Older difficult child is doing well, in spite of a few setbacks (wife moved in with her boyfriend so he divorced her). HE lives almost 2 hours from me so I don't hear his day to day problems and I like it that way. Younger difficult child has always lived too close. He seems to draw me into his frequent drama way too much. I have helped them financially more than I should but I don't want to see my grandchildren living on the street. Things have been quiet for quite awhile. Then last week, difficult child lost his job. It was mostly the fault of his boss (actually boss's wife) and I don't blame difficult child for being angry. He has another job lined up but in the meanwhile he is fixing the foundation of the house he owns so they can move back in it and stop paying rent and the guy who will hire him for the new job wants him to cut up and haul off many loads of scrap iron (difficult child will get the money from it) before starting the real job. Then this weekend difficult child and wife and friends got in a big altercation with another couple: the babysitter called; a couple who used to be friends with them was at her house causing trouble and threatening the kids (difficult child's kids and their friend's kids too: friend is babysitter's brother). Instead of calling the police, babysitter called her brother and so brother and wife, difficult child and wife showed up and got in a fight with the other couple. Yesterday all 3 couples got summons to appear in court for 3rd degree assault charges. difficult child has been in trouble before and is afraid he will go to jail but I doubt it. What will probably happen is that it will be pled down to assault by mutual consent and they will all get a fine. THe big problem is that difficult child's wife got a new job about 7 or 8 months ago and it is the best job she will ever have. She works in the kitchen at our hospital. After they hired her they discovered that, in her past, she had a charge of assault by mutual consent (basically a bar fight) and they said they weren't supposed to hire her with that on her record but they would let it go but to be sure she stayed out of trouble. So now she will probably lose her job and that is basically what they live on as she makes more money that difficult child ever has. The two difficult children have spent all of my mother's nest egg that was supposed to be for me to buy a retirement house with; they have charged up my credit cards for things like car insurance and food; we are all broke and I can't help them anymore. I know it is really not my problem but they know exactly how to get what they want. Last month I gave them $400 or their electricity would have been turned off. Again, if it was only difficult child and wife I'd let them sit in the dark but they know I worry about the grandkids. I haven't slept well for days; I'm OK in the daytime but as soon as my head hits the pillow I start worrying and am wide awake. Besides all of that my mother's dementia is getting worse and I have to deal with her on a daily basis. I would like to just leave the state with no forwarding address but I know that is not going to happen. Remind me again how I am supposed to detach from all of these people.