I need a good lie

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Mar 22, 2017.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Okay so normally I don't believe in lying to people. I am a Christian and I think that even if I tell a little white lie God will strike me dead. But this time I feel I have no choice. Lately my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has been acting up badly. Not only am I paranoid about sleepwalking, terrified of sleep, and forcing myself to stay awake at night, but I have been obsessively pulling out my hair. There is a name for what I have. I forget what it's called. Anyway, I tend to pull out chunks of my hair when I am anxious and my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is acting up.

    Here is where the lie comes in. I have a sort of large bald spot in the front of my hair where my bangs are. I have an appointment with my hairdresser on Saturday. I really am long overdue for a haircut, otherwise I would just cancel it. Obviously she is going to see the bald spot. She is going to ask me about it. I am too embarrassed to tell her. Way too embarrassed. We have a business relationship only. We do not talk otherwise. How can I answer her question when she asks me about the bald spot? I absolutely do NOT want her to know I am Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). So what do I say? I have no idea what to do!
     
  2. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Actually I have been getting a few hours of sleep at night, just not much. Anyway, the hair pulling is something I can't control right now. Should I just cancel the appointment?
     
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    You don't need a lie. You need to go with the basic truth that shuts her up. When she asks, you tell her it is related to medical condition (or just medical stuff) and you don't feel like talking about it, because having your hair done is a relaxing experience, not a time to talk about boring stuff.

    You do not owe her any kind of explanation, but sometimes it's better to give one. Just a very general one like the one I just suggested.
     
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  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you SuZir. A medical condition sounds good.
     
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member


    And it is the truth! Ksm
     
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    CB, if your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety have progressed to the point that you have developed trichitillomania on top of everything else, you need BOTH a new therapist AND a new psychiatrist. Neither the counseling, nor the medications you are getting are helping you. You need the type of counseling that is going to require a LOT of hard work on your part, as opposed to just venting and getting advice while having your feelings validated.

    As regarding the bald spot. Your hairdresser is going to see missing hair and healthy scalp, and know exactly what is going on. Just tell her you'd rather not discuss it.

    Is your daughter still living with you? I know she is a major stressor. What have you done to deal with that?

    Please get a new psychiatrist and go through a thorough evaluation including a medication evaluation. I still think you need an inpatient evaluation incl medication wash.
     
  7. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    You might raise awareness to this problem if you tell her the truth. Maybe she has other customers who do this. You might be able to help someone who is afraid to get help for the same problem.
     
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  8. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    What you are talking about and suffer from is called Trichotillomania. It is not uncommon. My college roommate suffered from it. Hers was so bad she had to wear scarves all of the time. She got treatment and by her late 20's she no longer experienced the urge/or was able to control it and it never returned as far as I know.

    I agree with Going. I would really think about her suggestions. There are very effective therapies.
     
  9. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    CB, you won't be the first client to have bald areas, and you won't be the last. Please don't add what the hairdresser thinks to your list of worries. Typically, hairdressers are compassionate people. You will be fine.
     
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  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Im thinking hairdressers have seen this many times and would be compassionate and eager to help. Please dont feel ashamed. This is not an uncommon problem.
     
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  11. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My daughter is still living with me. She is still stressful to live with, but not as much. She just graduated from her job program. They should be getting her a job any time soon now. She wants to work at a vet, so that is what we are shooting for.

    I didn't like my old therapist, she wasn't very helpful, so I started seeing a new one about a month ago. So far we have only seen each other twice, so it is still way too early to tell if she will be helpful or not. She is a cognitive behavior therapist. The other was not. I also started Luvox a month ago. I am only at 100 milligrams, and the target dose is 300. I need to go up on it slowly, so we will see if the higher dose ends up working for me. I have been battling this hair pulling literally all my life, since I was a kid. It comes and goes. Hopefully with the right medications and therapy my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) will go away.
     
  12. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    CB. I recently read/skimmed the manual by Marsha Linehan who originated Dialectical Behavioral Therapy which is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. It is long and dense but packed with information. It is geared towards therapists/clinicians but I found it very helpful to me personally to understand ways I can think and to respond to challenges I face.

    I do not know if I would recommend this particular book as the best approach, but I might suggest going to the library and taking out books on this approach.

    Take care, CB
     
  13. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you I will check it out.