments pass more quickly, you will feel much better inside yourself and it won't kill you. I used to think it would, but it doesn't. I believe running toward what we fear the most, instead of away from it, is again a pathway to peace and to a better life. Reading your post, my heart went out to you. I am so sorry that you have two sons who are sick. Plus a grandson with a chronic disease. I am so sorry. I don't know how old your two sons are, but it sounds like they are both adults. I hope you find some peace in the fact that your #1 son is "somewhere". I always feel better when my difficult child is in jail. That is sad to write, but it is true today. I hope you are ready to work toward detaching from your second son and stopping the things you are still doing to prop him up. You can't control what your husband does, but you can control what you do. Perhaps your husband would be willing to read this site for a while as well? It would be a good way for him to begin to see that enabling doesn't help anybody, really. Not them. Not us. A couple of quick book recommendations for starters: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. Hugs to you and please keep sharing here. It will do you good. It will do us good. [/QUOTE]
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