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Family of Origin
I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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<blockquote data-quote="Second Time Around" data-source="post: 654433" data-attributes="member: 18739"><p>Hi Copa,</p><p></p><p>I've read some of your posts about your family before. I have not had to deal with this kind of situation, but it seems to me that your sister has an insecurity problem and there is nothing you can say or do that will make things better. If she changes, then things will be better, but if she doesn't, then no matter when or how you reach out to her, the result will not be good for you. I think you are missing the sister you wish you had, not the sister you actually had. If you want to try to reach out to her again, be prepared for her do something to make you feel bad. At that point, if it were me, I would let her go and try to find other people to have relationships with who do make you feel valued and happy. </p><p></p><p>As as society, we place huge emphasis on "family". What does that mean? To most people it means someone who is biologically related to you. But biology in and of itself doesn't create good relationships. Sometimes we're better off if we let go of that definition of family and create our own family of friends who love and support us. It can be really hard to let go of that dream of a loving biological family, so if you don't already have a therapist who can help you with this, it would be a good idea to find one.</p><p></p><p>You deserve to have a happy life surrounded by people who love and appreciate you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Second Time Around, post: 654433, member: 18739"] Hi Copa, I've read some of your posts about your family before. I have not had to deal with this kind of situation, but it seems to me that your sister has an insecurity problem and there is nothing you can say or do that will make things better. If she changes, then things will be better, but if she doesn't, then no matter when or how you reach out to her, the result will not be good for you. I think you are missing the sister you wish you had, not the sister you actually had. If you want to try to reach out to her again, be prepared for her do something to make you feel bad. At that point, if it were me, I would let her go and try to find other people to have relationships with who do make you feel valued and happy. As as society, we place huge emphasis on "family". What does that mean? To most people it means someone who is biologically related to you. But biology in and of itself doesn't create good relationships. Sometimes we're better off if we let go of that definition of family and create our own family of friends who love and support us. It can be really hard to let go of that dream of a loving biological family, so if you don't already have a therapist who can help you with this, it would be a good idea to find one. You deserve to have a happy life surrounded by people who love and appreciate you. [/QUOTE]
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I miss my sister...for the first time in say 55 years.
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